The Real Trailer Park

KATY (kindergarten):  We were playin' in the yard an this man in his pick-up truck goes speedin' through the trailer park an my daddy jumped in his truck and chased after him and tole him to slow down!

MR. BOWERS:  Where are you from?

KATY:  Port Arthur.

(This is kind of a locational story.  Those who know Port Arthur can understand and can also imagine the HEAVY southeast Texas accent spoken by KATY.) 

Da'General has been Da'Throned

Da'General has long been the best name ever here at my school. Now he has been replaced by a new kindergardener with the best name ever:

True St.Paul

He's gotta be a college football player someday!

(oops, I just found out that True has a brother: His name is Wisdom. Seriously.)

[Double oops, Champ just came into my class and guess who his little brother is?--and they have another brother named King]

Let's review: In this family, we have True, Champ, King and Wisdom. I gotta meet these parents.

Welcome to the Trailer Park

I moved rooms over the summer.  They stuck me out in the "temporary " buildings--which have been "temporary" for at least as long as I have been at this school(13 years).  I don't mind being out there--it's actually kinda nice because I am closer to the playground.  I don't think an explanation is necessary as to why being closer to the playground is better.  I like to climb.

Anyway, the other night we had our annual Ice Cream Social where parents and kids come up to the school and visit their new teachers and get all of the necessities for the new year.

We overheard a new parent say to her kid, "Oh, your classroom must be somewhere out there in one of those trailers." 

I am now trailer trash.  

Strange Mind

I got this in an Email from a friend:


fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs?

Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Teachers. GAH!

I get so aggravated at some of the "in-service" days. We have these meetings and so many of the teachers are horrible students. I mean they talk when the presenter is speaking, pass notes, text each other--everything they get on to their students about! Then they complain about everything! GAH! Then if food is being served, the teachers in the front of the line hoard all of the good stuff. They go and get dessert before they even sit down to eat their meal so they can get the blueberry cheesecake and leave me with the crummy store bought raisin bread!

Of course, I never do any of these things; I am perfect ;)

The kids return on Monday. Hooray! I am ready to be entertained!

Back to School

Well, I am back, but the kids still have a few more weeks off. It is always weird walking around this school empty. It's too quiet. I'm sure in a couple of weeks I will be longing for the silent hallways.

We have a new principal this year and he is about 28 years old! I have heard really good things about him, however, he made us get here on time the first day back--7:45. Our old principal would let us roll in around 8:30 on the first day. He also said "No more jeans." I guess he wants us to be all professional and stuff. He better not make me start wearing a tie!

Fluffy the Dog/Wolf

Hi Mr. Bowers, this is Lexie, I was at your school a LONG time ago...about 3 years ago I was in fourth grade and also in your awesome drama club that I will never forget. The play was called Kitten and Sugar Bear's playhouse...something like that, and in that play I was Fluffy the dog/wolf. It was THE MOST incredible feeling being in drama club...we got to do improves and all kinds of stuff...and last year somewhere near new years (2008) I was in another play Beauty and the Beast. I didn't have as big of a roll as I did in your play but it was still fun. And I'm about to be in another play at my school...Peter Pan...i get to fly because I'm playing the roll of Jane...Wendy's Daughter. It's going to be pretty fun I had to fill out an information sheet about all the plays Iv'e been in and dance classes...all that kind of stuff...but the one question I will always answer the same is "Who inspired you?" or "Who is your inspiration" and what I'll always say is my drama teacher Mr. Bowers, and that's the truth. So i just wanted to email youand see how youv'e been...but I'm sure your'e busy because we have about a month until school starts...but I surely hope youv'e had a great summer. I got your email from the school web page and just thought i'd drop by and ask how you are doing and hope you have a fantastic year! Wishing you well, Lexie

Class of '08

The kids that graduated high school this past year were in first grade when I started teaching so I decided to go to the ceremony and check it out. Out of the millions of kids at the graduation, about twenty of them were former students of mine and I got to talk to a few of them.

Lauren is going to Cornell University. Her dad died when she was in kindergarten at my school and they planted a tree in his honor and it it still there.

Travis is going to be an Aggie. He always was a knuckle head.

