Cheese Cutter

SAM: James farted!
MR. BOWERS: Ok, well, that proves that he's not a robot.

Goals

I decided to teach the kids about goal setting:

MR. BOWERS: Let's say your goal is to stop hitting your little brother so much. Here's what you do: Keep track of how many times you hit your brother in a week. Let's say it's about twenty times a week. Well, the next week, you try just hitting him ten times and after you have hit him for the tenth time, you can't hit him again--no matter what! Then you lower it to five and so on. Eventually, you get down to hitting him only ONE time a week! That's when you will be using some good self-control because you will REALLY want to hit him but you might want to save it for something really bad.

REBECCA: But don't tell him he only gets one hit!!!

KIARRA: If I only hit him once this week, do I get to hit him twice the next week?!!

Too Much Christmas Pie

On the first day back from the holiday I was so happy to see the kindergarteners coming to my class:

MR. BOWERS: Hey you guys i am so happy to see you! Did you miss me?
CIENNA: You got bigger!

Ew!

Jonathan(kindergarten) is wandering around the cafeteria with a napkin, looking at the floor during breakfast:

MR.BOWERS: Hey, Jonathan, go sit down.
JONATHAN: I'm looking for my snot. I sneezed.

Teegerstrom's Crib

The 5th graders were working on adjectives and I came up with a game that I call "Imaginary Cribs" styled after the MTV program where celebrities show off their houses. In my game the kids have to get up and describe their bedroom--and act like they are in their actual bedroom-- using as many adjectives as they can and as they walk around, they can't bump into anything that they have put into the empty space.

After we finished, I told them that next time we will play the game where they can make up a fictional "crib" and tell us all about it. Here's what Teegerstrom had to say about that:

TEEGERSTROM: We get to tell about our imaginary house?! YAY! I'm going to tell about my wizard temple!


No one in the class was the least bit surprised--including me. That's how Teegerstrom rolls.

Like a Dog

MR. BOWERS: Hey Jorge, why are you yelling at Trevion?! What's going on?
JORGE: It's because he was yelling at me first!
MR. BOWERS: When someone is yelling at you, you don't just yell back! You have to try to figure out why they are so mad and make sure that they aren't mad at you. They could just be mad at something else. If a dog was angry and barking at you would you just start barking back at him? NO! If a dog is angry, you start trying to calm the dog down so you don't get bit--or get away from him. Next time, treat him like a dog!

The Double Apostrophe

We have had many children with an apostrophe in their names in the last few years. De'Mandre, K'yhana, Andra'Nique and even Ja'Kayla and Je'quaylin.

Now, for the first time ever at our school, we have the double apostrophy: Rae'Aja'Nique!

I think that is Aw'some!

The Bus Ride Home

The city bus is a little different on the way home. Yesterday, I was at the bus stop and I was on the phone with the mechanic--he was right in the middle of explaining the $1000 repair he had done to my wife's truck--when the bus rolled up and I got on.

"MR. BOWERS! MR. BOWERS"

The bus had just come from the middle school that some of my former students feed into. The bus was so loud--like a school bus--but with adults in long faces mixed in. The bus driver just ignored all the screaming kids. It was one of the wildest things I have seen in a long time.

At least now Karina's truck is fixed and I can once again drive to school. Oh yeah, as I was waiting for the bus, my principal drove past and gave me the "thumbs up" as if I was being a good cicizen and trying to save the planet.

The Crack

I was walking past John Paul's first grade class today while they were in P.E. and he was sitting there on the ground with his pants down so far that his crack was showing. I asked him, "Hey, John Paul, are you going to be a plumber when you grow up?"

Without hesitation, John Paul jumped up and started pulling up his pants and said, "Ok, ok." I asked, "Why are you pulling up your pants?" His reply, "It's because plumbers wear their pants down low."

So do rappers. I guess he's heard that one before.

The Bus

This morning I rode the bus to school because my wife's car was at the mechanic. I fell asleep on the bus and missed my stop. I decided to use this opportunity to teach the kindergarterers a lesson on problem solving:


MR. BOWERS: This morning I fell asleep on the bus and I missed my stop. I was far away from my school. How could I solve this problem?

NICHOLAS: You could have not falled asleep on the bus.


