I found a dollar

NICK: Mr. B, I found a dollar under the table in the cafeteria. Can I keep it?
MR. B: Well, someone will be missing that dollar. Don't you think you should turn it in to the office?
NICK: But, I want to keep it.
MR. B: Haven't I told you about the Golden Rule? If you lost that dollar, wouldn't you want someone to turn it in?
NICK: Yeah, Mr. B, but you also told me that sometimes people learn their lessons the hard way.

Another Kindergarden Quote

Avory: Mr. Bowers, sometimes my brother treats me like a tiger.
Me: How does he do that?
Avory: He puts some meat on a stick and makes me eat it. Then he throws the stick and I chase it and bring it back.
Me: Thank you for sharing.

there's this kid

I AM SO UPSET!!!

There's this kid in 4th grade named "Kerry" who is so mean to her entire class that they hate her and treat her like trash. I don't know if she was mean to them first or they were mean to her first, but the situation has gotten out of control. I finally had enough, so we sat down and had a class meeting. I let them speak up one by one with the intention of clearing the air.

The first three people to speak all had issues with Kerry and were very rude to her. They took the class meeting as a chance to say mean things and be sassy. I finally had to stop the meeting.

I talked to the class about forgive or forget, products of their environment and choices. I told them that if someone hits me in the face and spits on me, I get to choose how I respond. I encouraged them to make good choices and think about the Golden Rule. I asked Kerry to listen to what their classmates were saying and ask herself if any of the things they were saying were valid. I have known her for a couple of years and she is kinda annoying, but she doesn't deserve to be treated like that.

I wasn't even able to have Drama with this class because of their lack of control. I hate days like this when I get so upset by the children. I feel like this class is full of hate and it rubs off on me and then I end up hating the class. I have to forgive or forget because I gotta teach them again in seven days. AAAAGHHHH!

Only Child No More

Whenever a kid comes up and tells me that their mom just had a baby, I ususally go through the same routine. I tell them that when they were a baby, their mom and dad had to watch them all the time to make sure they would grow up to be a wonderful person (I usually confirm this by asking, "You are a wonderful person, aren't you?").

Then I tell them that their parents will now have to do the same thing for their new baby. I say that if their parents aren't allowed to pay full attention to this new baby, that the kid will grow up wild and will drive me crazy when he or she comes to my school. In other words, don't be jealous--you got the same attention!

I also tell them, "This new baby is going to think that you are the coolest person in the world because you are their big brother or sister and you need to try to be an awesome big brother or sister to them. Sometimes they will drive you crazy, but just remember the Golden Rule. If you were a little kid and you were bothering your big brother, how would you like him to get you to stop. Would you like him to hold you down with his knees on your arms and drool spit down to your nose and then suck it back up right before it lands on your face until the time when the spit doesn't actually make it back into your big brothers' mouth and instead lands right on your face?"

OK, I don't actually tell them that last part, but that's what my big brother would do to me and I just want all the little brother abuse to STOP!!! PAUL, YOU WERE A BIG BULLY TO ME AND WHEN YOU GET TOO OLD TO BEAT ME UP, THERE WILL BE PAYBACK--but I still think you are the coolest person in the world.

Domino

The coolest thing just happened. A couple of kindergarten girls were playing with dominoes in the after school program. They were stacking them up and stuff like that, but they weren't lining them up and doing the chain reaction thing that people do. Of course, I had to show them the trick. They went nuts! Then had never seen it done before! Then they decided to make a really long chain of dominoes and it curved and twisted and actually they weren't quite spaced just right, but I let them try it out anyway. When they finally let it go a couple of the dominoes didn't fall. One of the girls said, "Hey, two of them didn't fall, let's give them a hand." All of the other kindergartners who were watching kindly applauded.

Rock Show

We had a "Rock Concert" at my school for the kids who sold the most junk at the gift wrap sale. The famous rock group was a bunch of teachers doing some karayoke (sp?). Here I am rockin' the magic flute! Also here's me and and Coach Reid jamin' to "Born to be Wild". Notice how much those kindergartners' are diggin it! Actually, the concert was a big success. The second show had a much bigger crowd.

Billy Goats Gruff

I have been studying the story, "Three Billy Goat's Gruff" with the Kindergartners this week. I have been using it as a tool to get the kids to put themselves into a story and try to feel what the characters are feeling to help them become better readers and listeners. Kids have all felt fear before and can really relate to the billy goats and their fear of the troll. We also talk about the troll and why he is so angry with the billy goats. After all, the bridge is his home and the billy goats hooves do make a lot of noise. One of the kids compared it to when her upstairs neighbors were jumping around. I asked her if she told them she was going to gobble them up. She said, "yes" and of course the whole class bust out laughing.

