Deflated

Apparently, I haven't straightened my classroom in a while because Eliel (pronounced ee-lee-el) discovered some half deflated balloons in the corner behind the computer.

ELIEL: Hey Mr. Bowers, why do you have all these dead balloons here?

That's Legal

In my Drama class, the 5th graders were acting out solo improv's where I give them a situation with an obstacle and they have to act their way through the obstacle.

For example, they come home from school and have to use the restroom very bad, but when they get to the door, they realize they forgot their key.

I tell the boys that, no, they can't just urinate on the ground--that's against the law in the city.

Some went to a neighbor's house, some climbed through a window, others broke down the door.

Floyd explains his scene thus:

"See, what I did was, I lit a match and set the grass on fire, then I pee'd on the grass to put out the fire, then when the cops came, I was innocent!"

Ninjas in Training

I found this on the ground at school. I find these all over the place. One year, a kid made a bunch of them to sell. The interesting thing about this one is that the paper used to make it is obviously something that the science teacher gave them to study. I'm sure the science teacher didn't teach the kids how to make these in class.

Groundhog Day Pix

I took this one after school. I love how he is soooo excited about his groundhog--not really.

Read The Box

I was talking to the First Grade ESL (English as a Second Language) class about ways to become a better reader:

MR. BOWERS: When I was a kid I would read the back of the cereal box in the morning when I ate my cereal. You know, there are usually games and stuff on the back of the box. Celeste, do you eat cereal for breakfast?
CELESTE: Jes. (This is how she says, "yes")
MR. BOWERS: Ok, so what kind of cereal do you eat?
CELESTE: Uhh...umm...
MR. BOWERS: Come on, what is is? Fruity Pebbles?
CELESTE: Um, no.
MR. BOWERS: Ok, then what? Frosted Flakes? Honey Bunches of Oats?
CELESTE: No.
MR. BOWERS: What is it? Come on, you remember, don't you?
CELESTE: It's dee...dee...de Crunch of de Captain!

Fixin' A Kindergarteners' Cut Finger...

...is tough. It's like trying to put a band-aid on a pencil.

Video Games Much?

The Music teacher asked our 3rd graders, "What is a 'round'?" Joey answers, in all seriousness, like he is giving all of us the correct answer, "A bullet."

Half Eaten Biscuit

I was visititg this year's new kindergarten teachers' classroom and discovered a napkin with a half-eaten sausage biscuit wrapped up in it. I held it up and asked, "Who left this here? We're not supposed to take food from the cafeteria." Tyler spoke up, "But I forgot to bring a snack today." :(

The new kindergarten teacher got a ziplock bag for him to put his biscuit in for snack time.

She's doing a good job!

Cutest Turd Ever

Ok, so, I'm walking past the 1st graders' restrooms, and the most awful smell ever is filling the entire hallway. I think, "That has to be coming from the boys restroom--one of these little 1st graders must have forgotten to flush."

I walk into the restroom and am greeted by a tiny little turd-let on the floor. I investigate further and find that one of the toilets has poo all over it and is filled with toilet paper as if someone was trying to clean up their mess.

I then realize that the small "gift" left on the floor is only a portion of the mess and that the entire floor has tracks of poo on it from where kids have been walking in it AND the tracks have spread out into the first grade hallway--which is why the smell was so powerful.


How are the restrooms at your workplace?

Two Conversations With Jenaya Today

Jenaya was here in kinder, then moved away. All I remember of her is a blur. She was a little ball and never sat still--and she liked to fight with teachers (verbally, of course.)

Now she is in 3rd grade. She's REAL calm. I ran into her this morning:

JENAYA: Mr. Bowers, you like my purse?

It's very stylish and fun looking, black and white with a long strap.

MR. BOWERS: Oh, yeah, that's cool, I like that.
JENAYAH: I got it from my grandma. She just died. Yeah, I've had about 12 people in my family die just now. My uncle, my grandma, uhh, this other man...i think he was related...
MR. BOWERS: Oh, my goodness, I'm sorry...well, you sure have a lot of people waiting for you up there in heaven...you'd better be good and make sure you get there!


Then I see her again this afternoon:

JENAYA: Whew, my medicine makes me sleepy.
MR. BOWERS: Oh, do you take some medicine to help you behave at school?
JENAYA: Yeah.
MR. BOWERS: Oh, haha, I bet you got in a lot of trouble at your other school after you left our school, didn't you?
JENAYA: (with a huge grin) Yeah.
MR. BOWERS: Well, do you think the medicine is working?
JENAYA: Oh, yeah, I never get in trouble.
MR. BOWERS: Does it keep you focused in school?
JENAYA: Yeah.
MR. BOWERS: Well, you seem to be doing a good job, keep it up.

work samples

Little Mr. Bowers

Guess which one's me?

