Jake

Jake is my next door neighbor's kid. He's in 1st grade. His aunt and uncle gave him coal in his stocking for Christmas as a joke--but the joke was on them when he saw it. He said, "Ohhh, just what I wanted to start fires and stuff!"

The REAL Snow Day Video

What a difference a song makes. Now the Music teacher edited her snow day video to fit the trailer park.

The Magic Mirror

I got a mirror from the Pre-K teacher to put in my room. It is made from safety glass so the reflection is a little skewed. Most of the time, the mirror can make you look skinnier that you actually are. Now teachers from all over campus are lining up to see themselves in it.

High Speed Chase

Today, just before the dismissal bell, we had a high-speed police chase go through our school zone! There was a black car followed by three police cruisers with their sirens blaring and lights flashing. I would say they were all going at least 50 mph. Luckily, they missed the school bell by about three minutes. It could have been ugly if all the kids were out there crossing the street.

I saw it and it scared me so much--my heart is still pounding. Although, the little boy in me says, "That was pretty sweet."

Never Seen Snow

Here in Houston, we don't get much snow. Some of the little kids at our school have NEVER seen snow. You can tell by this video that our music teacher made on the day it snowed. The video starts right outside my door out here in the "trailer park."

Here's the video!

Warning:

Do not read this if you are squeamish.

With the 5th graders we were doing a musical called, "Yo Leonardo". Brijanna was on stage getting ready to do her part and I was next to her, but in the off-stage wings. She turned to me and said, with a grumpy face, "Mr. Bowers, my stomach hurts." I responded, "Well, do you want the audience to know that? Get it together!"

At that moment, I realized by the look on her face that there was more than a stomach ache happening here. She starts to throw up. She tries to catch it in her hands. It spews. I call her off stage. She comes to me holding a handful of pineapple bits. The show continues with the rest of her barf on stage. Everyone dances around the barf. The janitor says that she is too shy to go onstage during the show and sprinkle the magic disappearing puke powder on the barf, so I got to be the one to do it. I get a laugh from the audience.

The show must go on!

Too Exciting

Last week, with kindergarten, I used the puppets to tell the story of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. I guess it was too exciting because one of the boys wet himself. This week I used the puppets to tell the story of the Three Pigs and a little girl wet herself. I take it as a compliment. I'm just too exciting. I have one more set of puppets that I can use to tell the story of the Three Bears. I'm gonna make sure they have all gone to the restroom before I tell the story.

UIL One Act Play Festival at HSPVA

High School For The Performing and Visual Arts hosted it. Writen and Directed by Mr. Bowers:

The Stone Cutter

Two New Brothers

CHRISTINE (kindergarten): Mr. Bowers, look, I got two new brothers!

I look and see that both of her big brothers have their heads completely shaven!

MR. BOWERS: Who cut your two brother's hair?
CHRISTINE: My dad.
MR. BOWERS: Were they in trouble or something?

Keyden the Salesman

So today, I went next door to the Music room to check on Keyden and the whole class was up in arms because Keyden brought a bunch of bags of chips and was trying to sell them! He was mad and saying that he didn't need any friends and that he hated his class. I tried to talk to him, but he was too upset.

After school, I met his older sister and talked to her about all that had gone on. She said she would talk to him and try to figure it out. (sigh).

Keyden-2nd Grade

The 2nd grade class came into my room bearing a new student--Keyden--and before I could even get to him to shake his hand, several of his new classmates were shouting out about how bad he is and what he has done to them over the past two days. I'm totally ignoring them trying to get past. I finally reached him and asked for a handshake:

MR. BOWERS: Hey, I'm Mr. Bowers...come on in, give me a good handshake. (He doesn't squeeze at all.) Alright, now squeeze. (Gives a little squeeze.) Come on, now, you don't want me to think you're a weak little kid, you want to tell me that you're a strong CHILD. (now he really squeezes and we have exchanged an awesome handshake.) What's your name?
KEYDEN: Keyden.

We all come in and sit down, his classmates are now raising their hands, again, trying to tell me how bad he is. I am still ignoring what they are saying. Keyden is just sitting there ignoring them as well, we keep talking:

MR. BOWERS: What school did you come from?
KEYDEN: Piney Point.
MR. BOWERS: Do they have a Drama Class at your old school?
KEYDEN: No.
MR. BOWERS: Well, here we have Drama, Music, Art, Computer, Science, Library, P.E. and Math Lab. Can you believe it! You're gonna love it here.

The kids are still trying desperately to get my attention.

MR. BOWERS: Aren't they bothering you? Have you ever been bothered? You know, like do you have a little brother that bothers you or anything like that?
KEYDEN: My little brother died.

Now all of the kids are, of course, silent.

MR. BOWERS: I am so sorry. Y'all, aren't you sorry that happened to Keyden?

The kids all offer their own apologies, then we quietly move on with the lesson. Keyden participated and was a really nice kid. At the end of class, I asked him if he wanted the class to give him a new start, he did. I asked for it and they all graciously agreed. I talked to his teacher and he said that he has been fine for him and in fact thought the rest of the class had been a little rough on Keyden.

They come to Music next door tomorrow and I can't wait to see how it's going. Those crazy 2nd graders--they are right in a stage of their lives that allow them to be really, really sweet to each other and really, really mean.

No Halloween

Phillip is in 5th grade and is on patrol at my morning duty spot in the back courtyard. He already confessed to me that he has only eaten at McDonald's once because his mom is a health nut. He smiles ALL THE TIME, even during this conversation Monday morning:)

PHILLIP: I haven't ever been Trick-or-treating.
MR. BOWERS: Why not?
PHILLIP: My mom's reeeal :) Christian. She says it's the Devil's birthday. :)
MR. BOWERS: What about your dad?
PHILLIP: He doesn't care, he's always on the computer. :)
MR. BOWERS: You need to convince your parents to take you to the store the day after Halloween when the candy's cheap and let you have at it. :) (Then I remembered about the "only eating at McDonald's once" thing) Or not.
PHILLIP: :(

When the kids start asking me if I'm going "trigger-treating" I always tell them, "Yes." Then they usually tell me I'm too old, to which I ALWAYS say, "You're never too old for free candy."

The Old Man

I was talking to my dad a while back...

MR. BOWERS: Hey, Dad, remember when I was little, you would tell me that I would get a whoopin' if I got anything less than a "C" on my report card? Why didn't you tell me I would get a whoopin' for anything less than an "A"? Think how much smarter I would have been!

MR. BOWERS' DAD: Well, then you would've been smarter than me!

You're Eating Your Shirt?

One of the Pre-K kids was walking into my drama class and his sleeve was soaked all the way to his elbow from him chewing on it all day.

I said to him, "Oh, you're eating your shirt? Hold on a minute..." Then I ran inside and grabbed the lemon pepper seasoning that I put on salads and came back out and sprinkled some on his sleeve, "...here you go"

He just looked at me with thanks in his eyes and ran into the room.

Then Coach Reid, who was standing by my door, says, "I don't know how you keep from getting fired."

Jack-O-What?

We were doing the "5 Little Pumpkins" song with the Pre-Kinder kids and the Music teacher asked, "What would you call pumpkin that has a face carved in it?" One of the Pre-K kids shouted out, "A pumpkin basket!" Another corrected him, "No, a Halloween basket!"

SLOW DOWN!

It's a sidewalk--not a siderun.


STOP CLIMBING ON THE PORCH RAILING!

If the principal sees you, he's gonna tear down the playground! He'll be like, "Saaay, the kids really love climbing on the rails...we should tear down that useless playground and build a parking lot!"

STOP SWINGING ON THE POLE!

If you wanna swing on the poles, you have to come up here on Saturday or Sunday--that is if you can get a pole, there's so many kids up here swinging on the poles on Saturday and Sunday--you should see it!


That's life out here in the trailer park.

Mom of the Year

After school today...

JESSICA (2nd grade): Mr. Bowers, my mom and dad said that they are gonna sell Lilly (kindergarten sister).
MR. BOWERS: Why's that?
JESSICA: Because she's not being good in school.

Mom walks up right on cue.

MR. BOWERS: Hey, I hear that you're gonna sell Lilly.
MOM: That's right!

Scenes From the Past

OK, so, this one's kinda sad.

With the 5th graders, I am working on emotions. First, I share with the kids an emotional experience from my childhood, and then I call for volunteers to come up and re-create the scene. It's nothing too serious, just a moment of embarrassment or something. Then, I ask for volunteers to share their stories and get kids to recreate the scene while they direct.

Oscar recalled the time when his grandpa woke up in the middle of the night coughing and ended up dying right there in front of him and his dad. I didn't want to have him use that as a scene, but he insisted. He said it happened a long time ago--even before his little sister was born. She is 5 years old now, so, at least 5 years ago.