ANSWER--I got off the bus and called Coach Reed to come pick me up!

5th Grade Campout

This is my first year to teach 5th graders. Apparently our school district has a 5th grade campout every year where the kids spend a week out at a lake learning about stuff (I'll find out what they learned when they get back). Our principal went out there to visit them yesterday and the counselor told him that our kids were the most respectful and polite kids he has ever had! I guess we're doing something right!

U

My First graders were entering the room a little noisily:

MR. BOWERS: All right you guys, settle down. I don't want to have to change your grades from "E" Excellent to "S" Satisfactory. Earlier today one little girl would not calm down and I had to change her grade all the way down to "U"--

MARTIN: UNEXPECTED!

Puppeteer

I used to teach this quiet girl named Morgan and I found out one day that she makes puppets at her house. She makes them out of paper bags. I asked her if she wanted to bring them to school one day so that her class could use them as their puppets when we got to that lesson. She brought over 100 puppets to school! I was very impressed. I got a letter from her today:

Hi Mr.Bowers. This is Morgan from 4th grade! I am in 7th grade now! I miss you sooooooo much! You were such an awesome teacher that made my confidence boost alot! I still make puppets and other things too!
At my school, we are doing a school production of The Wizard of Oz! I don't have any major parts but i will have to dance.. D: I'm not much of a dancer..
Anyways, I just wanted to say that I missed you! Have a wonderful time and be great at everything you do!

Makes it all worthwhile.

The Last Journey

I found one more Journey to share. This one's written by Danna (4th grade):


First you see yourself on a subway. Then the subway comes to a stop and you can't open he door so you decide to knock it over. The subway starts and you throw yourself out of the window and end up in the middle of nowhere, so you just walk around but you find out you are in a cardboard box, so you just walk around in circles and end up in Las Vegas. You explore the place and see a man drinking wine and singing so you run over to the man but instead you run into a room--just a room with no furniture, just a window and a door. You look out the window and all you see is a tree and a lake. You decide to open the door. When you open it you get covered by macaroni and cheese. You taste it and it tastes like wood chips so you spit it out and swim out of the macaroni looking stuff and you end up inside a closet and find yourself shrinking smaller, smaller and smaller.

Jonathan

Jonathan is a 4th grader and he is pretty pathetic. He plays in class and doesn't listen to the teacher and all of his classmates are tired of him acting up.

When his class did their Imagination Journeys, he could hardly think of anything to write and when he did finally get to work, it was about ten words and it was about a wrestling video game. Also, his handwriting was horrible--large letters like chicken scratches--like a first grader would write. Later that day I pulled him aside in the lunchroom:

"Hey Jonathan, I gotta talk to you man to man--not teacher to student. You know that writing you did today in Drama? Well, it was horrible! If you ever want to send a note to a girl asking her out on a date or something, she would laugh in your face! You need to get that handwriting in check! I mean it! You need to work hard in school and quit playing around!"

The next week he came to Drama, I about flipped out when he handed me a paper with every letter in the alphabet written twenty times each in really nice handwriting! I was so proud of him, I really propped him up. I also gave him a new pencil with one of those cushy things that helps a tired hand and also one of those erasers that you stick on the end.

The Journey Continues

Here is Austin's (4th grade) Imagination Journey:

You are standing next to an elevator. You are in a room with no doors and no windows. You decide to press the elevator button. You get on the elevator. It is empty. The doors close and the elevator descends, you start going down. You go faster and faster and faster and faster and faster and faster and faster until you can't take going any faster. Then the elevator stops and you get off and you are amazed by what you see. In front of you is a tower that is so high you can't see the top, but what makes it fascinating is that it's made of pure gold. Suddenly, you fall through a trap door!

Another Journey

I may be posting several of these kids journeys. Here is an offering from Joseph (4th grade) who came to our school in second grade because his family evacuated New Orleans after Katrina:

You wake up and you are in a palace. They have three doors. You choose door two and when you walk in you see Soulja Boy and he says, "Let's do the Soulja Boy dance called 'Superman'". When you do the dance, water comes gushing through all sides of the wall. Then you try to swim for the door, but it's locked. You try to look for some windows but there aren't any more. Then you see The Hulk bust through the door and he's just standing there letting out all of the water. Then when all the water is gone he tries to stomp his ten-foot long foot on your face but you keep on running. Then when you hop out of the busted door and run outside there were cops all over and they thought you broke into the house and they brought you to jail and you try to run free and they catch you.