Adrianna is going to stay in town and attend the University of Houston. She was a kid that I also tutored in reading and really came a long way. She used to read me this book with a hedgehog in it and was so cute! She had this little lisp and would always crack me up with her pronunciation.


I hate it that I couldn't track down all of the kids at the graduation--but like I said--there were millions.

Next year will be my first kindergarteners graduating High School. I'm getting old.

Hunter

Hunter is a new kid we got this year from Louisianna. He's a scrawny little blond headed first grader with a little scar under one of his eyes and a look like a stray dog. When you see him, you just know he's up to something.

He was wearing a Saints jersey at school and talking all kinds of trash about the Texans at the beginning of the year because the Saints were undefeated. After a while the Saints started losing and he tried to abandon the team and switch to the Texans. Coach Reid told him, "Dude, you have to stand by your Saints! You can't switch teams, you have to be loyal. You gotta go put a bag over your head and root for the Saints."

We also found out that he is a big Astros fan. He can name every player in the field and his favorite is, of course, Hunter Pence.

If the Astros lose, he will come walking up to you in the morning with his arms out as if to indicate the loss was his fault, but he tried his best--I swear, you would think he played for the team.

His dad works in New Orleans and he lives here with his mom--but the parents are still together--I see his mom and dad together every time there is a school function.

I was just thinking about Hunter while watching the Astros game and seeing Hunter Pence strike out with the bases loaded. I thought, "Somewhere little Hunter is gettin all upset."

I just hope Hunter comes back to my school after the summer break.

Downtown Y

So, this summer I am taking a couple of fun workout classes at the Downtown YMCA--Body Pump and Body Combat--tons o' fun! There are no kids allowed at this particular Y but they are having summer camp, so there are kids, they are just out of sight--but not out of earshot. I was sitting in the lobby after a workout and could hear, off in the distance, some young counselor hollering at the kids trying to get them quiet. Better him than me. I wanted to go and get the kids quiet for him by walking in there pretending like I was listening to a strange sound and I needed everyone to listen with me. Instead I just smiled and continued to enjoy my summer.

I am also in a play! It's The Tamarie Cooper Show! Lots of singing and dancing. I get to be a dancing sperm! Woo Hoo!! http://www.thecatastrophictheatre.com/

Triplets' Moms' Birthday

I got a note from one of the Pre-K teachers. She has triplets in her room. On their birthday, I pulled off the magical feat of THREE quarters! Their mom was up at the school on her birthday and some craziness happened. Here's the letter:


HI Mr. B,

It was the triplets mom’s birthday, Dami told her, "You need to get the quarter out of your ear." Trey looked in her ear for the quarter. I thought it was cute.

Thanks Mrs. O'Brien


See, that's why I do the quarter trick!

Last Class!

I just had my last class of this year. I am NOT teaching summer school. I have many posts to catch up on--maybe this summer. I need a break! I didn't kill anyone this year! HOORAY!

Pre-K Poker

I had a Pre-K girl come to me the other day who had poked another kid with a pencil. I asked her to go to the office. She would not go. I asked her again. She would not go. I found another teacher in the hall and asked her to take the kid to the office. She would not go with the other teacher.

Now, I can't pick her up or drag her to the office and I was very frustrated and at a loss. I called the office to come and get her, but they were busy handling other situations at the time.

Finally the idea hit me, "Let's go for a walk--everyone line up!" They did--including the "poker". We walked down the stairs and around the courtyard and then past the library and by the cafeteria and then walked through the office and as we passed through the office--that's when they nabbed her!

Then the rest of the class and I went back to the room for our lesson. :)

The Wasted Time Can

I just have to share this. The Music Teacher at my school has a Wasted Time Can! It is the coolest thing. It is an old coffee can that is decorated and has its' name on it. Any time a kid is playing around with something in her class, she tells them to put it in the can.

She has had the can for about three years and the stuff in it is pretty random. It has rubber bands, toys of all kinds, necklaces, bracelets, keys--even a wheel from those tennis shoes with skates on the bottom.

The kids know about the can and always hate to put things in it--but they don't argue about it--they just know that is the consequence.

Yesterday one of the kids asked, "Do we get the stuff back at the end of the year?" Another kid shouted out, "No, she gives the stuff to all the good kids!"

Actually, the stuff just stays in the can--she still has stuff that she took from kids three years ago. I think she should give the stuff back when the kid gets to 5th grade.