Jones, Izar and Laura played in the scene as grandpa, dad and little Oscar. They worked so well with Oscar as the director, they really acted their parts with tenderness and seriousness--it was a beautiful scene. I encouraged Oscar to write down the scene and maybe make a play out of it.

All this before 10am. Heavy.

Perla

Perla was in 3rd grade when I started teaching. Now she is in college at Sam Houston State in Huntsville, TX.

She came back to see us and I recognized her immediately. She's making us all proud and becoming a U.S. Marshall! I hope I never see her again--unless she's coming to rescue me or something.

I'm Not Mad

I get really bothered when I am teaching something and kids won't stop talking and listen! Finally, I just had to say, "I'm not mad at the kids who are talking while I am teaching, I'm mad at the kids who are listening to those talkers instead of me! If someone tries to talk to you while I am teaching, just shake your head, no, and point to me to show them where they should be focusing."

Trust

With the first grade, I was doing a trust activity where one student leads another around the classroom and the one being led has to keep their eyes closed. Right in the middle of the activity, Aaron comes up to me shouting, "Mr. Bowers, Mr. Bowers!"

I notice Aaron is by himself so I ring the bell to stop the activity and I notice his partner across the room, just about to run into the wall! I say, "Aaron! Where is your partner? You are NOT showing responsibility! You have lost the TRUST of your partner! Now, what is it that you wanted to tell me?" Aaron said, "I think my partner is peeking."

But Why?

Because every other child you see has NEVER BEEN an adult. However, EVERY adult you see has once been a child. They all made it through childhood--they all survived.

If I am traveling to the jungle, I want to talk to someone who has been through the jungle. I want to know which snakes are poisonous, what to bring, how to climb...the adults in your life are helping you get ready for your trip to being an adult.

That's why you must respect adults.

First Grade Rhyme

H is for hippo, who is so big and FAT if one should ever sit on you, he would squish you____?

VICTOR: Like a tortilla?

Kinder Jokester

I learned the name of the kindergarten girl who told the pirate joke the other day. Here's how I found out:

"Most people with my name spell it S-o-p-h-i-e, but my parents figured out a better way to spell it; S-o-f-i-e."

Then, later, I was telling the kids that they could impress their parents by saying "perspire" instead of "sweat." To this, Sofie replied:

"That won't impress my parents, my dad screams like a college girl when he sees a spider!"

Magic Box

Each year with the kindergarteners I do a Drama game called "Magic Box." I take an ordinary box and pretend to pull something from it and act if it is real, by using pantomime. The kids each get to take a turn and they love it.

Today, we had just finished the game and the kids were lining up to leave. It was raining outside and I was telling the kids to stay on the sidewalk and listen to the raindrops as they walked. Angel was the last one to walk out, and as he passed the magic box, he reached in and pulled out an imaginary umbrella and opened it up. I about lost it, it was the cutest thing EVER!

Kinder Pirate Joke

You know, I haven't learned all the kindergartners' names yet, but one of the girls told us a joke today:

Q: Where does a pirate like to eat?
A: Aaarrrrby's

The New Walk

We were doing our warm-ups in Drama class today. The particular stretch has you touching your left hand to your right toe, out in front of your body, then your right hand to your left toe, out in front of your body. I decided to make it look like i was walking in place. Here's what spilled out of my mouth:

If you feel like a stranger is watching you walk home, then walk like this and the stranger will leave you alone because you'll be stranger than a stranger!

I Vow...

...to stop complaining about all of the changes that have occurred at my school. Although I haven't complained publicly--with my co-workers, I feel I have been kinda vocal. Not the loud complaints, but the subtle, comedic type. Sure, they crack people up, but I've realized that they could be kinda like a cancer to my school.

Since I teach all of the kids, I know all of the teachers. By pointing out the problems that I have with the changes, I think many of the other teachers are getting lower spirits as well.

I think that if I accept the changes and keep a positive attitude like I usually do, I can save the school!

I vow no be 100% positive at school and work hard!

(either that, or I vow to accept that it's not all about me.) ;)

((although I will secretly know that it is.))

Who is Your Sister?

Melanie, a brand new kindergartener in Drama, said to me, "My sister was right, you ARE crazy!"

Sniff It

I was talking to the kindergarteners about their 5 senses:

MR. BOWERS: Your senses can help you be safe. You know, so like when you SEE a glass with something in it that LOOKS like water, or soda, you shouldn't just drink it--you should SMELL it first and make sure it's safe. You know, it could be something *dangerous.
RAMAN: Like a "dult-drink!"


*My older brother drank gasoline out of a coke bottle when he was 3. He survived, but his brain doesn't work right--at least in my opinion. ;)

Medicine

I was talking to Chinoso (5th grade) after school today.

CHINOSO: Man, I'm worried about Mr. Kemp, he used to be in the military, I'll bet he's gonna be tough!
MR. BOWERS: Well, just think about going to his class like taking medicine, it'll make you stronger.
CHINOSO: Mr. Bowers, isn't that steroids?

Kindergarten Advice

One of the PE teachers at our school is switching to teach Kindergarten this year. I stopped by to offer some advice:

When you tell the kids to come in the room, tell them to "sneak up on their chairs" and they will enter quietly.

Remember, you are not the teacher, you're just the kid who gets to be in charge.

Try to act extra excited about stuff, like, you know, if you want them to pick up a piece of trash, you can say, "Wow! That is a really cool piece of trash! Who wants to be the one to pick it up?"

I Vanish

Many times a kid trying to tattle will come up to me and say, "Mr. Bowers, he was doing..." and when they get to the word "he" they turn away from me and point to the other kid across the room and I never hear the rest of what "he" did. I will ask them to tell me again, and the same thing happens! I never get to find out what the other kid did. Finally, I came up with a solution to this problem:

As soon as the kid turns away from me to point, I will sneak off and hide. Then I will watch the look on the kids face as he turns back around and discovers that Mr. Bowers has disappeared!

Almost Back

MRS. BOWERS: I've got that "mini-buffalo-ranch-chicken-sandwich" song stuck in my head.

MR. BOWERS: Hey, that's better than having the "mini-buffalo-ranch-chicken-sandwich" DANCE stuck in your body!


My wife has had to put up with these kind of wise cracks all summer. I realize that, no matter how much I want summer to continue, there are millions of parents and spouses that can't wait for it to end. I really have enjoyed my time away from kids. I was able to cuss, spit, wear flip-flops and tank tops. I am refreshed, my tolerance is back up and I am ready to get back to teaching.

Oh, wait...i still have to build up my bladder endurance.

Oh yeah, if you're in Houston, come check out the show I'm in, but leave the kids at home! It open tonight and runs through August 29th.

The King of Radio

The Summer when Michael Jackson toured the Thriller album( i think), my older brother Paul and I were in the middle of the Texas Panhandle working our Dad's farm. We played this game where every time we started the truck we would try to guess the song that was going to be playing on the radio.

We decided to change the rules of the game. Now we had to guess which Michael Jackson song would be playing when we started the truck. It's kinda like that, now.

I don't mind a bit...although I am sad it had to be because of his passing.



Stevie Wonder: “We need Michael here with us, God must have needed him more.”

Dadism

dadism: (dad-ism) something my dad used to say when i was a kid.



Usually, my dad would refer to any type of sport as, "squat tag". He would say things like, "Did you have that, uh, squat tag practice today?" or, "What are you watchin? Squat tag?"

I just found out that squat tag, besides being a kids* game, is also slang for going out in the woods to use the bathroom.

I get it now!

That's pretty funny, Dad!


*Squat Tag-There are many, many tag games in existence. One of the more popular ones is Squat Tag. In this game, children can avoid being tagged by squatting whenever "IT" is about to pounce. Each child is allowed only three squats. After using up the three squats, the child must depend on his/her running and dodging ability to escape.

I Couldn't Resist

I was tubing on the Guadalupe River this weekend (yes, I'm enjoying my summer vacation, thank you.) and floated by a father and son (aprox. 8yrs old) playing tag, and for some reason they were arguing about whether the boy was a kid or a man because the dad was acting like a monster that chased kids.

DAD: ARRRRGHHH! I'M GONNA GIT ME A KID!
SON: I'M NOT A KID--I'M A MAN!
DAD: NO! You're a kid and i'm comin' for you!
SON: Unh, unh, I'm a man! I'm not a kid! aaaggghhh!

I couldn't resist:

MR. BOWERS: If' you're a man, then where is your mustache?


SON: IT FELL IN THE RIVER! IT FELL IN THE RIVER!! I'M A MAN, I PROMISE!

And The Winner Is:

Dartmouth!

My Kindergardeners Are Going to College

I guess I'm gettin' old. The kids who just graduated high school were in kindergarten when I started teaching at this school. Three kids sent me invitations so I went to the graduation ceremony. I got to see about 15 of my former students and all of them are going to college. Some of them I hadn't seen since they left my school in 4th grade. It was pretty bizaar.

WooHoo!