The Tooth That Got Lost Twice

Coach Reid and I were teaching some Pre-K kids when suddenly Connie starts screaming. We go over to her and her mouth is bleeding and there is a fresh hole where a tooth used to be.

We both were so excited for her that we kind of ignored the fact that she was crying. We were saying things like, "Oh boy, you lost your tooth...now the tooth fairy will come...is this your first tooth?...did you pull it out yourself?..." I drug her over to the mirror so she could see the hole in her mouth--but this made her cry more.

She didn't seem to know how her tooth came out and in fact, she didn't even know where the tooth was. We looked in her mouth and couldn't see it anywhere. I thought she had swallowed it or something, then finally one of the other kids found it on the floor. It was the tiniest tooth ever!

Finding her tooth helped her stop crying so we sent her to the nurse. The nurse at our school gives the kids a necklace with a little container on it—shaped like a tooth--to keep the lost tooth in. Connie came back to class smiling with her new necklace.

I saw her the next day and she said that she got $2 from the Tooth Fairy. Man, prices keep going up and up for these kids’ teeth!

Unclear on the Concept

I was talking to a student about the gifts she got for Christmas on the day we returned from winter break. Phillip walked up on the conversation:

PHILLIP: (Smiling as usual) I didn't get to celebrate Christmas.
MR. BOWERS: What? I thought you said your mom was a Christian.
PHILLIP: She is.
MR. BOWERS: Well, did y'all go to church on Christmas day?
PHILLIP: Yes.
MR. BOWERS: Well, then you celebrated Christmas.

Jake

Jake is my next door neighbor's kid. He's in 1st grade. His aunt and uncle gave him coal in his stocking for Christmas as a joke--but the joke was on them when he saw it. He said, "Ohhh, just what I wanted to start fires and stuff!"

The REAL Snow Day Video

What a difference a song makes. Now the Music teacher edited her snow day video to fit the trailer park.

The Magic Mirror

I got a mirror from the Pre-K teacher to put in my room. It is made from safety glass so the reflection is a little skewed. Most of the time, the mirror can make you look skinnier that you actually are. Now teachers from all over campus are lining up to see themselves in it.

High Speed Chase

Today, just before the dismissal bell, we had a high-speed police chase go through our school zone! There was a black car followed by three police cruisers with their sirens blaring and lights flashing. I would say they were all going at least 50 mph. Luckily, they missed the school bell by about three minutes. It could have been ugly if all the kids were out there crossing the street.

I saw it and it scared me so much--my heart is still pounding. Although, the little boy in me says, "That was pretty sweet."

Never Seen Snow

Here in Houston, we don't get much snow. Some of the little kids at our school have NEVER seen snow. You can tell by this video that our music teacher made on the day it snowed. The video starts right outside my door out here in the "trailer park."

Here's the video!

Warning:

Do not read this if you are squeamish.

With the 5th graders we were doing a musical called, "Yo Leonardo". Brijanna was on stage getting ready to do her part and I was next to her, but in the off-stage wings. She turned to me and said, with a grumpy face, "Mr. Bowers, my stomach hurts." I responded, "Well, do you want the audience to know that? Get it together!"

At that moment, I realized by the look on her face that there was more than a stomach ache happening here. She starts to throw up. She tries to catch it in her hands. It spews. I call her off stage. She comes to me holding a handful of pineapple bits. The show continues with the rest of her barf on stage. Everyone dances around the barf. The janitor says that she is too shy to go onstage during the show and sprinkle the magic disappearing puke powder on the barf, so I got to be the one to do it. I get a laugh from the audience.

The show must go on!

Too Exciting

Last week, with kindergarten, I used the puppets to tell the story of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. I guess it was too exciting because one of the boys wet himself. This week I used the puppets to tell the story of the Three Pigs and a little girl wet herself. I take it as a compliment. I'm just too exciting. I have one more set of puppets that I can use to tell the story of the Three Bears. I'm gonna make sure they have all gone to the restroom before I tell the story.

UIL One Act Play Festival at HSPVA

High School For The Performing and Visual Arts hosted it. Writen and Directed by Mr. Bowers:

The Stone Cutter

Two New Brothers

CHRISTINE (kindergarten): Mr. Bowers, look, I got two new brothers!

I look and see that both of her big brothers have their heads completely shaven!

MR. BOWERS: Who cut your two brother's hair?
CHRISTINE: My dad.
MR. BOWERS: Were they in trouble or something?