When I was in 5th grade, my friend Alan and I were playing with some toy cars on the bathroom walls and we got sent to the principal to get licks! The principal also took the cars away and told us that we could get them back on the last day of school.

Sure enough, we went back at the end of the year and asked for them. He had no idea what we were talking about. I told him, "They are in that top drawer on the left." He pulled them out and was surprised. He couldn't even remember taking them away from us. I told him, "You even gave us licks!" Again, he was surprised.

A few years ago, I heard that he was elected mayor of the city where I grew up. I wouldn't have voted for him!

My New Step Dad's a Cowboy

So we get this new first grader at our school and she tells me she's from New York:

MR. BOWERS: Oh, you're from New York? Why did you move to Houston?
TYLER: My mom and dad got separated.
MR. BOWERS: Aww, so did my parents.
TYLER: But now I got a new step dad.
MR. BOWERS: Oh, really?
TYLER: Yep. He's a cowboy.
MR. BOWERS: Do you like him?
TYLER: Yeah, he's real nice. He hits my mom sometimes, though.
MR. BOWERS: Oh no! Why does he do that?
TYLER: Cowboys are like that.
MR. BOWERS: A real cowboy would never hit a girl. You should tell your mom, "Let's get outta here!" Does he ever hit you?
TYLER: No! He even protects me from my mom. Like when I get in trouble at school, he tells her not to be so mad at me.
MR. BOWERS: Well, if he ever decides to hit you, you and your mom better get away from him.

Motorbike

Jerry (5th grade) said, "I have a motor bike! See, I have a bike and I am the motor!"

Winfred

Winfred was in First grade when I started teaching Drama at this school. I had him all the way through fourth grade. Now he is a senior. Yesterday, I got this letter from his mother.


Good afternoon,

I have a praise report to share!!! Winfred was accepted to Babson College, a private college, in Massachusetts. Babson is the #1 Entrepreneurialship school in the nation, and a Top 10 Business School overall. Over 4000 Freshmen applied and they only accepted 400. This was an honorable accomplishment in and of itself. The problem was this private school wanted $48,000/yr. to go to their school. Mommy and Daddy said "Son, we cannot pay that kind of money for you to go to school. They will have to come with some serious financial aid." Winfred was determined to go. He and his dad went on the College Diversity Tour there and he fell in love with the school. He said knew he was going there and felt that God was going to make a way for him to go.

Well, I am just here to tell you that God has indeed made a way!!! He got his financial aid packet from them and they are offering him $45,681/yr. Mom and dad and family and friends will only have to pay $2586 for the year to go there and that includes tuition, housing and meal plan!!!! God is so good!! My child will be going off to Massachusetts to Babson College. I know I'll be crying soon but right now I am rejoicing over all that God has done. This is a testimony of my child's faith, he believed and trusted God and God rewarded his faithfulness!!!

Tiny Dancer Dances

Ok, so the Talent Show happened. It was a great experience and an awesome night for the performers and the audience. We had 60-something kids performing--not all solo--most of them in groups (It ended up being about 33 acts). Everyone did their best and performed the way they practiced. It wasn't a competition, rather a night of entertainment. The best choice I made was asking the kids to keep their acts close to one minute long!

We had it outside and we didn't think about lighting--except to light the performers--we had one spotlight. The audience was maybe a little too dark but it was great because someone was giving out those glow in the dark necklaces. At one point I got this cool feeling like when I was a kid and I was trick-or-treating and running around in the dark with my friends. I know it made for some great memories for the kids.

K'yhana (3rd grade) told me that after she sang and the audience cheered, it made her mother cry. Her mom told her that the audience sounded like a thousand lions roaring. Of course her song was "I Believe I can Fly".

I had these two boys audition--one could kinda play the guitar and the other could kinda dance. I made them be in a group together and made the dancer dress like a monkey! It went great!

We had three magicians, loads of singers and dancers, two kids doing monologues, a kid bouncing a tennis ball on his raquet 100 times in a row while the audience counted, a gymnast, some piano players, an electric guitarist playing the intro to "Brown Sugar" and ended the night with three boys performing as Alvin and the Chipmunks!

Even as I typed this one of the kids came into the room to ask if we are doing it again next year.