Don't I Feel Special

I just got this sweet email from Elena's mom after the 5th grade graduation:

I had to tell you this. I caught Elena crying while the 5th graders were singing "I'm ready to go" this morning. She pulled it together, but then she just lost it on the way out the door. Then she said, "Well, at least I didn't have to say good bye to Mr. Bowers. That would have killed me." I thought you should know. -Ruth

I can't believe I didn't get a chance to see her when she left--oh well, she'll be back, she has two sisters that are gonna be in 1st grade and kinder next year!

Hair Cut

MR. BOWERS: Hey Kamaal, nice hair cut.

KAMAAL(kindergarden): It's not a hair cut--it's a touch-up.

More Thanks a Lot

I was just sitting at my desk and looked up and saw a sign stuck above it that the kids left:

PLEASE, Clean me once a week!
Thank You!


Those darn kids!

Thanks a Lot!

Today, the Drama Club had a performance in my room at 5:30pm. Last week I told the kids in Drama Club that they could stay after school and help me get everything set up because I wanted my room to look nice for the parents. They all started cleaning my bookshelves and my desk and everything. I guess my room was pretty messy because at one point, Avery said, "Wow, Mr. Bowers--you should have let us help out a long time ago!" Then Rachel picked up my bottle of cleaning solution and said, "Man! This bottle is still full!"

oops.

The music teacher wanted me to video the 2nd grade concert. I didn't know she wanted it to be a beautiful video, I thought it was just for showing the kids later. I didn't know that she was going to offer the videos up for sale to the parents!

Oops.

Instead of always going close-up on the kids who were singing beautify, I zoomed in on the ones who were lost in their own world; the ones who didn't know the songs and wished they weren't there; the ones who saw someone they knew in the crowd and started waving; the ones who were doing the wrong movements to the songs, or not doing them at all.

Now, dont' get me wrong, I got tons of shots of great kids doing fantastic--'cuz that's how we roll at our school. Most of our kids are super, but the ones that aren't are pretty entertaining. I figured this way we could also show the kids "what not to do" in the concerts. I think the music teacher will appreciate this more in the future--I don't think the parents will, though. Oops.

I Made Up a Joke

What do you call a T-Rex who can predict the weather?


A Meat-eater-ologist!





I know...stick to my day job.

He Sleeps Like A Wrestler

Today the kindergardeners were dressed in their pajamas for some reason or another. Anyway, Jarrell wasn't wearing any pajamas, just his regular clothes. I asked him why he wasn't participating. Here is his response:

You know how those wrestlers fight in their underwear? That's how I sleep.

Logical

I just want to point out one of the neat things about being a teacher--there's a track at my job for me to exercise on after lunch! Well, today I was out walking the track with some 1st graders during their recess:


JALAILA: Mr. Bowers, are you chewing bubble gum?
MR. BOWERS: Yeah, I'm chewing gum because I just ate lunch and I'm still hungry and I heard that chewing gum would help. It's not working, though, because I'm still hungry.
CHRYSTAL: You should eat some chicken nuggets.

Blow-up Guitar

Last night we presented our annual production of "Yo Leonardo" which is a musical celebration of famous artists. At one point in the show, two kids come out with these inflatable guitars and jam out. Jacob was one of those kids:

JACOB: Hey, Mr. Bowers, can I keep the guitar after the show?
MR. BOWERS: Well, we need the guitars for the kids to use next year.
JACOB: But, I put my mouth on it when I was blowing it up.
MR. BOWERS: That's OK, so did the kid who used it last year!


HA! TAKE THAT, SWINE FLU!

Clara Got A Mosquito Bite On Her Face

CLARA (kindergarden): My mom had to put calamari lotion on my face.

Tie Your Shoes

MR. BOWERS: Hey, Tyonne, tie your shoes, the laces are draggin' on the ground. If you go in the bathroom, you're gonna get bathroom floor all over your laces and then when you go to tie your shoes, you will get bathroom floor on your hands and then when you go to pick your nose, you will have bathroom floor in your nose. You don't want bathroom floor in your nose, do you?
TYONNE: No.
MR. BOWERS: Then tie your shoes!


He tied them right away.

The other day, a little kinder kid, Elezar, had his shoes untied, so i tried to talk to his 1st grade sister, Celeste, about teaching him how to tie them. Her shoes were untied too. I went on up to their 4rd grade sister, Melanie, to talk to her about teaching them both and her shoes had velcro straps. (sigh).

The Dunking Booth

So, this weekend we had a carnival to raise money for the PTO. I volunteered to be in the Dunking booth. It was a blast--except for the following:

1. There was no border in front of the tank for the kids, so they kept running up and hitting the buzzer without perission. When I was a kid, and I did that , I had to be real sneaky and quick, you know, jump over a hay bail or something. These kids could just walk right up and no one seemed to object except me.

2. There was no border behind the tank to keep the kids from tripping the mechanism and dunking me. Luckily, a couple of parents stepped up and kept them away after a while.

3. There was a grandpa that also liked to walk behind the tank and dunk me in. Now I know where the kids get it.

4. The kids wanted to get splashed every time I got dunked, so they were all gathered around the tank. I don't know how many times I had to answer the question, "Can I get in the tank?" I always said, "I don't get to decide who gets in the tank, I am just doing my job."

5. The tank was only 3/4 full of water, and you can imagine how low the water was by the time I got dunked a few times. I was dropping like a stone--it was painful! We found the hose to refill it about the time I was getting out.

The best part was that the kids had a blast and I also got to see tons of former students--they all miss me, of course. I can tell because none of them COULD WAIT to dunk me.

My entire body is sore today.

Mad Scientist

I am making a little game show-type movie after school with some 5th graders. It's called "Lettuce Entertain You!" and it's about the 5 food groups. Avery and Kaitlyn were both cast as the host, "Grocery Guy" and have to sit inches from each other the entire time.

After the first rehearsal, I was reminded that they have been nemesis' since kindergarten. They both came to me complaining about the other. Here's what I told them:

You know how they say that fire and water don't mix? Well, you two are fire and fire. I'm hoping that you will get together and create a HUGE explosion of acting awesomeness and this will be the best show ever!........Or this could all blow up in my face...........I'm hoping for the awesomness.

The next day, they both came up to me individually and told me they agreed to get along.

Now we have had three more rehearsals and it is priceless. Sometimes a peek of the hatred comes out in the one who's not speaking's face--it kills me! They are so funny and they don't even know it!

Latest Words of Wisdom

Yesterday Wisdom came up to me and started telling me that he got in big trouble in his classroom. I couldn't believe it. Wisdom is a smart kid and sometimes gets in trouble, but he seemed really upset.

He really had me going when all of a sudden, he says, "Ahhh, APRIL 8TH!--GOTCHA!"

Wisdom has extended April Fools Day to include the whole month, I guess.

Bree's Cryin'

I don't usually have to deal with relationship issues in elementary, but now that we have 5th grade, there have been some conversations.

Yesterday, a group of 5th grade girls were huddled around Bree and called me over:

MACY: Mr. Bowers, Bree's cryin', say something to her--make her laugh!
MR. BOWERS: What's wrong, Bree? (I've taught Bree since she was in Kinder.)
BREE: J.P's gonna break up with me.
MR. BOWERS: Why?
BREE: (still crying) Because I got him in trouble!
MR. BOWERS: What! J.P. is a boy! He probably doesn't even remember why he got in trouble! He can't even remember his name half the time! That's why everybody thinks he's so cute--he always looks like he's thinkin' real hard! I don't know why you're even talking about boys anyway! The cute boys are in college--and they're smart too--cuz they're in college! Ain't that right, girls?
GIRLS: Uh, huh, that's right etc.


That's probably the best I can do--keep herdin' them in the right direction.

Not to Brag...

Just got this Email from one of my 5th grade parents:


Hello,

Zoe auditioned for Drama at Pershing and for Theatre and Broadcast Journalism at Johnston. She was accepted into both schools. So, we must be doing something right. Thanks for teaching her for 6 years.

Shawn


Oh yeah!

Fast Shoes

MR. BOWERS: Hey, Wisdom, I like those shoes you're wearin', I'll bet they run fast.
WISDOM: Nah, these are walking shoes.

Oh, Then It's OK.

ELENA(5th grade): Mr. Bowers, have you seen Talladega Nights?
MR. BOWERS: Elena! You shouldn't be watching that movie! That movie is rated R!
ELENA: No it's not! It's not rated R!
MR. BOWERS: What?! I thought it was.
ELENA: No, it's not--it's un-rated.

Predictable

I was reading the Pre-K'ers a book and was asking them to think about what would happen next in the story and try to predict:

MR. BOWERS: So, what do you think is going to happen next?
RAMAN: You're going to read some more pages!

Go Texan

I had to miss "Go Texan Day" at our school this year because I was out of town, but I heard about it! "Go Texan Day" is a day in Houston where we celebrate the start of the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. We even dress up in our best cowboy gear at school.