We talk about how the big billy goat is kinda like a bully too because he is bigger than the troll. I tell them that I am proud of the big billy goat for standing up to the troll, but that I wish he would have talked to the troll first and tried to get him to leave the younger goats alone. The troll could have talked to the goats and asked them to walk quietly across their bridge.

The goats trick the troll by telling him, "Don't eat me, I'm too little. Wait for my brother, he's much bigger." I tell the kids, "It's like if someone offered you a french fry, you would take it--unless they told you to wait a minute and you could have a hamburger--or wait even more and get a pizza!"

The kids get to act out the story after we discuss it and they have a blast. When I am casting the play, I always say that I need the ugliest, stinkiest, meanest person to play the troll. The kids put on their ugliest faces and raise their hands like crazy! It kills me, they look so crazy! We act out the play several times so that they all get a turn.

Next week we talk about the big bad wolf. Why can't they all just get along?!

birthday

If a kid comes up to me and tells me that today is his or her birthday, I try to act like I don't believe them and argue with them by asking them what the date is and how old they are turning and saying things like, "Prove it! I know it's not really your birthday." Finally I will say, "I know how to find out if it really is your birthday." At that point I magicly pull a quarter out of their ear and put on my best surprised face and say, "Wow, it really is your birthday!" We used to have a Coke machine on campus that only charged seventy-five cents for a soda so I usually had a quarter in my pocket. Now the price is a dollar, so I have to remember to carry a few quarters in my pocket when I leave the house.

You might say that all those quarters add up, but when I get a Kinder kid who really believes that the quarter came out of his ear, it makes it all worth the price.

Valentines Day Dance

That's right. We (k-4 school) have a Valentines Day dance. It is an opportunity to sell a bunch of candy and sodas to raise money for the 4th grade end of the year party. What it really is, is a chance for the kids to run around acting crazy and not get in trouble. You should see them dance--funniest thing ever. Some of them actually have some skillz but most of them hop around and scream. When a song comes on that they all know there is this deafening roar and a mad rush to the stage.

This year, there was a special treat. The dance was interrupted by a fire alarm ( set off by the cool fog machine). Then, the end of the day was welcomed by a huge thunderstorm. This made dismissal wonderful.

Oh well, at least the 4th grade raised enough money to have a big end of the year party. I like that idea--have a party to raise money for a bigger party. I may have to try that with my friends.

Karate Moves

The kid at school who said the "Karate Moves" quote in my last post is still crackin me up. He is a kindergartner, has a mini-frohawk (real close to his head, just a little longer than his real hair) and makes me laugh every time I see him. He reminds me of a kid from last year nicknamed "Nick at Nite" who is in first grade now and sometimes tries too hard to be funny, and gets too upset when he gets called down. Frohawk is real excited to be at school and every day lives an adventure.

Frohawk never interrupts class and raises his hand to speak. When he does say something, it is usually something funny. If what he's saying isn't really funny, he makes it funny with his delivery. He has dark skin, kinda lazy eyelids and a little bit of a bottom-teethed smile. His best quote actually read like this, "Whenever I use my karate moves to clean up my room faster, I get a present."

Every year we get at least one kid who could already make a million bucks a minute for just opening his mouth and sayin' stuff and looking cute. I should become an agent.

Kinder Quotes and Joke

"Steven said the "S-word", he said "Shut up."

"Whenever I use my karate moves to clean up my room faster, I get a present."


"Why did the baseball hit the vampire in his suck teeth? Because he didn't have his mits"


"It's 'crowdy' in here"


"I think I see a 'hootchy mama'!" Yes, the Mama and the Teacher heard him say it.


After seeing all the kindergartners in their graduation T-shirts, I asked, "Where did all of you get matching shirts?" The kid nincamed Nick-at-night said, "Maybe they got 'em at the dollar store."

Roots

I love this saying. "If you keep digging up a tree and moving it around, it will never get a chance to grow roots." I tell this to parents of the kids that keep moving around. I know that parents have their reasons for moving around so much and I am sure that I can't completely understand because I am not a parent. However, I cannot stress the importance of stability. The kids who move from school to school are breaking my heart. I will just start to make a breakthrough with a kid and their parents will dig them up and move them on to another school. I keep a class role for all of the classes I teach and the more turnover there is, the worse the students are. sigh.