On a side note; one girl named Miridiat wrote that, "...an octopus swims by and grabs you by its specticals".

Imagination Journey

Once a year I will take the 4th graders on an Imagination Journey where they will act things out as a group while I narrate. Then the next week, they will write their own journeys and I will read them while they act those out. Every once in a while I will get a really strange journey:

Written By DeMarco (4th grade)

Monkeys and robots are fighting in space and you are on the monkey's side. You start to shoot the robots, but the robots are out numbered. A monkey bites you and you turn into a monkey and you scream, "Oo-ohoh!" Then you tell them to take you to their master. Then they take you to Monkey Zilla. Monkey Zilla swings you around and around and you get sick and he starts laughing at you when you throw-up. Then he ate you and he had no organs and he had long toe nails. Then Dracula came to kill Monkey Zilla and he turned into Monkey Zilla Dracula.


Needless to say, the kids had a wonderful time acting this one out!

Should've Kept Your Mouth Shut

I walked into the Chess Club's meeting and challenged Christopher to a game of Chess. Christopher was the best player in the school and had even beat up on most of the kids in the city in his age group.

I pretty much just know the rules of Chess and have no strategies or tricks--I just play.

After about five minutes, Christopher makes a move and then immediatly gets all frustrated with himself and says, "Aw, man, you won."

Before I could even question him he is rattling off, "Now you're gonna move here and then I will have to move here to block you and then you will move here and have me in Check Mate".

My response: THAT'S RIGHT!

No Rules Day at Wal-Mart

While discussing the importance of rules, I gave this analogy:

Let's imagine that it's no rules day at Wal-mart. We walk into the store and the greeter says, "Welcome to Wal-Mart. Today there are NO RULES!"
SWEET! First thing I would do is go get a bike and start riding it around the store! I have always wanted to do that! What would you guys do?

-I would go and play with the toys!
-I would get some money!
-I would eat at the McDonalds in Wal-Mart!
-I would throw the footballs!
-I would get me some movies!
-I would steal everything in the store!

OK that all sounds fun--if it was just us. However, if there was a no rules day at Wal-Mart then you know everybody and their dog would come out to the store and get in on the fun.
If I was riding my bike in the store and a bunch of little kids were running around--what could happen?


If I was playing with some toys and a bunch of older kids came up and wanted to play with the same toy as me, what might they do?


If I was getting some money out of the cash register and other people saw me doing it and they decided that they wanted that money too, then what could happen?

It might be fun to have a no rules day, but you see, rules are necessary for the safety of all of the people.

Top Kindergarten Occupations

Every year I ask the kindergarteners to act out what they want to be when they grow up and the other kids try to guess what it is. A couple of years ago, Melissa was doing what looked like mixing chemicals so we guessed "scientist"--only to find out that what she really wanted to be was "bartender". Here are some of the top things kindergartners want to be when they grow up:

Wrestler
Ballerina
Runner
Wal*Mart worker
Princess
Cowboy
Cop
Power Ranger

Trisha

MR. BOWERS: Trisha, that was a good answer, did you already know it or did you think about it?
TRISHA: (a pre-k student) I tinked it.

Yep

LESLIE: (A kid in pre-K.) Mr. Bowers, I know what catsup's made of--"
MR. BOWERS: What's catsup made of, Leslie?
LESLIE: Potatoe!

The Hampster

(Taylor, a third grader, raises her hand at the beginning of class)

TAYLOR: (In a matter of fact like voice) Mr. Bowers, my hampster died!

MR. BOWERS: I'm sorry. Did you bury him in the back yard?

TAYLOR: (matter of factly) We made him this box and we put some of his toys in it and made him a little bed with some tissue...and...well it just happened this morning...(here come the tears.)

MR. BOWERS: Oh my goddness, I'm so sorry, "Yall, listen up, her hampster just died this morning!"