Mr. Richmond is a teacher at my school and he told me of his conversation with Chase, a third grader who didn't wear any outfit for this special day:

MR. RICHMOND: Hey, Chase, where's your "Go Texan" clothes?

CHASE: I ain't no cowboy--I'm a gangsta.

Thanks.

Chris is a tall, skinny 5th grader. He is leaving the school without all 4 of his little brothers and his little sister, head hanging, frowning--foot draggin'.

MR. BOWERS: Whoa! Chris, what's up? You can't leave without all your brothers and sister--what's wrong, dude?

Chris just stops and stares at the ground. Some of his classmates and friends are walking by, heading home.

MR. BOWERS: Hey, y'all, what's up with Chris? Why's he all draggin' and stuff?
KAMAAL (Chris' kindergarten brother, who just ran up): Some fat, white kid is botherin' him!
MR. BOWERS: It's not me, is it?
KAMAAL: No, Mr. Bowers, you're an adult!

That's Some Spider!

MR. BOWERS: How do spiders feed themselves?

SEFIAT (kindergarden): By catching frogs in their webs.

The Mad Mouse

We were doing our emotion puppet game again today.

Ashton chose "mad" and "mouse".

He gets up there and starts making his mouse act like its throwing up and starts yelling, "I can't take this any more--stop the pain!" Then more throwing up and yelling.

It was really good--like the mouse was really going "mad".

Cookies!

Our school is doing "The Biggest Loser" and I am, of course, participating.

Yesterday, one of the Girl Scouts came to deliver a box of cookies to me while I was on duty after school. (My duty consists of me telling the kids to sit down while they wait for their ride. Now it's the same kids everyday, so they should know to sit when they come out, but they are not willing to do this until I tell them to--EVERYDAY!)

I opened the box and said, "Let's just see who remembered to sit down when they came out today," and started passing out the cookies. Of course, they all sat down quickly.

I had half a cookie left for myself so I did good on my diet, I got them all to sit down and I supported the Girl Scouts!

Now what will I bribe them with today?

The Sad Zebra

We were doing a 3rd grade activity with the puppets where the kids had to come up with a monologue for one of their puppets based on an emotion that they were given. Callum chose "sad" and the Zebra puppet.

He Starts with the Zebra talking about how he has no money and how he never finds any money on the ground. Then, out of nowhere, he starts dropping dollars from behind the puppet stage and his zebra starts getting all excited and stuff! It was hilarious.

Brendergartener

The kinder kid named Bren is pretty funny. This morning, she says:

I'm tired of sleeping--it gives me a headache.

Prince and Prince

There are two brothers at our school and they are both named Prince. When I ask them why, they say that their dad is a king in their country. I can't get them to tell me any more than that so I'm guessing it is kind of a secret.

At Least He's Polite

So, I had a little problem with Gregorio (4th grade) in my Drama class. He was supposed to write a prepositional phrase for his partner to act out. He wrote, "Blah, blah, blah".

I told him, "Even though yours is very funny, you still have to write the sentence for me so your partner can get a turn to act it out." He refused. This is not a case of him not knowing what a prepositional phrase is, he is just being stubborn.

As I was walking him back to his class, I tried to talk some sense into him. His response:

"Please be quiet."

I tried talking some more. He refused to look at me. I tried calling his mom. She doesn't speak English. I told his teacher everything and she is going to talk to his mom.

This is the part of teaching that is so frustrating.

Maybe I need to take some more psychology classes.

You're Preachin' to the Choir

When the 1st grade teacher dropped off her class, she told me, "Mr. Bowers, can you talk to Dorian, I've had it with him."

I took the class into the room and put Dorian up on a chair--standing. I asked him why adults make children go to school. After a minute or so, I finally got him to come to the conclusion that we make kids go to school to learn how to someday become good adults.

Then I said to him, "Dorian, do you see how much taller you are than me when you are standing in this chair? Well, it won't be too many years until you ARE taller than me--for real! See, I'm only 5'4"--that's pretty short for an adult. You are gonna be way taller than me, and you need to learn how to behave appropriately."

Out of the blue, Quinlyn raises his hand. Quinlyn is a new student (he's only been in Dorian's class for two days) and this is the first time he has ever been to my Drama class. I wonder what he has to say, so I call on him. He says, "Dorian isn't a bad kid, he's just making bad choices."

BLEW MY MIND--FIRST GRADE!! THAT IS SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN TELLING THESE KIDS FOR YEARS!!! I'm always saying, there is no such thing as a bad kid--only good kids who make bad choices."

I asked the class, "Who wants Dorian to try harder? (All raise their hands) See, Dorian, your class supports you. Who thinks Dorian can do better? (All raise their hands.) See, Dorian, your class believes in you too. Now, let's get busy with some Drama"

You're Tellin' Me "NO"?

MR. BOWERS: Angelo, go to the front of the school--your mom is late. She's gonna have to pick you up there.
ANGELO: Nooooo! Just a few more minutes--she'll come!
MR. BOWERS: Now.
ANGELO: Nooooo. Pleeeeease!
MR. BOWERS: Angelo, what do you want to be when you grow up?
ANGELO: A carver. You know, one of those guys that carves stuff in the wood for the buildings when they are building them--like a carpenter or something.
MR. BOWERS: Umm, OK, well, how would you feel if the boss gave you the tools to carve with and they were all dull and stuff and they wouldn't cut the wood the way you wanted them too?
ANGELO: I would hate it.
MR. BOWERS: Well, that's how I feel when a kid tells me "no". Don't be a dull wood cutting tool--be a sharp one...and go to the front of the school and wait for your mom.

Thieves

When it is discovered that something is missing, it is so hard to get it back. Kids DO NOT want to tell the truth when they have taken something. Today, I actually got something back that was taken, and I have no idea who took it--and neither does anyone else!

I was sharing my room with the Librarian because the PTO was using the library. She took a toy away from a kid who was playing with it (it was a little skateboard) and set on the computer. Later we noticed that the toy wasn't there anymore.

We tried telling whoever took the toy to give it back now and there wouldn't be any trouble--I have never got that one to work, by the way. We tried talking to them about how we could search them and find it and that would be more embarrasing than giving it back now--that didn't work either.

Finally, I told all of the kids to gather around the rug. Then I had them all turn their backs to the rug. Finally, I said, "OK, now I want everyone to get out one thing to toss on the rug behind you. It can be a necklace, a shoe, a watch--whatever--I am gonna toss my keys. Whoever has the skateboard, you can toss it--and no one is allowed to look. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1--TOSS!"

There, among all of the other things that the kids tossed, was the skateboard.

"Thank you, now can we please get back to the lesson!?"

That's Not What I Meant

MR. BOWERS: Oh, hey Jessica! Did you cut your hair?
JESSICA (1st grader): No. My mom did.

Poo and Pee

Some boys were playing around in the restroom.



Mr. Bowers enters. Makes a loud echoing whistle to get all boys' attention, then calmy says:



You actually choose to play in here? This is a place where people go to pee and poo--and this is where you choose to play? Wouldn't it be more fun to play on the playground? How can you stand the smell of this place long enough to play? When I come in here, I hold my breath and only stay long enough to take care of my business! What is wrong with you kids?

Don't Do That

I asked the PreK'ers, "What are some things that your mom tells you not to do?"

RAMAN: My mom says, "Don't wear that make-up--that's for me!"

A Good Reason to Run

Whenever I see a kid running in the halls at school, I get real excited and ask them, "Hey, is your teacher givin' out free donuts today!?" They usually say, "No" or "I don't know".

That's where I tell 'em, "Well, you don't need run, then. You only need to run if your teacher is givin' out free donuts. You know how to tell when she is givin' out free donuts?-- Well, you'll see me runnin' too!"

Kinder Name

I forgot to add this one to the list of new kinder names that I love:

Ashatasha

Sounds just like it's spelled--asha-tasha

There You Are!

KINDERGARTENER: Mr. Bowers, I can't find the inside of my jacket.

All You Need is Time

One of the third graders was telling me about his parents getting a divorce and how sad it was making him feel. Here's what I told him:

You know, my parents got divorced when I was in kindergarten? It was terrible. I missed my mom so much.

You know what, though? If my parents hadn't got divorced, I wouldn't be your teacher!

See, I moved to Houston to go to college because that's where my mom was. I loved it here and decided to stay in Houston after I graduated--that's when I started teaching here! I love this job!

I even met my wife in Houston! I love her! She's the best thing that ever happened to me!

See, if my parents hadn't got divorced, I would have NEVER even moved to Houston!

Just give it some time, and things will get better--you'll see.

It Actually Worked!

Gavin got out of his car MAD this morning! I was like, "Dude! What's wrong?"

He yells, "Mom is being mean!"