VY

If you didn't see the UT/USC game then you really missed something special. Vince Young is a Houston ISD product and really sparks excitement in the kids at my school. I am using his focused performance on the field to inspire my students. I say: Did you see VY before the game? He was dancing with his teamates and getting excited about the game. Did you see him after the game? He was jumping around again. Did you see him DURING the game? His face was so serious. He was focused. Do you think he talked while his coach was talking? Do you think he played around in the huddle? NO. He had on his game face. When you are at school, there are a few times when you can play around but when you are doing your work or your teacher is teaching you something, you need to have on your game face. You need to be focused. That is how to be a winner.

Mr. Moon

As some of you may know, I have a big belly. A kindergartener put her hands up on my belly and said, "It's like the moon!"

Mad not sad.

Today I was talking to a class about what makes them upset or sad. One of the kids was telling me that he never gets sad and that nothing upsets him. I asked him who he loves more than anyone else in the world. After he thought about it for a while, he said his mother was the one he loved the most. I asked him if he would be sad if his mom lost her job. He said no. I asked him why not. He said that he would be mad, not sad.

I think so many of the kids I know are afraid to be sad and they turn their sadness into anger. HISD had to beef up the security today in many of the Middle and High Schools because of the fighting between the Houston kids and the New Orleans kids. Some of my former students who are now in middle school have seen the fighting at their own school. They tell me that they just stay away from it. I tell them to be nice to EVERYONE!

I wish I could get all of those kids in a room and make them hug each other or something! (sigh)

go ahead, make fun of me

At least ten times a day a kid will say to me, "Mr. Bowers, he called me dumb" (or short or fat or ugly...you get the idea). I always ask the kid, "Well, are you?" If they say "yes" then I tell them to tell the other kid, "thank you". If they say, "No, I am not", then I tell them to tell the other kid, "No I'm not!" The kid usually goes and tell them. Sometimes I tell the kids that if someone calls you name, you can always agree with them and try to defuse the situation. For instance...

JOHNNY: You're fat!
BILLY: I know, I weigh so much! It's awesome!
JOHNNY: Huh?

or like this...

JOHNNY: You're ugly!
BILLY: Iknow, I wish I were handsome--like you! :-)
JOHNNY: Huh?

or this instant classic...

JOHNNY: You're dumb!
BILLY: I know, sometimes, I can't even spell my own name!
JOHNNY: Huh?

The point is, I tell the kids, that bullies are looking for someone weak to pick on and someone who they can bother. If you let the bully bother you, then they win. If you know that you are a good person and you treat other people in a nice way, then it doesn't matter what a bully thinks of you, so don't let it bother you.

end of the world

This kindergartener comes to my class with his thumb all wrapped up in bandages and I ask him what happened. He tells me that he cut OFF his thumb. He was carving a pumpkin--go figure. They were able to take him and the thumb to the emergency room and get it sewed back on and the thumb is fine. Anyway, I asked him what he thought when he saw his thumb lying on the table. He said, " Oh well, end of the world. I have no thumb."

Where ya from?

Boy, my school is getting flooded with kids from New Orleans! (That was probably a bad choice of words). It is November and there are still kids coming in. Every time a new kid comes in from "the Big Easy" I introduce them to the other kids who are from there too. It is so cool watching them make friends with each other and with the Texas kids as well. Some have lost relatives and been through so much, it breaks my heart.

Whenever we get a new kid I go through the "Welcome to Texas" routine. First, I teach them how to give a good Texas handshake. I tell them, "When you meet someone new, you should give them a good Texas handshake to show them that you mean business." Next, I see if they can say, "Howdy" and I tell them (in my best Texas accent) that we all talk like this and if you want to make friends, you have to talk like this too. Then I tell them that its nice moving to a new school because it gives you a chance to start over. It gives you a chance to make new friends and be a better student. I also tell them that the first friend they need to make is with their new teacher. Finally, I say, "Be yourself, smile and pay attention and the friends will come to you."

You are a puppy.

Yesterday I saw a kid sitting in the hallway outside his classroom pouting because he was in trouble. I have known this kid since he was in kinder. He has a big sister who I also taught. I have met his dad several times and even called his dad when the kid was in first grade because the kid had been acting so wild in my class. As I wasked by, I suddenly felt a speech coming on:

Hey buddy, you in trouble? (yes) Hey, have you ever had a puppy? (yes) Did he used to poop on the carpet? (yeah) What did you do? (I had to put him on a leash and take him outside.) Did he chew up everything in the house? (yeah) Did you teach him to only chew on his chew toys? (yeah) Is he a big dog now? (yeah) If your puppy didn't learn to go outside to use the restroom and stop chewing everything up, would you have wanted to keep him when he became a big dog? (no) Well, right now, you are your dad's little puppy, and when you misbehave at school, you are just like that puppy, poopin' on the rug and chewing everything up. Your dad wants you to learn to be a big dog and behave at school. Someday you will be on your own and you are gonna have to look after yourself and find a job. Is anyone gonna hire a person who poops on the rug and chews everything up? ([giggle] no) Thank you, have a nice day.