(Everyone kind of gives these honestly sympathetic whimpers and those sitting next to her instantly comfort her an she gets herself together)

MR. BOWERS: Hey, you know what I always do when my wife starts worring about our turtle dying someday? I just say, "(I bust out a beautiful song...) It's the circle of liiiiiiiife."

THE CLASS: Yeah, that's right!

MR. BOWERS: Taylor, did he have a good life while he was with you?

TAYLOR: Yes.

MR. BOWERS: Did you feed him and take good care of him and play with him?

TAYLOR: Yes.

MR. BOWERS: Did you ever let any cats chase him or anything?

TAYLOR: (laughing a little) NO!

MR. BOWERS: Then he had a better life than most rodents!


At this point we all laughed and this seemed to really comfort Taylor. Then we all had a really nice time interviewing each other as if we were inventors.

Not A Lazy American

During a lesson on RESPECT, I gave the following example:

"This summer my wife, my cousin and my brother in-law were in the Philippines and we went to this lake way up in the mountains. At the lake, these two Filipino dudes were selling rides across on their Banka boat; which is like a canoe. We noticed that there were 2 extra oars to row with. Now, class, what would they think about us if we didn't help them row the boat? (CLASS: That y'll were lazy!) Not just lazy, but lazy AMERICANS.

Now, see kids, in some other countries, people recognize Americans right away. The way we dress, the way we act, how we talk, how we carry ourselves...To some people, Americans are thought to be lazy--and in many ways we are! We eat too much fast food; we watch too much TV and many of us--including me--are just a little bit overweight.

We wanted to show those Filipino dudes that we weren't lazy, so we helped row the boat across the lake to the waterfall.

Now, at first it was fun, but it took us about 20 minutes and we worked very hard. We were doing our best to keep up the same pace as the man in the front of the boat. I was sweating and my arms were on fire! It was so hard!

When we got to the other side of the lake, those two guys looked at us with RESPECT because they knew how hard we had worked.

I want you to know that just like I was working hard to get some respect for my country, you have to work hard at school to get respect for yourself, and for your family! If you are lazy at school and don't behave, that reflects poorly on family and your mom and dad because it’s your mom and dad who first teach you how to behave and they are the first ones who tell you what is expected of you at school."

KAITLYN: Mr. Bowers, I went to a lake before!
MR. BOWERS: (sigh)

Greater Than/Less Than

I am teaching the 1st graders the concept of greater than/less than like in this example:

8>6

I will have the kids come up with a choice for their class like; whoever likes pizza, go on this side of the room and whoever likes spaghetti go on the other side of the room. Then the kid counts the groups and stands in the middls of the room and makes the "greater than" sign with their hands towards the larger group.

So, it's finally Kevin's turn. He is the last one. He has participated in all of the other kids' surveys and has had all this time to think of what his question is going to be.

KEVIN: Whoever likes to draw art go on this side of the room and whoever likes to run around in their underwear go on the other side of the room.

I went to the underwear side of the room which made our side have 10 to the art-sy side's 9. Underwear WINS AGAIN!

He's an Umpire!

I had this Pre-Kindergarten kid in my class who is missing his two front teeth. One of his classmates told me he was an umpire. You know, because it is close to Halloween. Get it? Because of his fangs. Get it?

Waiting for the Anger

I have come to a realization. Some kids will not cooperate with an adult until the adult becomes angry. I can ask kids politely to get quiet several times and get no cooperation, but as soon as I raise my voice and show them that I am angry, they will get quiet right away. Sometimes I will pretend to be angry just to get them quiet, then quickly return to a polite person and continue teaching. When I yell at them, they get quiet for a few minutes, then the cycle starts over again--like they forgot how mad I was a few minutes ago--and I start asking them to get quiet again nicely--until I get angry again--AAAGGGHHH!!!.

I asked some of my classes if that's how it is at home and--guess what--it is. Their parents can't beat them, so they yell at them. I told them how it was when I was a kid:

"See, when I was a kid, if the teacher or parent got mad, that usually resulted in a whoopin'. You don't forget about a whoopin' in just a few minutes. You usually remember that for the rest of the day--especially if getting a whoopin' at school meant that you would get another whoopin' when you got home. The pain and humiliation of getting a whoopin' would sometimes cause you to behave for even a few days."

