I show the first graders a character card and they create dialogue--one little girl sees a Unicorn card and starts saying, "I'll help you, Santa!" I tell her that she is thinking of a reindeer and she tells me that the raindeer are sick...I tell her that she can make a bunch of money off of that story if she makes it a children's book!
In 5th grade drama, we are creating scenes where I give them two characters and they come up with conversation...these two kids came up with a story between an old man and an artist where the old man wants to hire the artist to paint a picture to be displayed at his funeral. The artist only does skateboart art, so he tries to pose the old man in all these hilarious skating positions to much difficulty. Then we talked about how funny it would be if the painting was displayed at the funeral with this old dude in some crazy skating pose. It seemed like straight off Sienfeld.
Howdy! I've been teaching Drama from home now, so now anyone can see my class! Here was the first lesson I submitted and I was super nervous because I only had a few hours to get it together and it had to be 30 minutes. <3 p="">
When a kid shows up with an injured wrist or some other injury that requires them to have a bandage wrapped around their arm or leg, I’ll say to the kid, “Nice start to your Mummy costume—if you finish it, no one will even know you’re injured.”
OLIVE (Kindergartner): Awwww, I wish I had a little sister.
MR. BOWERS: Olive, be careful what you wish for...haven't you heard the expression, "The grass is always greener on the other side"?
OLIVE: No, the only expression I have ever heard is, "Hold on to your hat."
MR. BOWERS: ???
It drives me crazy when kids shout out stuff while I'm giving directions! If they would just LISTEN!!!
MR. BOWERS: Ok, now, we are going to move our bodies as though we are in an earthquake...
SANJEEV: Oh! Oh! Can we pretend that it's an earthquake in Mexico, because--
MR. BOWERS: Sanjeev! It's just an earthquake--I don't care where it's happni--
MR. BOWERS: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE IT IS!!! It could be on MARS happening 1,000 years from now for all I care, it just needs to be an EARTHQUAKE!
SANJEEV: That would be a MARSQUAKE!
MR. BOWERS: SANJEEEEEEV!!!!!!......ok, that was pretty funny.
Sometimes, when a class does really good, I give them The Smelly Hand, which means that I put a cool flavor of chap stick on their hand. Today one of the kinder kids said, "Oooh, that smells heck of good!"
COLE: Mr. Bowers, I'm gonna give you a knuckle sandwich!
MR. BOWERS: No, thanks, Cole, I'm not hungry.
COLE: No, that means I'm gonna give you a PUNCH!
MR. BOWERS: I'm not thirsty either, and besides, punch has too much sugar in it--
COLE: NOOO, that means your gonna get some PAYBACK!
MR. BOWERS: Cole, I never loaned you money, you don't owe me any payback!
MR. BOWERS: Your Imagination Journey can happen in any place and even any time period.
MELIA: Oooh! We can even write about the olden days, like back in 1999.
MR. BOWERS: The olden days, huh? When were you born?
MELIA: I was born in 2007.
MR. BOWERS: Ok, then, yes, you can write about the olden days...way back in 1999.
NAMELESS THIRD GRADER: My baby brother is always bothering me!
MR. BOWERS: Yeah, but is he bothering you because he's mean or is he still just a baby?
NAMELESS THIRD GRADER: He's not a baby, he's three years old--but he's still drinking my momma's milk!!
MR. BOWERS: ...
MR. BOWERS: Ohhhh, Kaitlyn, I like those shoes! You know, those are Converse All-Stars, but people call them, "Chuck's" because of the name, Chuck Taylor there on the logo. Those shoes have been around a long time, they're old school!
KAITLYN: No, they brand new.
Lina is a Kindergartener...so, she's like 5 years old. Maybe 6.
I was headed to class this morning and I noticed a juice box on the floor. I asked Lina if she would throw it away for me. I saw her go to the trash can and pause. I then saw her pull the straw out of the juice box and look at it for a second...then she threw away the juice box and took the straw to the recycling bin. It just warmed my heart to see someone that age recycling! That's all. haha.
SARA: Mr. Bowers, those boys are over there telling "Yo Mamma" jokes.
MR. BOWERS: Thanks, Sara, I'll go check it out.