My favorite had to be Kathleen. She didn't get shy and change things up--she got on stage and danced like there's no tomorrow.

Moody

There is a girl in first grade and her last name is Moody. Yes, her name fits. At least once a month she gets very upset in Drama class because she gets shy when she isn't the best at whatever we are doing. If she makes a mistake, the tears start to flow.

I have talked to her several times, but today I had kind of a breakthrough. I kept her after class and I found out that when everyone looks at her, she gets real freaked out. When she makes a mistake, she feels like everyone is looking at her and making fun of her. We talked about it some more and hopefully she will get over her fears.

Of course, I then realized what will happen when she returns to class. I asked her, "Now, when you open the door to go back into the room, what are the kids going to do?" She replied, "Look at me." I asked her, "Do you know why they all look when the door opens?" "No," she said. I told her, "They look because they think it might be Santa Clause."

Umm, OK

The music teacher told me that this morning, Hayden (kindergarten) came sashaying across the cafeteria and said to her, "This summer I get to wear girl clothes."

Tiny Dancer

About seven years ago, I was invited over to a former students' house by her mother to help the kid with an audition for a performance high school. We worked on the piece and then I hung out with the family for a little while. The youngest of the family was Kathleen. She was about three or four at the time and was an entertainer. She danced the whole time I was there while her family laughed and applauded.

Fast forward to the present--Kathleen is now in the 4th grade. She is very shy.

She tried out for the talent show last week. She danced. It was B-O-R-I-N-G. No energy. Nothing.

Afterwards, I pulled her aside and reminded her of that time I came over to her house. (She remembered it--right down to the reason I was there--to help her sister with acting.) I reminded her of how much fun she would have while she was dancing for her family. I told her that she needs to bring that fun to the talent show.

Yesterday, she came to rehearsal and said that she was using a different song. I was like, "Cool, let's see it".

BLEW ME AWAY! She looked like a 10 year old Paula Abdul. She tore it up! All of the kids screamed when she finished. I was amazed. All I could say was, "WOW!"

The Jacket

Xavier just moved to our school with only a month and a half left. He is FULL of anger. His teacher said that when she tried to talk to his dad, HE was full of anger as well. I talked to Xavier and he told me that his little brother and sister spend every day at home tearing up all of his stuff--including his XBox. After he told me that, here's what I said to him:

Dude, I'll bet you can't wait 'till you grow up and get to move out of the house. You know, the ticket out of town is COLLEGE! You can't come to school with all this anger. You will never learn enough to get to college.

You know when you get to school on a cold day how you take off your jacket? Well, you need to take off your anger just like that. When you get out of the car in the morning and wallk into the school, I want you to take that anger off--just like a jacket.

Good Little Garbage Cans

I was having trouble getting some 2nd graders to respect their teacher:

You know when a garbage collector comes down the street, do you think he wants to see all of the cans kicked over and the trash spilled all over the street? NO!! He wants to see all of them nicely lined up for his truck with the lids closed and the trash all inside the cans.

When your teacher comes to school, she wants to see all of you in nice straight lines with your mouths closed or if you are talking, you should be saying nice things to each other--not spewing garbage all over the room by using ugly words!

Koby Almost Cursed

We were playing an april Fools game where one person stands behind the person who is "it" and says, "April fools" and the person who is "it" will try to guess who it was.

Well, Koby (3rd grade) was mad that someone guessed his voice and almost shouted out the twelve letter word that begins with M and ends in R. He actually got out the word "mother" before I stopped him. He was shocked that the word had even come that close to being said. I said to him, Koby I am ashamed that you would even think about saying that--especially at school! What would your mom do if she heard you say that?" Koby said, "She would turn me into a GHOST!"

Mr. Prince

There is this kid in 4th grade and his last name is Prince--he is anything but a prince. He is always in trouble. I got a note from him today:

Dear Mr. Bowers,
Thank you for being such a wonderful teacher this intire school year. You've tauht us some prettey fun, funny, and cool stuff. I also wan't to say thank you for helping me with my anger problems and my temper, I'm doing so much better now.

Sincerelly,
J.

P.S. Happy teaching!!!

I asked his classmates if he really was doing a better job, and they actually said that he was! We'll see how long it lasts. I hope it lasts a long time, he is a neat little guy.