I say to him, "Man, you better figure out what is making her so mad. I'll bet she's going out to spend a lot of money on presents this weekend. If she's mad at you she might forget to get you anything!"

His expression changed from anger to worry real fast.

Huevos

Sometimes the Bilingual kids say the darndest things:

Angel, who is a 2nd grade boy, said to me, "Fernando touched my eggs."

Save The Tears

Contrell is in 1st grade and yesterday he got his clothes pin moved to yellow! Now, this only means that he got in trouble once for the whole day. He was bawling after school.

MR. BOWERS: What's wrong Contrell?
CONTRELL: I got on yellow! (more bawling)
MR. BOWERS: That's not that bad!
CONTRELL: But I'm gonna get a whoopin! (even louder bawling)
MR. BOWERS: Well, then you better save your tears for the whoopin! If your mom whoops you and you don't have any tears left for her, she may whoop you again!

He came to me today and told me that he didn't get a whoopin afterall!

MR. BOWERS: See! And now you went and wasted all those tears!

Because She's Cute!

Some of the little 1st grabers are still having troudle rememdering which way the lowercase b's and d's face. They will write worbs like, hanb, fibble, winbow and binosaur.

I thought of a way to get them facing the right birection.

In the alphabet, "b" and "d" are both looking at the letter "c" because the "c" is so cute, see? a bcd efg...

Cissy

When Cissy was in 2nd grade, we had a "rain-out" at our school where they cancelled school in the morning because of the flooding. Many of the teachers were already at school and so were many of the students. Teachers just worked in their rooms until the stormed cleared out and some of the teachers had to stay beyond that until their students cleared out!

Cissy was one of those students. Her parents could not be reached for whatever reason. She stayed all day and finally at three O'clock we discovered that her grandparent was home, but could not drive. Her teacher (Ms. Bammel) and I decided to walk her home.

Now she is a Senior. I got a letter from her today:

Mr. Bowers,

This year has been utterly hectic and stressful, with all the college apps and grades and everything else life decides to throw high school seniors. I'm applying to Yale, Columbia, Duke, Dartmouth, Rice, NYU, Stanford, Princeton, UPenn, WashU, St. Louis, UC Berkeley, and probably Cornell and Emory. Oh, and UT. Hmm...i don't remember if i told you, but I'm totally number two, saludatorian at my High School. I had my interview for Rice this weekend; I think my alumni interviewer was quite impressed with my resume, but I suppose we shall see. I can't wait until this semester is over; I can't wait to be free from college apps. I definitely want to take you and Ms. Bammel out for lunch or dinner, some day after January 1st (portal of freedom from apps). Our schedule sucks - usually we get a week off for Thanksgiving break, but now we only got 3 days...bummer. Anyway, got to go write some more essays, apps, homework, studying... the norm. Hope to talk to you soon!

~CiCi

Sub

Today Carrington (1st grade) said, "When I was in Ms. Gillis' room, Ms. Rose was our subway teacher."

Angie Was Being Bullied

I have duty in the morning at the front of the school where many of the kids get dropped off. We have safety patrols out there opening doors for the kids and we all tell the kids "good morning" and "have a nice day" and so on.

Angie gets dropped off there. She is in 2nd grade and this is her first year at our school. Last week, a boy was moved to her classroom because he was having trouble getting along with his former class. Now he is having trouble getting along with his new class as well.

Angie was already being bullied by this new kid in her room. When Angie's class came to Drama, I could tell they were all frustrated and Angie even raised her hand to tell me that he bothered her all the time. The next morning, I stopped her and talked to her about some strategies that she could use like ignoring, moving away from the kid, etc. Angie’s mother saw me talking to her and called the principal and told him, "That man in front of the school is talking to my daughter!"

My principal was very understanding. He told me what I already knew--There is a double standard for men who teach in an elementary school.

I understand her concern, but come on!

Lifegaurd

OK, I was trying to be funny. In the First Grade classroom where I was tutoring, there was a picture of a lifegaurd in a lifegaurd bathing suit. I said, "Uh oh, look at that!" and then I whistled the "wolf whistle". Here's what Elie said:

Mr. Bowers, that's not a hottie, that's a lifegaurd.

You Would Think

You would think that with a name like Raman, this Pre-K'ers favorite noodle would be the Ramen Noodle, but you would be wrong.

Raman's favorite noodle is...SUPERGHETTI


Superghetti. How cute is that?

One Word Stories

In one of the Drama books that I use my class, there is a game called, "One Word Stories." In this game, the kids line up and tell a story one word at a time like this:

KID 1: Once
KID 2: apon
KID 3: a
KID 4: time

...and so on.

Today, part of the story went like this:

...the...dinosaur...liked...to...eat...cotton candy...M & M's...police officers...and ...butterflies.


Those crazy dinosaurs!

Where To Sit

With Obama being the new president, I was reflecting on our country's past. I was reminded of when I taught a regular class for one year--not Drama--just a regular 2nd grade class, and we were talking about Rosa Parks and her whole situation with the bus.

One of my kids, Keana, raised her hand:

KEANA: My mom is white and my dad is black. Where would I sit on the bus? Would I sit with my mom or my dad?
MR. BOWERS: I don't think your family would have been allowed to even get on the bus!

She understood what I meant. We've come a long way!

Helping Our Community

MR. BOWERS: Kids, what things can YOU do that will help our community?
SYDNEY: We can pick up trash and recycle.
MR. BOWERS: Yeah, that's a good one. What else?
CHARLIE: Don't step on beetles because if you kill all the beetles, then we would all end up with piles of poop in our yards.
MR. BOWERS: Um, yeah, ok, what else?

This Year's Kinder Occupations

Every year, I ask the Kindergarteners to act out what they want to be when they grow up.

Brianna was doing some craziness with her hands and opening doors and closing them and stuff. We were all totally confused and had no idea what she was going to be, so I asked her:

BRIANNA: When I grow up, I'm gonna pick gold!
MR. BOWERS: Okay, but what was all that door opening business?
BRIANNA: I'm gonna open the door to get the gold, and hide it so nobody gonna get it.

This Year's Journeys

It's that time of year again: Time for Imagination Journeys! I thought this one was interesting.

Heather wrote:

...and then you find yourself as a baby and a young beautiful woman is looking down at you. You are on an airplane and you feel your ears popping but then you forget about the noise. You look back at the woman and you recognize her. She is your mom but in her younger days. You smell her perfume, you recognize it. Then, she picks you up. You feel her warm hands, she starts to sing very softly to you. You barely hear her and you fall asleep in her arms. You wake up and you are a grown 30 year old lying on a river bank. You get up and you are surrounded by dead trees everywhere. There's an old man sitting next to a tree and he looks cold but your hands are warm so you put your hand on his shoulder--you have the magic touch--he stands up and slowly becomes young again. He's in neat clothes. He thanks you. He gives you an apple as a thank you gift. You bite it then all of a sudden you're a baby again. You wake up in your mom's arms again. She kisses you and you feel home again.

Walk Through

One of the movement activities that I do with the 2nd graders is called "TheWalk Through Game" where kids will immitate how it would be to walk through certain environments and the audience will try to guess what they are walking through.

Today, I had a group of kids pretending to walk into the ocean from the beach and the waves were knocking them around and they were stumbling and falling all over the place.

The audience was raising their hands to guess and I called on Bralio to answer:

BRALIO: They're all drunk!

I'm Startin' to Think This Kid's Just Goofy

I was once again tutoring Oswaldo (first grade)and this time we were working on identifying the letters of the alphabet. We were working on the letter "T" and I was pretending that it was a cup of tea and drinking the little tiny letter "T". Later when I asked him to identify the letter, I was again drinking the letter.

MR. BOWERS: Ok, now Oswaldo, which letter is this one?
OSWALDO: Coffee!
MR. BOWERS: (sigh)

To Serve

Charles (kindergarten) raised his hand right in the middle of one of my "everybody needs to be quiet" speeches and asks me, "Why are you teachers always tellin us to be quiet?"

Here's pretty much what came out of my mouth:

Well, uh, it's because we are trying to serve y'all.  You know, like when you go to get some Mc Donalds, you know, and you order a hamburger?  Those people working there are going to serve you.  It's like the guy is trying to fix you a hamburger and y'all  are all like, "HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON?  WHY YOU COOKIN THAT BURGER?   WHY DON'T YOU PUT SOME MORE KATSUP ON THAT BURGER? DO I GET A BURGER? CAN I HAVE ONE? CAN I? CAN I? CAN I?!!!!!" and y'all are driving him crazy and he can't even serve you any food!  

Well, you're here at school, and you're supposed to be ordering an education and the teachers are only trying to serve you. 

Of course, I lost them as soon as I mentioned Mickey D's.

Shocked!

We were getting ready to do the activity called, "Tell Me About The Time You..." where the kids tell fictional tales about themselves, like: Tell me about the time you fell into a pool filled with sharks.