One Man Show

A first grader was actin' a fool in his class and his teacher said, "Joe, are you putting on a little one man show over there?" Another kid in the class was heard saying, "That would be a pretty boring show."

I thought it was funny. I don't know if it really is or not. Sorry if it's not.

The Year 2066

That is the year that some of our 5th graders will turn 70. When the 5th graders figured out the year they will turn 70, one of the kids said, "Wow! 2066! There will propably be flying cars!" I remember thinking that about the year 2000 when I was a kid.

Some of the kids I am teaching were born AFTER 911. Some of these kids are awesome, but some of them are, like, wow. I just don't know.

I still believe that the future is bright. Even the worst class at my school has a majority of well behaved kids in it--it's just that the ill-behaved kids are way louder than the others.

The kids who do have it together are REALLY smart. I am so impressed with the way some of these kids think.

Imagine what kind of humor and creativity comes out of a 10 year old who grew up in a world where "The Simpsons" is on every day after school. When I was 10, I propably wouldn't have even understood most of the jokes on that show. Although, I can't complain about getting to watch the Buggsbunny Roadrunner Show--that was the BEST TV SHOW EVER!!!

Your Brain is a Butler

I was talking to the kids about CONCENTRATION. I told them that concentration is when you are thinking attentivly. I taught the word "attend" by using the example of a butler.

A butler will attend to your every need. He will wash your socks, fix your food, get you toys--what ever you need, he will do. I told them that when you concentrate, you brain is like a butler to whatever you are concentrating on.

Martin (1st grade) said, "I have a butler--my mom and dad--they cook for me!"

I also told them that they can be butlers for their teacher. I know their parents told them to do whatever their teacher tells them to do, so in a sense they are butlers for their teacher. I also told them that their teacher will never tell them to wash her socks!

I DID NOT TAPE HIM DOWN!

Just for the record--C.J. (kindergartener) was NOT taped to his seat!

However, C.J. was having trouble staying in his seat and I WANTED to tape him to it. I decided to take a chance. I know C.J.'s mom and I hoped she would approve of what I did, but I want to make it clear that he was NOT taped to his seat. I laid a piece of tape across C.J.'s lap and told him to imagine that he was taped to his seat. The deal was, If my class ended and he was still "taped down" then he would recieve a sticker. C.J. was very excited to try it.

He succeded.

I would like to take full credit for this idea, but I actually heard about it a long time ago when I was training to be a teacher. I heard that you can do the same thing with a piece of string if you are worried about being sued, but like I said, "I DID NOT TAPE HIM DOWN!!!!!!"

A Good Leader

This morning I saw Hannah (3rd grade) tying a kindergartener's shoe. Then, I saw her walking with her to make sure she made it o.k. to the cafeteria. Next, I saw her sitting with the kid at breakfast. Then later at breakfast, I was cleaning up a mess near where they were sitting and Hannah offered me her napkin to help clean up the mess.

I told all of this to a group of 5th graders as an example of leadership. I want them to be leaders for the younger kids at our school. One of the 5th grade girls remembered that when she was in kindergarten, she was lost and a 4th grader helped her find her class. She says that she never forgets that time. I asked her if she knew the 4th graders’ name and she didn't. It made me so proud of that kid--even though I didn't know who it was--I knew that it had to be one of my students at that time. I almost cried--but that doesn't make me a sissy--just a sensitive tough guy, right?

I Learned to Drive in Kindergarten

I am trying to teach the kindergarteners to walk in line. I compare it to when their parents are driving:


What happens if someone cuts in front of your mom in traffic? Does she honk at them? Sometimes. Does she say, "I'll show them!" and ram her car into theirs? NO! You have to be like that in line. You can't just shove another kid outta line just because they cut in front of you! You have to "honk" at them. Tell them, "Please don't cut in front of me."

Sometimes when your mom honks at people, they are rude to her. Sometimes when you tell a kid not to cut in front of you, they will be rude to you. You will learn that there are rude people all over the world, there's not much you can do about that. The rude people will learn their lesson the hard way. Someday they will be rude to their boss and get fired, or they will be rude to a policeman and get in trouble. You can teach them a lesson in kindness. If a kid sticks his tongue out at you, you just smile and wave at them.