April Fools 2008

I was ready this Year:

"Hey Mr. Bowers, what's that on your head!?"

MR. BOWERS: Oh, that's a spider. He always climbs up there on April fool's Day.

One kid did get me on the "Your shoe's untied" bit. My response..."Your breath stinks."

More Special Powers

It's that time of year again...that's right...it's time to find out what Jenni's Birthday wish will be! This year, she wishes to have thousands of imaginary friends. Don't worry, she says that she already has thousands of imaginary friends, but she wants thousands more! She wants a whole country of imaginary friends. By the way, last year's wish still hasn't come true, but we're not giving up!

Yummy!

Jaylen (PreK) said, "I can't stand green peas because they smell like diapers!"

OM

We had 4 Odyssey of the Mind teams this year. OM is a creative competition where kids have to put on plays and solve problems without the help of anyone outside the seven kids on the team--including any of the kids parents.

Zoe (5th grade) and her teamates were ready for the competition. However, for some reason, during the performance, their cardboard set kept falling down and this threw them off. The play was a catastrophe. After the show some of the kids were crying--they were so upset that they weren't going to make it to the state tournament.

Zoe saw all of her teammates’ whining and complaining and crying and she just said, "I don't care if we don't win, I had a blast building the sets and costumes and doing the play--this was awesome!"

Later that night at the awards ceremony, Zoe was the only member of her team that showed--and guess what? Her team won third place! I guess all the other teams in their division really blew! Zoe got to go up on stage and collect all seven medals for her team! Now they are on to the state tournament!

Hayden (Kindergartner) Said:

Somefing hit my heart yesterday and now it might be half bwoken.

A Kindergartener Heard Me POOT!

I looked at her. She looked at me. She said, "It wasn't me!" Everyone screamed!

ALLRIGHT--EVERYBODY FREEZE!!!!! Yes, it was me who pooted. I'm sorry. Right now I think the smell is behind me and I don't smell it yet. If everyone will just HOLD STILL I don't think the smell will move. If everyone starts moving around a breeze will start up and the smell will travel.

I still don't smell it, I think this is working. Does anyone smell it yet? (They are still holding still, but their little noses start wiggling) "No", they say. OK, then I think the smell is gone. Let's get back to work.

It's That Time

On February 14th, Jonathan came up to me and handed me this HUGE Snickers bar--which happens to be my favorite candy bar:

JONATHAN: Here Mr. Bowers, this is for your violence times.
MR. BOWERS: Huh?
JONATHAN: You know, for your violence times.
MR. BOWERS: Oh, you mean when I get mad at the kids, this will calm me down?
JONATHAN: No! You know, for violence times day--here is your violence times gift.
MR. BOWERS: Ohhh, Valentines--OK, thanks. Happy Violence Times Day to you Jonathan.

Bow to the Queen

Jada was being disrespectful to her teacher. I caught wind of the situation and decided to lend a hand:

Jada, I know you are a princess, right? I know that this is your kingdom and the rest of us are just living here, but you are forgetting one thing. You may be the princess, but your teacher is the Queen. No matter how big the princess gets, she still has to bow to the Queen. Whatever the Queen says, the princess does it. You got that?

Know Your Audience

Seiei is a third grader. His name is pronounced like "Say-Yay". He is from Korea and he has this innocence that comes across as immaturity--but his classmates love him and don't make fun of him at all. Even if they were to make fun of him, I don't think he would even know they were doing it.

Yesterday, we were creating scenes in Drama where kids were playing baseball and they break an old man’s window. In Seiei's group, he was playing the part of the "old man". They came to the part where his window got broken and he comes running out saying, "Whoever broke my window--I'm gonna hug and kiss you!"

At first I thought I misunderstood or something. Then he says, "If you break my window again, I’m gonna hug and kiss you!" Then he starts chasing the kids around the room like he is gonna do it! The kids were rolling with laughter.

When the scene finished, I decided to ask Seiei about what he said. I thought the other kids must have put him up to it. I said, "Seiei, why did you say that if they did it again, you were gonna hug and kiss them?" Seiei said, "It's because I wanted the scene to be funny."

He was right, it was funny.