(Mr. Bowers walks over to the area where the jokesters were seated.)
CHAYNE: Well, Yo Mamma--Yo Mamma..uhh (Chayne sees me coming.)
MR. BOWERS: Yo Mamma is soooo AMAZING! She can create LIFE--JUST LIKE GOD! Right? Doesn't God create life? Didn't your mom create YOU! And YOUR mom and HIS mom and MY mom! When you tell jokes about someone's mom, it's like you are telling jokes against GOD. People who go against God seem to have a tough life...Hey, y'all enjoy your breakfast.
We were already in the workings of putting on Lion King before my father passed away. I knew it would be tough because every time I hear He Lives in You, I tear up and sometimes outright bawl. At rehearsals the other day, the later happened:
MR BOWERS: See Nicco, the Raffiki are tricking Simba. They tell him to that his father is alive! They tell him to look into the water and he will see his father. For a second, Simba gets excited--for a second, he thinks...
MR. BOWERS: Wow! Those asian noodles I had for lunch are making my burps taste like Funyuns!
MR. BOWERS: No, it's not a bad thing, I like Funyuns.
ISAIAH: Yeah, Funyuns are good.
The Music Teacher was talking to the first graders about following the rules:
MS. DANOWSKI: If I didn't follow the rules at work, what would happen to me?
KIRA: You would get fired!
MS. DANOWSKI: That's right! Then, I wouldn't get any money to pay for a house to live in--I'd be homeless!
KIRA: Ms. Danowski, if you were homeless, I could give you some money--I have a jar that I put money in to give to poor people.
favorite teacher ever was my drama teacher in elementary school, Mr. Bowers. He
and I had a special connection together. I'd star in his plays in a heartbeat.
He knew how to use my talents. Even after elementary, we still talked to each
other once in a while. Most of all, I'd like to thank him for giving my love of
Drama and inspiring me to be a Director."
-Karim 7th Grader and former student of Mr. Bowers.
KAYLEE: Mr. Bowers, my mom says that she knew someone who died in the World Trade Center when those planes blew it up.
MICHAEL: Oh, she's talking about SEVEN-ELEVEN!
MR. BOWERS: Close, umm, but it's actually called NINE-eleven.
MR.BOWERS: I'm tired of y'all pushing and shoving all the time! Y'all can't even line up without all this PUSHING!! If y'all like pushing SO MUCH, why don't you go hang out around the SWING SET? There are children out on the swings RIGHT NOW just WISHING or somebody to PUSH them! You'd be the most popular kid in school!!!
MR. BOWERS: Ma'am, we have told the children all week that they are NOT to bring ANY of their Halloween candy to school...your son knew better.
PARENT: Well, he probably didn't know he had it.
MR. BOWERS: Ummm, he "had it" in his mouth...so...
One of the preK'ers was really studying my new watch--which is just the basic two hands and numbers kind of watch--nothing special. After a little bit, the curiosity finally took over. He blurts out, "What does your watch do?"
AUBRIE (1st Grade girl): Mr. Bowers, have you heard of Donald Trump?
MR. BOWER: Yes, I know who he is.
AUBRIE: He wants to get rid of all the Mexicans, and I AM A MEXICAN!!
MR. BOWERS: He can't get rid of you, I WON'T LET HIM!!!
Last week, there was a huge storm brewing outside and the thunder was super LOUD! I thought I could head off any problems by calmly talking to my frightened kindergartners:
MR. BOWERS: Heeeey, y'all, we're inside! We're safe from the storm. In fact, pretty much the only thing that could happen is that the lights may go out; you know, we may lose power. If the lights go out, just stay calm and I will open the door and let more light in. In fact, we can practice! I am going to walk over and turn out the lights and we can see what it will look like if we lose power! Then, if we lose electricity there will be nothing to be afraid of!
(Mr. Bowers calmly goes over and switches off the lights.)
KINDER CLASS: AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After our first graders production of Frog and Toad, the kids were helping us put up all the folding chairs. I had a chair in each hand, so I flipped one of them up and caught it at the other end so I could put it away on the rack. I hear one of the first graders comment:
Ooohh, Mr. Bowers look like he 'bout to hit somebody with that WRESTLING CHAIR.