At this point Jalen raises his hand, "If someone honks at my mom, she gives them the fanger!"

That's Gotta Hurt!

I walked into the classroom after all of the kids had entered the room. Joseph, a third grader, was doubled up on the floor with his hands around his mid-section. I asked him what was wrong and his response was, "He kicked me in my journals!"

New Vocabulary

"Do we posta?"

translation: Are we required to?

example: Mr. Bowers, do we posta bring a pencil to Drama Class?

The First Metaphore of the Year

It's only the second day of school and I have already busted out a new metaphore.

Tony is a new 4th grader at our school and he, "don't trust nobody," and he is "tired of my teacher always telling me about her rules". I tried to tell him why his teacher is trying to get him to "run with the herd".

Your teacher is a cowboy. She is driving her herd across the country and trying her best to protect them. What happens if one of the cows tries to run away from the herd and get off into the canyon? There could be rattlesnakes, coyotes, scorpions--who knows what else! What do the cowboys do when one of the cows runs off? They go and rope 'em and bring 'em back to the herd. That's what your teacher is trying to do, she is trying to protect you and keep you safe and teach you how to be independent. Now go and be a good cow.

Tony said, "I don't get it."

Where Have I Been?

In the Philippines with my wife! We had a family wedding to attend so we saved up our money and hit the road--or the air--whatever. Anyway, I have many stories to tell, but just one today.

The town where my family lives is in Dumaguete in Negros Oriental on the Island of Negros in the Philippines. In the town is Silliman University and the it has a school for all ages--starting in elementary! (I might just have to move there to teach for a few years.) The school is the best in the country for learning English, so most of the people in the town speak it pretty well--which worked out great for me!

One day my wife, brother-in-law and I were walking past the elementary school just as it was letting out. Of course, I was pretty much the only white guy in the town so I was used to all the kids freaking out when they saw me walking around, however I was surprised when one of the little Philippino kids started talking to me. She looked to be in about 2nd grade:

LITTLE PENOY: Hello, sir, how are you?
ME: I am fine.
LITTLE PENOY: What is your name?
ME: I am Mr. Bowers, what is your name?
LITTLE PENOY: My name is Margarette, it's nice to meet you.
ME: Nice to meet you too!

So there I was, so impressed with this little kid speaking such fluent English, when my wife says to me, "You know her teacher probably tells the kids to practice their English whenever they see an American!"

Suddenly I had flashbacks of my 8th grade Spanish classes.

Wade

Wade is this really cool kid who I may never see again. I have known him and his two brothers and sister for two years now. His real dad is in prison and he lives with his mom and step dad. His step dad got arrested and now his mom can't afford to pay the rent. She works at Wal-Mart and they just don't pay enough to cover a three bedroom apartment.

Wade wants to drive trucks when he grows up and he even has this card collection of truckers and their rigs (like baseball cards). He keeps the cards in a binder and always has them with him. He says that he is going to be a good father some day because he has learned from all the mistakes of his two previous fathers. Most of all, he says that he is never gonna drink beer.

Lines of Symmetry

I did a cool lesson on symmetry in summer school last week. I put a long tape line in the middle of the room and divided the kids up into two groups. One group would make a disign with their bodies on one side of the taped line and then the other group would have to create the same design on their side of the line. I would then take a picture of the kids using a digital camera and show it to them so they could see if the pictrure that they created had symmetry. It was a big hit with the kids and I think they actually learned what symmetry was.

Magnet

Today is my first day of summer school. This new kid walks up with his mom and she is telling me at the door what a bad kid he is. I quickly get him as far away from his mom as possible.

The funny thing is, the kid is not so bad. He does good work. He makes a few jokes. He seems intelligent. Then lunchtime rolls around. He has somehow pinpointed the group of kids who ARE the "bad" ones in the class and is sitting with them! I couldn't believe it! He is like a magnet!

I told his mom after school--and the kid--that he's not as bad as she thinks he is. The problem is that he’s just not a good friend picker.

Summer School Blues

I'm only subbing in summer school this year. I kinda messed up during the application process for teaching summer school and ended up just getting a substitute position. I guess that's gonna be ok, because I will enjoy the days off.