True Dat

On the same weekend that the vandals broke into the school, the water pipes busted in one of the bathrooms and flooded the library, teacher workroom and a couple of classrooms. For the last couple of weeks, these rooms have been "out of order" as the repairs take place. In other words, the kids have not been to the library in quite a while.

So, the other day I was having a conversation with a new student:

MR. BOWERS: So, what do you think of our school so far?
KENYANIQUE: It's OK, my old school was better.
MR. BOWERS: Oh really? How was the Drama department at your school? Did you have a really cool Drama teacher?
KENYANIQUE: We didn't have Drama at our school.
MR. BOWERS: What? No Drama! How can your old school be better than this one if you didn't have Drama?
KENYANIQUE: You know, we just had better stuff, you know, like we had a better library and stuff.
MR. BOWERS: Hey, our school has a great library!
PERRY (who was eavesdropping): NOT NO MO WE DON'T!

The Writing Process

I was teaching the writing process to my 5th graders:


OK, like you know when I was in High School, I would sometimes write love letters. Before I would write, I would think about all the things I want to tell the girl. You know, how much I love her, how pretty she is and things like that. (pre-writing)

Then, I would pour out my soul onto the paper and tell her everything, you know, get it all out. (rough draft)

After I finished, I would go back and read it to myself and think about the girl and how she may react when she reads it. Then I would think, "Oh man, I can't say that, she'll think I’m crazy!" So, I would go back and change it up a little bit to make it better. (revising)

Then, you know, I didn't want her to think I was dumb, so I would go back and double check all of my punctuation, grammar, capitalization--stuff like that. I would make sure that I have crossed all of my t's and dotted all of my i's. Sometimes I would make the dots on the i's be like little hearts. (edit)

Now, I had the note just the way I wanted it, so I would get out a new sheet of paper and a really fancy pen and copy the letter in my best handwriting with no mistakes on it so the girl would think I was perfect. Maybe I would spray a little cologne on the paper to make it extra special. Then, I would present the letter to the girl! (publishing)

Next, I would watch as she would tear up the letter and yell at me to never speak to her again! (critic)

Vandals

We had a few vandals break into the school over MLK weekend. They got into a few classrooms and did some damage. Nothing was stolen but a few computers were ruined. My classroom looked like the Tasmanian devil had come through.

They dumped out six jigsaw puzzles, mixed in some crayons, markers papers, pencils, CD's, math manipulatives, books, etc.--all over the floor. Then I noticed that they tore up some of my teaching posters and a picture of my wife and I at the school Christmas party.

My first class of the day was 5th graders. They offered to help clean up the room and in about 30 minutes everything was back in its place--even the Christmas party picture. Some of the 5th grade girls had taped it back together!! HOW SWEET!! I told them that every time I look at the taped together picture I will not think of the ugly vandals who tore it, but of the beautiful children who helped me clean up my room!!! EVEN SWEETER!!!

To top things off, there was also a broken water pipe that left the library, copy/workroom and several classes flooded with water. Needless to say, our principal is not his usual jovial self--although he is handling everything like a champ.

There are rumors that the vandals were a few kids that were at our school last year and are now at a school close to here. I hope we find the real culprits, my wife wants to talk to them about the picture!

Bad Alarm Cock

The music teacher and I were doing "She'll Be Coming Around The Mountain" with the kindergarteners and we asked the kids why the song says that they will "kill the big fat rooster when she comes".

HANNAH: Because they are mad at the rooster cus he's annoying them and they want to sleep?

ADAM: So they can eat rooster meat?

(FYI: It's really so that they can "all have chicken and dumplins when she comes.")

Let's Go See A Giant Rat

I overheard a dad talking to his kindergarten daughter this morning as they were walking to class. His voice sounded a little like the famous rapper 50 Cent:

DAD: I'll tell you what...if you stay on "E" for the rest of this week...I'll take you to see Chucky Cheese on Friday...I promise...That's a PROMISE!

Cheese Cutter

SAM: James farted!
MR. BOWERS: Ok, well, that proves that he's not a robot.