Not on my new carpet!!!

Yesterday, the kinder class had just left, and I noticed a dark spot on my new carpet. AAAAGGGGHHHH!!! I just got that carpet because the old one had been used as a restroom so many times in the past. I hate that! I must teach a fun class if the kids would rather wet themselves than leave the room. It reminded me of the first time a kid had an accident in my room. The kid was a kinder, and he was real embarrased about his accident. I comforted him the best I could. On the inside, I was so mad, but I didn't let him know that, of course. I was so worried that this was gonna be one of those traumatic events that would ruin his life. His spot was cleaned, but if you turned the carpet over, you could still see it. Well, the kid stayed at my school all the way through 4th grade, so at the end of his last year, I showed him the spot and told him that was where he went to the bathroom when he was in kinder. He didn't even remember doing it. So much for the trauma in Drama.

Drama Club

Every year I have a Drama Club at my school. We meet after school and basicly work together to put on a production. All you have to do to get into Drama Club is turn in a form. I ususlly get around 200 forms and pick 20 names out of a hat. This gives me a group of about 5 kids that want to work and 15 who want to goof around and a act crazy. Usually, it is the parent who signs the kids up for Drama Club. Most of the kids who are in the club don't realize the amount of work it takes to put on a play. You know, hard work like standing still and speaking loud--tough stuff like that. Hey, for some kids, standing still is almost an impossibility.

Anyway, this year, I decided to audition the kids for the club. I gave all of the 3rd and 4th graders a sheet of paper with 9 girls monologues and 9 boys monologues. They were told that if they wanted to be in Drama Club, they would have to memorize one of the monologues. I never officially told the parents of the audition. A few of them would ask about Drama Club and I would tell them the deal. A couple of times times a parent would come up to me and say that their child had lost their monologue sheet and request another one. I would tell the parent that part of being in the club is responsibility. If they lost their sheet, they could borrow one from one of their classmates--they all received one. The best thing about the whole audition was that out of 250 3rd and 4th graders, I now have 15 kids who all have memorized a monologue and that I can count on.

The kids who auditioned were fantastic. I was able to work with them on finding the right emotion or feeling and get them to do the monologue again and see the improvement right away. It really was like molding a piece of clay--or play dough.

buckin' broncos.

I had a rare treat today. I actually got to smile with the class that never makes me smile. It's crazy, but no matter how hard I try, I can never seem to be myself with some of my classes. Some groups of youngins get me so furious in the hall as they walk up to my room, that I am a real bear of a teacher. I know it's not the whole class' fault, but It's hard to narrow it down to one kid, and you hate to make a scape goat outta anybody.
Well, today I get this class coming to me, and they are usually a handfull. These guys are 2nd graders and they like to tattle, argue, cut in line, hit, push and shove each other all day long. You get the idea. Now, for some reason, today was different. First, they were really nice walking down the hall, no problems. I started to praise them right away--they love that. I kept easin' em into the room nice and slow, continuing to point out kids, individually, who were trying real hard to use their *self control. After I got 'em settled down and in their seats we had a real nice lesson and I was able to teach them something besides discipline. They were all smiling at the end of class and so was I.



*One time, I had been talking to this kids' class about self control. After school, as I was walking to my car, one of the after school program teachers offered me a slice of pizza. Of course I accepted. As I was getting a slice, I hear this kid say, "Mr. Bowers, self control." I told him thanks and gave him the thumbs up signal and left the pizza alone. In the car on the way home, i really regretted teaching them self control.

A New Generation of Houston Fans

As I sat watching Albert Pujols's ball crack the window of Minute Maid Ballpark, I tried to find a silver lining. I know the series isn't over yet, and who knows how it will end, but I found something good about it. All the kids at school are learning the pain that is necessary to be a Houston Sports fan. I tell them that if you are gonna be a Houston Sports fan, you have to give up on your team for them to succeed. You have to think that there is no chance for them to win before they do. (I think that the Texans have no chance of beating the Colts this Sunday. We'll see what happens.) Maybe the 'stros will pull this out. If they do, there is no chance of them beating the White Sox. It is only fitting that the day of the game was the 45th anniversary of Houston being awarded a franchise (a ceremony that took place in a hotel room in Chicago--where this year's world series will be partly played. The team was the Colt 45's. We lost 4 to 5. The losing pitcher was wearing number 54. aaaaaagggghhhhh!!!! That's the kind of things that the Houston fan has to do, find a way to deal with the insanity.