Keyden the Salesman

So today, I went next door to the Music room to check on Keyden and the whole class was up in arms because Keyden brought a bunch of bags of chips and was trying to sell them! He was mad and saying that he didn't need any friends and that he hated his class. I tried to talk to him, but he was too upset.

After school, I met his older sister and talked to her about all that had gone on. She said she would talk to him and try to figure it out. (sigh).

Keyden-2nd Grade

The 2nd grade class came into my room bearing a new student--Keyden--and before I could even get to him to shake his hand, several of his new classmates were shouting out about how bad he is and what he has done to them over the past two days. I'm totally ignoring them trying to get past. I finally reached him and asked for a handshake:

MR. BOWERS: Hey, I'm Mr. Bowers...come on in, give me a good handshake. (He doesn't squeeze at all.) Alright, now squeeze. (Gives a little squeeze.) Come on, now, you don't want me to think you're a weak little kid, you want to tell me that you're a strong CHILD. (now he really squeezes and we have exchanged an awesome handshake.) What's your name?
KEYDEN: Keyden.

We all come in and sit down, his classmates are now raising their hands, again, trying to tell me how bad he is. I am still ignoring what they are saying. Keyden is just sitting there ignoring them as well, we keep talking:

MR. BOWERS: What school did you come from?
KEYDEN: Piney Point.
MR. BOWERS: Do they have a Drama Class at your old school?
KEYDEN: No.
MR. BOWERS: Well, here we have Drama, Music, Art, Computer, Science, Library, P.E. and Math Lab. Can you believe it! You're gonna love it here.

The kids are still trying desperately to get my attention.

MR. BOWERS: Aren't they bothering you? Have you ever been bothered? You know, like do you have a little brother that bothers you or anything like that?
KEYDEN: My little brother died.

Now all of the kids are, of course, silent.

MR. BOWERS: I am so sorry. Y'all, aren't you sorry that happened to Keyden?

The kids all offer their own apologies, then we quietly move on with the lesson. Keyden participated and was a really nice kid. At the end of class, I asked him if he wanted the class to give him a new start, he did. I asked for it and they all graciously agreed. I talked to his teacher and he said that he has been fine for him and in fact thought the rest of the class had been a little rough on Keyden.

They come to Music next door tomorrow and I can't wait to see how it's going. Those crazy 2nd graders--they are right in a stage of their lives that allow them to be really, really sweet to each other and really, really mean.

No Halloween

Phillip is in 5th grade and is on patrol at my morning duty spot in the back courtyard. He already confessed to me that he has only eaten at McDonald's once because his mom is a health nut. He smiles ALL THE TIME, even during this conversation Monday morning:)

PHILLIP: I haven't ever been Trick-or-treating.
MR. BOWERS: Why not?
PHILLIP: My mom's reeeal :) Christian. She says it's the Devil's birthday. :)
MR. BOWERS: What about your dad?
PHILLIP: He doesn't care, he's always on the computer. :)
MR. BOWERS: You need to convince your parents to take you to the store the day after Halloween when the candy's cheap and let you have at it. :) (Then I remembered about the "only eating at McDonald's once" thing) Or not.
PHILLIP: :(

When the kids start asking me if I'm going "trigger-treating" I always tell them, "Yes." Then they usually tell me I'm too old, to which I ALWAYS say, "You're never too old for free candy."

The Old Man

I was talking to my dad a while back...

MR. BOWERS: Hey, Dad, remember when I was little, you would tell me that I would get a whoopin' if I got anything less than a "C" on my report card? Why didn't you tell me I would get a whoopin' for anything less than an "A"? Think how much smarter I would have been!

MR. BOWERS' DAD: Well, then you would've been smarter than me!

You're Eating Your Shirt?

One of the Pre-K kids was walking into my drama class and his sleeve was soaked all the way to his elbow from him chewing on it all day.

I said to him, "Oh, you're eating your shirt? Hold on a minute..." Then I ran inside and grabbed the lemon pepper seasoning that I put on salads and came back out and sprinkled some on his sleeve, "...here you go"

He just looked at me with thanks in his eyes and ran into the room.

Then Coach Reid, who was standing by my door, says, "I don't know how you keep from getting fired."

Jack-O-What?

We were doing the "5 Little Pumpkins" song with the Pre-Kinder kids and the Music teacher asked, "What would you call pumpkin that has a face carved in it?" One of the Pre-K kids shouted out, "A pumpkin basket!" Another corrected him, "No, a Halloween basket!"

SLOW DOWN!

It's a sidewalk--not a siderun.


STOP CLIMBING ON THE PORCH RAILING!