Goals

I decided to teach the kids about goal setting:

MR. BOWERS: Let's say your goal is to stop hitting your little brother so much. Here's what you do: Keep track of how many times you hit your brother in a week. Let's say it's about twenty times a week. Well, the next week, you try just hitting him ten times and after you have hit him for the tenth time, you can't hit him again--no matter what! Then you lower it to five and so on. Eventually, you get down to hitting him only ONE time a week! That's when you will be using some good self-control because you will REALLY want to hit him but you might want to save it for something really bad.

REBECCA: But don't tell him he only gets one hit!!!

KIARRA: If I only hit him once this week, do I get to hit him twice the next week?!!

Too Much Christmas Pie

On the first day back from the holiday I was so happy to see the kindergarteners coming to my class:

MR. BOWERS: Hey you guys i am so happy to see you! Did you miss me?
CIENNA: You got bigger!

Ew!

Jonathan(kindergarten) is wandering around the cafeteria with a napkin, looking at the floor during breakfast:

MR.BOWERS: Hey, Jonathan, go sit down.
JONATHAN: I'm looking for my snot. I sneezed.

Teegerstrom's Crib

The 5th graders were working on adjectives and I came up with a game that I call "Imaginary Cribs" styled after the MTV program where celebrities show off their houses. In my game the kids have to get up and describe their bedroom--and act like they are in their actual bedroom-- using as many adjectives as they can and as they walk around, they can't bump into anything that they have put into the empty space.

After we finished, I told them that next time we will play the game where they can make up a fictional "crib" and tell us all about it. Here's what Teegerstrom had to say about that:

TEEGERSTROM: We get to tell about our imaginary house?! YAY! I'm going to tell about my wizard temple!


No one in the class was the least bit surprised--including me. That's how Teegerstrom rolls.

Like a Dog

MR. BOWERS: Hey Jorge, why are you yelling at Trevion?! What's going on?
JORGE: It's because he was yelling at me first!
MR. BOWERS: When someone is yelling at you, you don't just yell back! You have to try to figure out why they are so mad and make sure that they aren't mad at you. They could just be mad at something else. If a dog was angry and barking at you would you just start barking back at him? NO! If a dog is angry, you start trying to calm the dog down so you don't get bit--or get away from him. Next time, treat him like a dog!

The Double Apostrophe

We have had many children with an apostrophe in their names in the last few years. De'Mandre, K'yhana, Andra'Nique and even Ja'Kayla and Je'quaylin.

Now, for the first time ever at our school, we have the double apostrophy: Rae'Aja'Nique!

I think that is Aw'some!

The Bus Ride Home

The city bus is a little different on the way home. Yesterday, I was at the bus stop and I was on the phone with the mechanic--he was right in the middle of explaining the $1000 repair he had done to my wife's truck--when the bus rolled up and I got on.

"MR. BOWERS! MR. BOWERS"

The bus had just come from the middle school that some of my former students feed into. The bus was so loud--like a school bus--but with adults in long faces mixed in. The bus driver just ignored all the screaming kids. It was one of the wildest things I have seen in a long time.

At least now Karina's truck is fixed and I can once again drive to school. Oh yeah, as I was waiting for the bus, my principal drove past and gave me the "thumbs up" as if I was being a good cicizen and trying to save the planet.

The Crack

I was walking past John Paul's first grade class today while they were in P.E. and he was sitting there on the ground with his pants down so far that his crack was showing. I asked him, "Hey, John Paul, are you going to be a plumber when you grow up?"

Without hesitation, John Paul jumped up and started pulling up his pants and said, "Ok, ok." I asked, "Why are you pulling up your pants?" His reply, "It's because plumbers wear their pants down low."

So do rappers. I guess he's heard that one before.

The Bus

This morning I rode the bus to school because my wife's car was at the mechanic. I fell asleep on the bus and missed my stop. I decided to use this opportunity to teach the kindergarterers a lesson on problem solving:


MR. BOWERS: This morning I fell asleep on the bus and I missed my stop. I was far away from my school. How could I solve this problem?

NICHOLAS: You could have not falled asleep on the bus.


ANSWER--I got off the bus and called Coach Reed to come pick me up!

5th Grade Campout

This is my first year to teach 5th graders. Apparently our school district has a 5th grade campout every year where the kids spend a week out at a lake learning about stuff (I'll find out what they learned when they get back). Our principal went out there to visit them yesterday and the counselor told him that our kids were the most respectful and polite kids he has ever had! I guess we're doing something right!