I am a real chicken because I only signed up to sub at my own school which will be so much easier because I already know all of the kids. More importantly, the kids know me and they know that I don't play around when it comes to horsing around in class--at least THEY are not allowed to horse around! Hey, it's summer school!

Actually, I really do buckle down in summer school. I almost work more on self control with the kids than anything else. If the kids who are in danger of repeating are the same ones who are getting in trouble for not listening, then the problem is not always with their skills--just their control. My first day is this Friday. 2nd grade--my specialty!

Summer school is like an all-star game for the class clowns. You can have five class clowns all in the same room! I have to really go back to basics with some of them:

A couple of summers ago, I taught this one kid to actually raise his hand in class--a skill he didn't pick up in kinder or first grade.
I once taught a class of 2nd graders to walk in a straight line! I took 30 minutes, but we got it!
I will teach some of them to say the words, "Please don't do that, it bothers me."
The other kids will work on saying, "OK, I'm sorry."
Instead of hitting back, we will practice saying, "Hey! Why you hittin' me, huh?"

The Bad With the Good

Right after a good week of kids coming to the school with good news about how they are succeeding, the last visitor was kind of a downer.

Two fifth grade boys came by and delayed me from getting to my car on the last day of school, telling me some of the newest corniest things they had done in the past year at their new school. Luckily they delayed me just long enough for Desiree to come strolling up.

She is fresh off of failing the 7th grade. She looked pretty bad. Her eyebrows were all painted on and her hair was dyed and faded. She was happy so see me, but she seemed a little ashamed when she told me the news. I talked to her and her friend Kailyn (another former student still on the right path) for about 15 minutes and then took them to see their 4th grade teacher and get some encouragement from her.

From evertyhing she told me it has been a rough year and she says she is very regretful. I hope she means it. Her Dad's path and mine cross occasionally and he told me she was having a tough time, but I thought that meant that she was getting B's or something, she was a great student in elementary. Next time a parent tells me something like that, I will take them more seriously.

MJ's Dad

I would see MJ's dad up at the school quite a bit while his kids were here. His mom was always up here helping out as a valuable PTO member. His dad would be kinda cheking things out. He used to say, "If I was having a house built, I would check on things while they were building it. Making sure it had a solid foundation and everything. I am doing the same with my kids."

MJ

Today I heard that MJ mentioned me in his speach as Valedictorina of his 8th grade class of about 150 kids. I was blown away that MJ had earned that honor. As you know, I teach Drama, however, there was one year that I just taught 2nd grade. I had a class of my own. MJ was one of my favorites--and he was a mess at times.

He used to get so mad that he would turn into The Hulk! He hated it when he would lose his temper because he usually cried at some point during his rage. I told him one day, "MJ, if you get really mad and feel like you're gonna 'Hulk out' then you have permission to run out of the room and go hug the tree outside the classroom." See, my room was outside in one of the temporary buildings and I wanted him to release his anger on the tree instead of his classmates. He used the tree several times that year--usually because he didn't get a 100 on his spelling test.

He cried when he couldn't figure something out and felt like it was the end of the world. I remember the day we studied maps. I had him draw a map of a toy truck that he had, viewing it from above. He finally got it.

I taught him Drama in kinder, 1st, 3rd and 4th grade also so I was able to really watch him grow up. I went to several of his football games and taught both of his sisters. He has great parents--so friendly and they don't put up with any mess from any of their kids.

I know that he earned the Valedictorian title, because he was, without a doubt, the hardest working 2nd grader in my class.

They Don't Even Remember Space Jam

I was talking with some 4th graders about getting into a good book and enjoying reading when a Kindergarten kid name Owen walked by. I asked Owen to show the 4th graders how well he could read. He pulled out his book and started reading. One of the 4th graders (Shane) was very impressed with his reading skillzzz and asked him who his teacher was:

SHANE: Who is your teacher?
OWEN: Mrs. Johnson.
SHANE: Oh, I know this kid in there named Jordan. Do you know him?
OWEN: Oh yeah, Jordan's cool! He even has his name on his shoes!

(I about lost it. Shane did too, he got it immediately and we both bust out laughing.)

OWEN: No, really, his name is on his shoes right there (He points at his shoe).