If the principal sees you, he's gonna tear down the playground! He'll be like, "Saaay, the kids really love climbing on the rails...we should tear down that useless playground and build a parking lot!"

STOP SWINGING ON THE POLE!

If you wanna swing on the poles, you have to come up here on Saturday or Sunday--that is if you can get a pole, there's so many kids up here swinging on the poles on Saturday and Sunday--you should see it!


That's life out here in the trailer park.

Mom of the Year

After school today...

JESSICA (2nd grade): Mr. Bowers, my mom and dad said that they are gonna sell Lilly (kindergarten sister).
MR. BOWERS: Why's that?
JESSICA: Because she's not being good in school.

Mom walks up right on cue.

MR. BOWERS: Hey, I hear that you're gonna sell Lilly.
MOM: That's right!

Scenes From the Past

OK, so, this one's kinda sad.

With the 5th graders, I am working on emotions. First, I share with the kids an emotional experience from my childhood, and then I call for volunteers to come up and re-create the scene. It's nothing too serious, just a moment of embarrassment or something. Then, I ask for volunteers to share their stories and get kids to recreate the scene while they direct.

Oscar recalled the time when his grandpa woke up in the middle of the night coughing and ended up dying right there in front of him and his dad. I didn't want to have him use that as a scene, but he insisted. He said it happened a long time ago--even before his little sister was born. She is 5 years old now, so, at least 5 years ago.

Jones, Izar and Laura played in the scene as grandpa, dad and little Oscar. They worked so well with Oscar as the director, they really acted their parts with tenderness and seriousness--it was a beautiful scene. I encouraged Oscar to write down the scene and maybe make a play out of it.

All this before 10am. Heavy.

Perla

Perla was in 3rd grade when I started teaching. Now she is in college at Sam Houston State in Huntsville, TX.

She came back to see us and I recognized her immediately. She's making us all proud and becoming a U.S. Marshall! I hope I never see her again--unless she's coming to rescue me or something.

I'm Not Mad

I get really bothered when I am teaching something and kids won't stop talking and listen! Finally, I just had to say, "I'm not mad at the kids who are talking while I am teaching, I'm mad at the kids who are listening to those talkers instead of me! If someone tries to talk to you while I am teaching, just shake your head, no, and point to me to show them where they should be focusing."

Trust

With the first grade, I was doing a trust activity where one student leads another around the classroom and the one being led has to keep their eyes closed. Right in the middle of the activity, Aaron comes up to me shouting, "Mr. Bowers, Mr. Bowers!"

I notice Aaron is by himself so I ring the bell to stop the activity and I notice his partner across the room, just about to run into the wall! I say, "Aaron! Where is your partner? You are NOT showing responsibility! You have lost the TRUST of your partner! Now, what is it that you wanted to tell me?" Aaron said, "I think my partner is peeking."

But Why?

Because every other child you see has NEVER BEEN an adult. However, EVERY adult you see has once been a child. They all made it through childhood--they all survived.

If I am traveling to the jungle, I want to talk to someone who has been through the jungle. I want to know which snakes are poisonous, what to bring, how to climb...the adults in your life are helping you get ready for your trip to being an adult.

That's why you must respect adults.

First Grade Rhyme

H is for hippo, who is so big and FAT if one should ever sit on you, he would squish you____?

VICTOR: Like a tortilla?

Kinder Jokester

I learned the name of the kindergarten girl who told the pirate joke the other day. Here's how I found out:

"Most people with my name spell it S-o-p-h-i-e, but my parents figured out a better way to spell it; S-o-f-i-e."

Then, later, I was telling the kids that they could impress their parents by saying "perspire" instead of "sweat." To this, Sofie replied:

"That won't impress my parents, my dad screams like a college girl when he sees a spider!"

Magic Box

Each year with the kindergarteners I do a Drama game called "Magic Box." I take an ordinary box and pretend to pull something from it and act if it is real, by using pantomime. The kids each get to take a turn and they love it.

Today, we had just finished the game and the kids were lining up to leave. It was raining outside and I was telling the kids to stay on the sidewalk and listen to the raindrops as they walked. Angel was the last one to walk out, and as he passed the magic box, he reached in and pulled out an imaginary umbrella and opened it up. I about lost it, it was the cutest thing EVER!

Kinder Pirate Joke

You know, I haven't learned all the kindergartners' names yet, but one of the girls told us a joke today:

Q: Where does a pirate like to eat?
A: Aaarrrrby's

The New Walk

We were doing our warm-ups in Drama class today. The particular stretch has you touching your left hand to your right toe, out in front of your body, then your right hand to your left toe, out in front of your body. I decided to make it look like i was walking in place. Here's what spilled out of my mouth:

If you feel like a stranger is watching you walk home, then walk like this and the stranger will leave you alone because you'll be stranger than a stranger!