I want to be bothered!

Yesterday I had a 1st grader who kept bothering the kids around him and disrupting the lesson. I asked him to stop several times. Finally, I asked the class, "Is there anyone in here who wants to be bothered? I need someone who will sit next to this guy so that he can bother them and we can go on with the lesson. Is there anyone?" I had it all planned out. No one would answer, and the botherer would realize that no one likes to be bothered. Well, the sweetest, little girl in the class raised her hand and said, "I will sit next to him." "You don't mind if he bothers you?" I asked. She said, "No." Now, I know this little girl and have taught both of her older brothers and one of her older sisters, so I kinda figured she could handle anything that the other boy had to dish out. I let her sit next to him and went on with the lesson. The boy poked her shoe. She did nothing. He poked her shoe again. She did nothing. After that, he settled down and didn't disrupt the lesson again and at the end of class I complimented him and told the little girl, "Thank you, you made my day." She just smiled and scurried on down the hall. This is the kinda thing that makes teaching fun for me.

the Golden Rule

Of all the things I teach (I am supposed to be teaching Drama) I stress the Golden Rule more than anything. It is so hard to get the kids to completely understand the Rule. Treat other people the way you want to be treated. I tell them to imagine that every other person on the planet is YOU. Everyone. Your mom is you. Your dad is you. Your teacher is you. All of your classmates are different versions of you. Think about how the world would be. Would there be any crime? Would people share with each other? Would there be any violence? Then I tell them the old shakespeare. If you prick my finger what will come out? Everyone is different, but there is the one thing that is constant. Everyone feels pain and can be hurt. DON'T HURT OTHER PEOPLE!!!

Pay-per-view

Whenever two kids are trying to fight each other at school, I sometimes tell them, "Look, if you really want to fight this kid, why don't you invite him and his family over to your house. Then you and he can fight each other in the yard while your families watch and cheer you on." This usually gets them to start thinking about why they are fighting. I tell them that school is my job, and that there is no fighting allowed where I work. I also tell them something that Will Smith's grandmother told him and that I heard him recall in an interview. She said, "Will, truly intelegent people don't fight with their fists, they fight with their words."

Sometimes a kid will say, "Mr. Bowers, my mom told me that if someone hits me, I should hit them back. I ask them if they would bite a dog if he bit them first. Then I explain that their parents don't want them to be bullied around, but they want them to be smart. I tell them, "I think your parents mean that if you are being attacked, then you might have to fight back to protect yourself. When you get hit you have a choice. You can hit back, or ask the person why they are hitting you and try to figure out the problem. Hitting doesn't solve anything.

teeth and crying

Every time a kid tells me that he lost a tooth, I tell them to retrace their steps. This really confuses them. Sometimes, I will get the whole class to start looking on the ground real quick. The kid will usually start yelling, "No, no that's not what I meant!" I love it!
One time a kindergarten girl from Columbia told me, "Mr. Bowers, my tooth fell off."
I always argue with the kids about the price of teeth. When I was a kid the tooth fairy would usually give me a quarter. Nowadays, the kids sometimes get up to TWENTY DOLLARS! That is crazy! I tell the kids to leave the tooth fairy a note telling him that the price has gone up and that if he wants to buy a tooth, that it will cost him one hundred dollars! I haven't heard from any parents about this yet, but I bet I will soon.
Yesterday a class was walking down the hall and one of the kids was crying. I pretended not to see him and I stopped and told the kids to listen as I looked up at the ceiling. They all got real quiet and listened. All you could hear was the boy crying. As I looked at the ceiling I said, "Shhh, listen, someone's crying up there." The kid who was crying bust out laughing and yelled out, "It's me Mr. Bowers!" Turns out he just had a toothache.

Monday's are great!

One of the strange things about being a teacher is that the days of the week are kinda reversed. On Monday, the kids are real tired and so they sit real still and don't talk much. As for me, I am well rested and my tolerance is at a high. By the time Friday rolls around, the kids are climbing the walls and I have no tolerance.

Well, this past Friday, I told the kids when they walked into the room that my fuse was about "this long" and made the little thumb and forefinger signal for short. Well, the kids behaved really well, and we had a good time. As the kids were walking out, one kid says, "Mr. Bowers, your fuse looks longer now".

Mr. Bowers took my snack!

I teach Elementary School Drama and there are so many strange things that happen at my job. One time as the kindergarteners were leaving my room, I was giving them high fives. After all of the kids had left, I looked at my hand, and there was a nice rolled up booger stuck on the side of my finger. I then realized that some kid was gonna have to deal with the fact that Mr. Bowers had taken his snack.