I was trying to give an example so I needed one of the kids to give me one to do. I asked Ish (pronounced like ice but with the "sh" sound--she happens to be part of the St. Paul family) to give me an example:

MR. BOWERS: OK, Ish, ask me to tell you about something that you know I have never done...come on, look at me and think of something that you know I have never done before...come on, give me one--
ISH: Exercise.

I talked to her later and let her know that I appreciated her sense of humor, but that she needs to be careful not to be disrespectful. She apologized. She burned me fo sho!

Responsibility

Here's part of my lesson on Responsibility:

OK, let's say that your mom is in your room putting up some of your clothes and she accidentally knocks over your favorite "whatever" and breaks it.

Should she walk away and not do anything about it?...Should she hide it from you and hope that you never find out about it?...OR...Should she stop you at the door when you get home from school and tell you, "Sweetie, before you go in your room, there's something you should know--I accidentally broke your favorite 'whatever', and I'm sorry."?

Yeah, she should do number three, right? Well, that's the way most people feel. We all know that people make mistakes; the important thing is that you take responsibility for your actions!

Of course, the kids will accept the moms apology as long as she buys them another "whatever".

Criss Cross Applesauce

MRS. COLEMAN: All right class, everyone sit down Indian Style on the carpet.
MR. BOWERS: Excuse me, she means sit Native American Style--sorry y'all, Mrs. Coleman's Old School.

Poor Seiei

MR. BOWERS: Enrique, in your opinion, who is the weakest person in your class?
ENRIQUE: I think it's Seiei.
MR. BOWERS: Then WHY are you bothering Seiei so much? Come on, you're better than that! That is classic bully behavior.
ENRIQUE: At least I'm classic.

The Number 8

MR. BOWERS: (While teaching a first grader how to identify numbers) See, Oswaldo, you can remember the number 8 because of the way it looks--see, it looks like someone who "ate" too much! Get it? Eight ate too much.
OSWALDO: Yes.
MR. BOWERS: Ok, now, what number is this again?
OSWALDO: 8
MR. BOWERS: And why is it the number 8?
OSWALDO: Because he's fat.

Concentration

MR. BOWERS: Ok, class, now that you know what concentration is, give me some examples of when people concentrate.
ELIJAH: When people are trying to raise the dead.
MR. BOWERS: Um, yeah, I guess they would have to concentrate to do that. All right, what else?

Waspseses

Every day at recess, I see Seiei standing on the blacktop and not playing.  I found out that he is afraid of wasps and he saw one out on the playground and now he is afraid to play.  I have tried offering to play with him and walk out there with him--nothing works.  Yesterday he started freaking out about Hurricane Ike so I told him, "Seiei, no, the hurricane is good--It will kill all the wasps!"

Don't Be The Guy at the Bar

Oren (4th grade) has had trouble behaving at our school forever. Today I may have had a breakthrough with him:

MR. BOWERS: Oren, do you play video games?
OREN: Yeah, I'm playin' Grand Theft Auto San Andreas.
MR. BOWERS: Oh, I already finished that game. Are you having any trouble finishing any of the missions?
OREN: I can't get past the part where you break into that Snoop guy's house. I keep getting shot by the guy at the bar.
MR. BOWERS: I know what you mean. That part used to make me so mad until I figured it out. You have to use the "R3" button and your guy will crouch down and then you can crawl right past him--he won't see you. Anyway, you know how frustrating it is when you can't get past a level in the game and you have to keep trying over and over?
OREN: Yeah.
MR. BOWERS: Well, that's how frustrated I get when you won't let me teach in the classroom. I feel like you are that guy in the bar who is not letting me pass. You don't want to be that guy, do you?
OREN: No.

Now, I hope I don't get a call from Oren's mom because I was teaching him tips for playing Grand Theft Auto. Hey, his mom shouldn't let him play that game anyway!

The Real Trailer Park

KATY (kindergarten):  We were playin' in the yard an this man in his pick-up truck goes speedin' through the trailer park an my daddy jumped in his truck and chased after him and tole him to slow down!

MR. BOWERS:  Where are you from?

KATY:  Port Arthur.

(This is kind of a locational story.  Those who know Port Arthur can understand and can also imagine the HEAVY southeast Texas accent spoken by KATY.) 

Da'General has been Da'Throned

Da'General has long been the best name ever here at my school. Now he has been replaced by a new kindergardener with the best name ever:

True St.Paul

He's gotta be a college football player someday!

(oops, I just found out that True has a brother: His name is Wisdom. Seriously.)

[Double oops, Champ just came into my class and guess who his little brother is?--and they have another brother named King]

Let's review: In this family, we have True, Champ, King and Wisdom. I gotta meet these parents.

Welcome to the Trailer Park

I moved rooms over the summer.  They stuck me out in the "temporary " buildings--which have been "temporary" for at least as long as I have been at this school(13 years).  I don't mind being out there--it's actually kinda nice because I am closer to the playground.  I don't think an explanation is necessary as to why being closer to the playground is better.  I like to climb.

Anyway, the other night we had our annual Ice Cream Social where parents and kids come up to the school and visit their new teachers and get all of the necessities for the new year.

We overheard a new parent say to her kid, "Oh, your classroom must be somewhere out there in one of those trailers." 

I am now trailer trash.  

Strange Mind

I got this in an Email from a friend:


fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs?

Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Teachers. GAH!

I get so aggravated at some of the "in-service" days. We have these meetings and so many of the teachers are horrible students. I mean they talk when the presenter is speaking, pass notes, text each other--everything they get on to their students about! Then they complain about everything! GAH! Then if food is being served, the teachers in the front of the line hoard all of the good stuff. They go and get dessert before they even sit down to eat their meal so they can get the blueberry cheesecake and leave me with the crummy store bought raisin bread!

Of course, I never do any of these things; I am perfect ;)

The kids return on Monday. Hooray! I am ready to be entertained!

Back to School

Well, I am back, but the kids still have a few more weeks off. It is always weird walking around this school empty. It's too quiet. I'm sure in a couple of weeks I will be longing for the silent hallways.

We have a new principal this year and he is about 28 years old! I have heard really good things about him, however, he made us get here on time the first day back--7:45. Our old principal would let us roll in around 8:30 on the first day. He also said "No more jeans." I guess he wants us to be all professional and stuff. He better not make me start wearing a tie!

Fluffy the Dog/Wolf

Hi Mr. Bowers, this is Lexie, I was at your school a LONG time ago...about 3 years ago I was in fourth grade and also in your awesome drama club that I will never forget. The play was called Kitten and Sugar Bear's playhouse...something like that, and in that play I was Fluffy the dog/wolf. It was THE MOST incredible feeling being in drama club...we got to do improves and all kinds of stuff...and last year somewhere near new years (2008) I was in another play Beauty and the Beast. I didn't have as big of a roll as I did in your play but it was still fun. And I'm about to be in another play at my school...Peter Pan...i get to fly because I'm playing the roll of Jane...Wendy's Daughter. It's going to be pretty fun I had to fill out an information sheet about all the plays Iv'e been in and dance classes...all that kind of stuff...but the one question I will always answer the same is "Who inspired you?" or "Who is your inspiration" and what I'll always say is my drama teacher Mr. Bowers, and that's the truth. So i just wanted to email youand see how youv'e been...but I'm sure your'e busy because we have about a month until school starts...but I surely hope youv'e had a great summer. I got your email from the school web page and just thought i'd drop by and ask how you are doing and hope you have a fantastic year! Wishing you well, Lexie

Class of '08

The kids that graduated high school this past year were in first grade when I started teaching so I decided to go to the ceremony and check it out. Out of the millions of kids at the graduation, about twenty of them were former students of mine and I got to talk to a few of them.

Lauren is going to Cornell University. Her dad died when she was in kindergarten at my school and they planted a tree in his honor and it it still there.

Travis is going to be an Aggie. He always was a knuckle head.

Adrianna is going to stay in town and attend the University of Houston. She was a kid that I also tutored in reading and really came a long way. She used to read me this book with a hedgehog in it and was so cute! She had this little lisp and would always crack me up with her pronunciation.


I hate it that I couldn't track down all of the kids at the graduation--but like I said--there were millions.

Next year will be my first kindergarteners graduating High School. I'm getting old.

Hunter

Hunter is a new kid we got this year from Louisianna. He's a scrawny little blond headed first grader with a little scar under one of his eyes and a look like a stray dog. When you see him, you just know he's up to something.

He was wearing a Saints jersey at school and talking all kinds of trash about the Texans at the beginning of the year because the Saints were undefeated. After a while the Saints started losing and he tried to abandon the team and switch to the Texans. Coach Reid told him, "Dude, you have to stand by your Saints! You can't switch teams, you have to be loyal. You gotta go put a bag over your head and root for the Saints."

We also found out that he is a big Astros fan. He can name every player in the field and his favorite is, of course, Hunter Pence.