Reza

Reza is this little guy in 3rd grade who thinks the world is against him. He is always on the defensive and getting into arguements and telling on other kids. Today we were practicing some songs for the end of year performances and he was sitting behind this really tall 3rd grade girl.

REZA: (in a very angry voice) Mr. Bowers, Mary is trying to block my view!
MR. BOWERS: No, Reza, GOD is blocking your view! He's the one who made Mary so tall!

Barbara is Smiling

So, I was talking with some of the other teachers and it just so happens that I am not the only one who has noticed a change with Barbara. Coach Reid said that he wanted her for the track team because she was the fastest girl in the school and she wouldn't be on the team. The Music teacher said that she was having trouble getting her to participate in class--she was refusing to play her recorder (remember those crazy flute thingies). We talked to her classroom teacher and found out that Barbara wasn't doing her homework and was not focusing in class.

We were talking about calling her mom and telling her all of our problems. I suggested we bombard Barbara with a meeting with just her and Coach Reid, the Art and Music teachers and myself. We did it. We told her how we all have noticed a change in her behavior and that we all knew that she could do better and that we all have known her since 2nd grade and that we thought she wasn't doing as well as she could. (How about that sentence!) She admitted that she needed to do better. We beat around the bush for a while and talked about ways she could improve.

The Music teacher thought that doing her homework on a regular basis would be a good place to start. I asked her if she thought she could improve on her own, or did she think she needed some help. She wanted help. We asked her if she wanted to talk to the counselor and she said that she did.

Turns out her Dad left the family recently. We checked in on her and she has been doing her homework and she has been trying harder in class. Barbara says that the best thing now is that her teacher is not getting on to her as much.

Drama Club DONE

Man! What a month! I have been trying to put up my latest Drama Club production. Tonight it happened! I am so worn out. The kids were great and the parents loved it. I wish we could do it again and again but the end of the year is so crazy and trying to get the stage is almost impossible.

The coolest part of the show was the food fight. Right when one of the kids yells out, "FOOD FIGHT!" I started playing some music from "The Matrix" and all the kids started throwing imaginary food. At the right moment in the song, all the actors switched to slow motion as a kid with a pie runs out on stage (in slo mo) and hits the Coach in the face with it! They really pulled it off.

My favorite line in the play (and I wrote the play--i had to, there were 26 girls and only 2 boys) is said by the main character, who is a bully, after she gets in trouble for starting the food fight:
"Sometimes I feel so bad for my mom because nothing ever goes her way. I guess I am afraid that nothing will ever go my way either."

I know, it's kinda sappy, but the girl (Avery) really pulled it off. She was a real star tonight!

I Smile Too Much

I have known Barbara (4th grade) for about three years. When she was in second grade, she wrote me a story and I praised her and let her read it to the class. She participates in my class and has always been a very good Drama student.

A few months ago her big brothers were picking her up to walk home with her and it was raining. I gave them my umbrella to use and told them to just let Barbara give it back tomorrow. The next day Barbara gave me the umbrella back and told me, "My brothers said that you are TOO nice." I asked her what they meant by that and she didn't know. I didn't think anything more about it.

Today we read an old poem, "The Spider and the Fly" by Mary Howitt. The poem is about a spider who tries to trick a fly by being nice to her and stuff like that. I told Barbara that that is probably what her brothers meant that day when I loaned her the umbrella. We started talking about it and I said, "Even though you know me, if I ever offered you a ride, you shouldn't accept it because you don't know me that well and I would have to have your parents permission." She said, "I wouldn't get in the car anyway because you smile too much. I don't trust you. I don't like how you are always smiling all the time. Why are you so happy?" I told her, "What do I have to be sad about? I had a pretty good childhood, I went to college, I have a job that I love, I have a beautiful wife--wait, I know why I smile so much--I don't have any kids!" The class laughed and we went on with the lesson.

After class, I asked her if that was how she really felt. She said yes. I told her honestly, "The reason I smile at people so much is because they usually smile back at me. When a person smiles back at me it makes me feel good about myself and it makes me feel accepted. I'm sorry that I make you feel uncomfortable.” She kinda grinned and I let her off the hook. I never thought smiling too much would be such a problem.