I Vow...

...to stop complaining about all of the changes that have occurred at my school. Although I haven't complained publicly--with my co-workers, I feel I have been kinda vocal. Not the loud complaints, but the subtle, comedic type. Sure, they crack people up, but I've realized that they could be kinda like a cancer to my school.

Since I teach all of the kids, I know all of the teachers. By pointing out the problems that I have with the changes, I think many of the other teachers are getting lower spirits as well.

I think that if I accept the changes and keep a positive attitude like I usually do, I can save the school!

I vow no be 100% positive at school and work hard!

(either that, or I vow to accept that it's not all about me.) ;)

((although I will secretly know that it is.))

Who is Your Sister?

Melanie, a brand new kindergartener in Drama, said to me, "My sister was right, you ARE crazy!"

Sniff It

I was talking to the kindergarteners about their 5 senses:

MR. BOWERS: Your senses can help you be safe. You know, so like when you SEE a glass with something in it that LOOKS like water, or soda, you shouldn't just drink it--you should SMELL it first and make sure it's safe. You know, it could be something *dangerous.
RAMAN: Like a "dult-drink!"


*My older brother drank gasoline out of a coke bottle when he was 3. He survived, but his brain doesn't work right--at least in my opinion. ;)

Medicine

I was talking to Chinoso (5th grade) after school today.

CHINOSO: Man, I'm worried about Mr. Kemp, he used to be in the military, I'll bet he's gonna be tough!
MR. BOWERS: Well, just think about going to his class like taking medicine, it'll make you stronger.
CHINOSO: Mr. Bowers, isn't that steroids?

Kindergarten Advice

One of the PE teachers at our school is switching to teach Kindergarten this year. I stopped by to offer some advice:

When you tell the kids to come in the room, tell them to "sneak up on their chairs" and they will enter quietly.

Remember, you are not the teacher, you're just the kid who gets to be in charge.

Try to act extra excited about stuff, like, you know, if you want them to pick up a piece of trash, you can say, "Wow! That is a really cool piece of trash! Who wants to be the one to pick it up?"

I Vanish

Many times a kid trying to tattle will come up to me and say, "Mr. Bowers, he was doing..." and when they get to the word "he" they turn away from me and point to the other kid across the room and I never hear the rest of what "he" did. I will ask them to tell me again, and the same thing happens! I never get to find out what the other kid did. Finally, I came up with a solution to this problem:

As soon as the kid turns away from me to point, I will sneak off and hide. Then I will watch the look on the kids face as he turns back around and discovers that Mr. Bowers has disappeared!

Almost Back

MRS. BOWERS: I've got that "mini-buffalo-ranch-chicken-sandwich" song stuck in my head.

MR. BOWERS: Hey, that's better than having the "mini-buffalo-ranch-chicken-sandwich" DANCE stuck in your body!


My wife has had to put up with these kind of wise cracks all summer. I realize that, no matter how much I want summer to continue, there are millions of parents and spouses that can't wait for it to end. I really have enjoyed my time away from kids. I was able to cuss, spit, wear flip-flops and tank tops. I am refreshed, my tolerance is back up and I am ready to get back to teaching.

Oh, wait...i still have to build up my bladder endurance.

Oh yeah, if you're in Houston, come check out the show I'm in, but leave the kids at home! It open tonight and runs through August 29th.

The King of Radio

The Summer when Michael Jackson toured the Thriller album( i think), my older brother Paul and I were in the middle of the Texas Panhandle working our Dad's farm. We played this game where every time we started the truck we would try to guess the song that was going to be playing on the radio.

We decided to change the rules of the game. Now we had to guess which Michael Jackson song would be playing when we started the truck. It's kinda like that, now.

I don't mind a bit...although I am sad it had to be because of his passing.



Stevie Wonder: “We need Michael here with us, God must have needed him more.”

Dadism

dadism: (dad-ism) something my dad used to say when i was a kid.



Usually, my dad would refer to any type of sport as, "squat tag". He would say things like, "Did you have that, uh, squat tag practice today?" or, "What are you watchin? Squat tag?"

I just found out that squat tag, besides being a kids* game, is also slang for going out in the woods to use the bathroom.

I get it now!

That's pretty funny, Dad!


*Squat Tag-There are many, many tag games in existence. One of the more popular ones is Squat Tag. In this game, children can avoid being tagged by squatting whenever "IT" is about to pounce. Each child is allowed only three squats. After using up the three squats, the child must depend on his/her running and dodging ability to escape.