If the Astros lose, he will come walking up to you in the morning with his arms out as if to indicate the loss was his fault, but he tried his best--I swear, you would think he played for the team.

His dad works in New Orleans and he lives here with his mom--but the parents are still together--I see his mom and dad together every time there is a school function.

I was just thinking about Hunter while watching the Astros game and seeing Hunter Pence strike out with the bases loaded. I thought, "Somewhere little Hunter is gettin all upset."

I just hope Hunter comes back to my school after the summer break.

Downtown Y

So, this summer I am taking a couple of fun workout classes at the Downtown YMCA--Body Pump and Body Combat--tons o' fun! There are no kids allowed at this particular Y but they are having summer camp, so there are kids, they are just out of sight--but not out of earshot. I was sitting in the lobby after a workout and could hear, off in the distance, some young counselor hollering at the kids trying to get them quiet. Better him than me. I wanted to go and get the kids quiet for him by walking in there pretending like I was listening to a strange sound and I needed everyone to listen with me. Instead I just smiled and continued to enjoy my summer.

I am also in a play! It's The Tamarie Cooper Show! Lots of singing and dancing. I get to be a dancing sperm! Woo Hoo!! http://www.thecatastrophictheatre.com/

Triplets' Moms' Birthday

I got a note from one of the Pre-K teachers. She has triplets in her room. On their birthday, I pulled off the magical feat of THREE quarters! Their mom was up at the school on her birthday and some craziness happened. Here's the letter:


HI Mr. B,

It was the triplets mom’s birthday, Dami told her, "You need to get the quarter out of your ear." Trey looked in her ear for the quarter. I thought it was cute.

Thanks Mrs. O'Brien


See, that's why I do the quarter trick!

Last Class!

I just had my last class of this year. I am NOT teaching summer school. I have many posts to catch up on--maybe this summer. I need a break! I didn't kill anyone this year! HOORAY!

Pre-K Poker

I had a Pre-K girl come to me the other day who had poked another kid with a pencil. I asked her to go to the office. She would not go. I asked her again. She would not go. I found another teacher in the hall and asked her to take the kid to the office. She would not go with the other teacher.

Now, I can't pick her up or drag her to the office and I was very frustrated and at a loss. I called the office to come and get her, but they were busy handling other situations at the time.

Finally the idea hit me, "Let's go for a walk--everyone line up!" They did--including the "poker". We walked down the stairs and around the courtyard and then past the library and by the cafeteria and then walked through the office and as we passed through the office--that's when they nabbed her!

Then the rest of the class and I went back to the room for our lesson. :)

The Wasted Time Can

I just have to share this. The Music Teacher at my school has a Wasted Time Can! It is the coolest thing. It is an old coffee can that is decorated and has its' name on it. Any time a kid is playing around with something in her class, she tells them to put it in the can.

She has had the can for about three years and the stuff in it is pretty random. It has rubber bands, toys of all kinds, necklaces, bracelets, keys--even a wheel from those tennis shoes with skates on the bottom.

The kids know about the can and always hate to put things in it--but they don't argue about it--they just know that is the consequence.

Yesterday one of the kids asked, "Do we get the stuff back at the end of the year?" Another kid shouted out, "No, she gives the stuff to all the good kids!"

Actually, the stuff just stays in the can--she still has stuff that she took from kids three years ago. I think she should give the stuff back when the kid gets to 5th grade.

When I was in 5th grade, my friend Alan and I were playing with some toy cars on the bathroom walls and we got sent to the principal to get licks! The principal also took the cars away and told us that we could get them back on the last day of school.

Sure enough, we went back at the end of the year and asked for them. He had no idea what we were talking about. I told him, "They are in that top drawer on the left." He pulled them out and was surprised. He couldn't even remember taking them away from us. I told him, "You even gave us licks!" Again, he was surprised.

A few years ago, I heard that he was elected mayor of the city where I grew up. I wouldn't have voted for him!

My New Step Dad's a Cowboy

So we get this new first grader at our school and she tells me she's from New York:

MR. BOWERS: Oh, you're from New York? Why did you move to Houston?
TYLER: My mom and dad got separated.
MR. BOWERS: Aww, so did my parents.
TYLER: But now I got a new step dad.
MR. BOWERS: Oh, really?
TYLER: Yep. He's a cowboy.
MR. BOWERS: Do you like him?
TYLER: Yeah, he's real nice. He hits my mom sometimes, though.
MR. BOWERS: Oh no! Why does he do that?
TYLER: Cowboys are like that.
MR. BOWERS: A real cowboy would never hit a girl. You should tell your mom, "Let's get outta here!" Does he ever hit you?
TYLER: No! He even protects me from my mom. Like when I get in trouble at school, he tells her not to be so mad at me.
MR. BOWERS: Well, if he ever decides to hit you, you and your mom better get away from him.

Motorbike

Jerry (5th grade) said, "I have a motor bike! See, I have a bike and I am the motor!"

Winfred

Winfred was in First grade when I started teaching Drama at this school. I had him all the way through fourth grade. Now he is a senior. Yesterday, I got this letter from his mother.


Good afternoon,

I have a praise report to share!!! Winfred was accepted to Babson College, a private college, in Massachusetts. Babson is the #1 Entrepreneurialship school in the nation, and a Top 10 Business School overall. Over 4000 Freshmen applied and they only accepted 400. This was an honorable accomplishment in and of itself. The problem was this private school wanted $48,000/yr. to go to their school. Mommy and Daddy said "Son, we cannot pay that kind of money for you to go to school. They will have to come with some serious financial aid." Winfred was determined to go. He and his dad went on the College Diversity Tour there and he fell in love with the school. He said knew he was going there and felt that God was going to make a way for him to go.

Well, I am just here to tell you that God has indeed made a way!!! He got his financial aid packet from them and they are offering him $45,681/yr. Mom and dad and family and friends will only have to pay $2586 for the year to go there and that includes tuition, housing and meal plan!!!! God is so good!! My child will be going off to Massachusetts to Babson College. I know I'll be crying soon but right now I am rejoicing over all that God has done. This is a testimony of my child's faith, he believed and trusted God and God rewarded his faithfulness!!!

Tiny Dancer Dances

Ok, so the Talent Show happened. It was a great experience and an awesome night for the performers and the audience. We had 60-something kids performing--not all solo--most of them in groups (It ended up being about 33 acts). Everyone did their best and performed the way they practiced. It wasn't a competition, rather a night of entertainment. The best choice I made was asking the kids to keep their acts close to one minute long!

We had it outside and we didn't think about lighting--except to light the performers--we had one spotlight. The audience was maybe a little too dark but it was great because someone was giving out those glow in the dark necklaces. At one point I got this cool feeling like when I was a kid and I was trick-or-treating and running around in the dark with my friends. I know it made for some great memories for the kids.

K'yhana (3rd grade) told me that after she sang and the audience cheered, it made her mother cry. Her mom told her that the audience sounded like a thousand lions roaring. Of course her song was "I Believe I can Fly".

I had these two boys audition--one could kinda play the guitar and the other could kinda dance. I made them be in a group together and made the dancer dress like a monkey! It went great!

We had three magicians, loads of singers and dancers, two kids doing monologues, a kid bouncing a tennis ball on his raquet 100 times in a row while the audience counted, a gymnast, some piano players, an electric guitarist playing the intro to "Brown Sugar" and ended the night with three boys performing as Alvin and the Chipmunks!

Even as I typed this one of the kids came into the room to ask if we are doing it again next year.

My favorite had to be Kathleen. She didn't get shy and change things up--she got on stage and danced like there's no tomorrow.

Moody

There is a girl in first grade and her last name is Moody. Yes, her name fits. At least once a month she gets very upset in Drama class because she gets shy when she isn't the best at whatever we are doing. If she makes a mistake, the tears start to flow.

I have talked to her several times, but today I had kind of a breakthrough. I kept her after class and I found out that when everyone looks at her, she gets real freaked out. When she makes a mistake, she feels like everyone is looking at her and making fun of her. We talked about it some more and hopefully she will get over her fears.

Of course, I then realized what will happen when she returns to class. I asked her, "Now, when you open the door to go back into the room, what are the kids going to do?" She replied, "Look at me." I asked her, "Do you know why they all look when the door opens?" "No," she said. I told her, "They look because they think it might be Santa Clause."

Umm, OK

The music teacher told me that this morning, Hayden (kindergarten) came sashaying across the cafeteria and said to her, "This summer I get to wear girl clothes."

Tiny Dancer

About seven years ago, I was invited over to a former students' house by her mother to help the kid with an audition for a performance high school. We worked on the piece and then I hung out with the family for a little while. The youngest of the family was Kathleen. She was about three or four at the time and was an entertainer. She danced the whole time I was there while her family laughed and applauded.

Fast forward to the present--Kathleen is now in the 4th grade. She is very shy.

She tried out for the talent show last week. She danced. It was B-O-R-I-N-G. No energy. Nothing.

Afterwards, I pulled her aside and reminded her of that time I came over to her house. (She remembered it--right down to the reason I was there--to help her sister with acting.) I reminded her of how much fun she would have while she was dancing for her family. I told her that she needs to bring that fun to the talent show.

Yesterday, she came to rehearsal and said that she was using a different song. I was like, "Cool, let's see it".

BLEW ME AWAY! She looked like a 10 year old Paula Abdul. She tore it up! All of the kids screamed when she finished. I was amazed. All I could say was, "WOW!"

The Jacket

Xavier just moved to our school with only a month and a half left. He is FULL of anger. His teacher said that when she tried to talk to his dad, HE was full of anger as well. I talked to Xavier and he told me that his little brother and sister spend every day at home tearing up all of his stuff--including his XBox. After he told me that, here's what I said to him:

Dude, I'll bet you can't wait 'till you grow up and get to move out of the house. You know, the ticket out of town is COLLEGE! You can't come to school with all this anger. You will never learn enough to get to college.

You know when you get to school on a cold day how you take off your jacket? Well, you need to take off your anger just like that. When you get out of the car in the morning and wallk into the school, I want you to take that anger off--just like a jacket.

Good Little Garbage Cans

I was having trouble getting some 2nd graders to respect their teacher:

You know when a garbage collector comes down the street, do you think he wants to see all of the cans kicked over and the trash spilled all over the street? NO!! He wants to see all of them nicely lined up for his truck with the lids closed and the trash all inside the cans.

When your teacher comes to school, she wants to see all of you in nice straight lines with your mouths closed or if you are talking, you should be saying nice things to each other--not spewing garbage all over the room by using ugly words!

Koby Almost Cursed

We were playing an april Fools game where one person stands behind the person who is "it" and says, "April fools" and the person who is "it" will try to guess who it was.

Well, Koby (3rd grade) was mad that someone guessed his voice and almost shouted out the twelve letter word that begins with M and ends in R. He actually got out the word "mother" before I stopped him. He was shocked that the word had even come that close to being said. I said to him, Koby I am ashamed that you would even think about saying that--especially at school! What would your mom do if she heard you say that?" Koby said, "She would turn me into a GHOST!"

Mr. Prince

There is this kid in 4th grade and his last name is Prince--he is anything but a prince. He is always in trouble. I got a note from him today:

Dear Mr. Bowers,
Thank you for being such a wonderful teacher this intire school year. You've tauht us some prettey fun, funny, and cool stuff. I also wan't to say thank you for helping me with my anger problems and my temper, I'm doing so much better now.

Sincerelly,
J.

P.S. Happy teaching!!!

I asked his classmates if he really was doing a better job, and they actually said that he was! We'll see how long it lasts. I hope it lasts a long time, he is a neat little guy.

April Fools 2008

I was ready this Year:

"Hey Mr. Bowers, what's that on your head!?"

MR. BOWERS: Oh, that's a spider. He always climbs up there on April fool's Day.

One kid did get me on the "Your shoe's untied" bit. My response..."Your breath stinks."

More Special Powers

It's that time of year again...that's right...it's time to find out what Jenni's Birthday wish will be! This year, she wishes to have thousands of imaginary friends. Don't worry, she says that she already has thousands of imaginary friends, but she wants thousands more! She wants a whole country of imaginary friends. By the way, last year's wish still hasn't come true, but we're not giving up!

Yummy!

Jaylen (PreK) said, "I can't stand green peas because they smell like diapers!"

OM

We had 4 Odyssey of the Mind teams this year. OM is a creative competition where kids have to put on plays and solve problems without the help of anyone outside the seven kids on the team--including any of the kids parents.

Zoe (5th grade) and her teamates were ready for the competition. However, for some reason, during the performance, their cardboard set kept falling down and this threw them off. The play was a catastrophe. After the show some of the kids were crying--they were so upset that they weren't going to make it to the state tournament.

Zoe saw all of her teammates’ whining and complaining and crying and she just said, "I don't care if we don't win, I had a blast building the sets and costumes and doing the play--this was awesome!"

Later that night at the awards ceremony, Zoe was the only member of her team that showed--and guess what? Her team won third place! I guess all the other teams in their division really blew! Zoe got to go up on stage and collect all seven medals for her team! Now they are on to the state tournament!

Hayden (Kindergartner) Said:

Somefing hit my heart yesterday and now it might be half bwoken.

A Kindergartener Heard Me POOT!

I looked at her. She looked at me. She said, "It wasn't me!" Everyone screamed!

ALLRIGHT--EVERYBODY FREEZE!!!!! Yes, it was me who pooted. I'm sorry. Right now I think the smell is behind me and I don't smell it yet. If everyone will just HOLD STILL I don't think the smell will move. If everyone starts moving around a breeze will start up and the smell will travel.

I still don't smell it, I think this is working. Does anyone smell it yet? (They are still holding still, but their little noses start wiggling) "No", they say. OK, then I think the smell is gone. Let's get back to work.

It's That Time

On February 14th, Jonathan came up to me and handed me this HUGE Snickers bar--which happens to be my favorite candy bar:

JONATHAN: Here Mr. Bowers, this is for your violence times.
MR. BOWERS: Huh?
JONATHAN: You know, for your violence times.
MR. BOWERS: Oh, you mean when I get mad at the kids, this will calm me down?
JONATHAN: No! You know, for violence times day--here is your violence times gift.
MR. BOWERS: Ohhh, Valentines--OK, thanks. Happy Violence Times Day to you Jonathan.

Bow to the Queen

Jada was being disrespectful to her teacher. I caught wind of the situation and decided to lend a hand:

Jada, I know you are a princess, right? I know that this is your kingdom and the rest of us are just living here, but you are forgetting one thing. You may be the princess, but your teacher is the Queen. No matter how big the princess gets, she still has to bow to the Queen. Whatever the Queen says, the princess does it. You got that?

Know Your Audience

Seiei is a third grader. His name is pronounced like "Say-Yay". He is from Korea and he has this innocence that comes across as immaturity--but his classmates love him and don't make fun of him at all. Even if they were to make fun of him, I don't think he would even know they were doing it.

Yesterday, we were creating scenes in Drama where kids were playing baseball and they break an old man’s window. In Seiei's group, he was playing the part of the "old man". They came to the part where his window got broken and he comes running out saying, "Whoever broke my window--I'm gonna hug and kiss you!"

At first I thought I misunderstood or something. Then he says, "If you break my window again, I’m gonna hug and kiss you!" Then he starts chasing the kids around the room like he is gonna do it! The kids were rolling with laughter.

When the scene finished, I decided to ask Seiei about what he said. I thought the other kids must have put him up to it. I said, "Seiei, why did you say that if they did it again, you were gonna hug and kiss them?" Seiei said, "It's because I wanted the scene to be funny."

He was right, it was funny.

True Dat

On the same weekend that the vandals broke into the school, the water pipes busted in one of the bathrooms and flooded the library, teacher workroom and a couple of classrooms. For the last couple of weeks, these rooms have been "out of order" as the repairs take place. In other words, the kids have not been to the library in quite a while.

So, the other day I was having a conversation with a new student:

MR. BOWERS: So, what do you think of our school so far?
KENYANIQUE: It's OK, my old school was better.
MR. BOWERS: Oh really? How was the Drama department at your school? Did you have a really cool Drama teacher?
KENYANIQUE: We didn't have Drama at our school.
MR. BOWERS: What? No Drama! How can your old school be better than this one if you didn't have Drama?
KENYANIQUE: You know, we just had better stuff, you know, like we had a better library and stuff.
MR. BOWERS: Hey, our school has a great library!
PERRY (who was eavesdropping): NOT NO MO WE DON'T!

The Writing Process

I was teaching the writing process to my 5th graders:


OK, like you know when I was in High School, I would sometimes write love letters. Before I would write, I would think about all the things I want to tell the girl. You know, how much I love her, how pretty she is and things like that. (pre-writing)

Then, I would pour out my soul onto the paper and tell her everything, you know, get it all out. (rough draft)

After I finished, I would go back and read it to myself and think about the girl and how she may react when she reads it. Then I would think, "Oh man, I can't say that, she'll think I’m crazy!" So, I would go back and change it up a little bit to make it better. (revising)

Then, you know, I didn't want her to think I was dumb, so I would go back and double check all of my punctuation, grammar, capitalization--stuff like that. I would make sure that I have crossed all of my t's and dotted all of my i's. Sometimes I would make the dots on the i's be like little hearts. (edit)

Now, I had the note just the way I wanted it, so I would get out a new sheet of paper and a really fancy pen and copy the letter in my best handwriting with no mistakes on it so the girl would think I was perfect. Maybe I would spray a little cologne on the paper to make it extra special. Then, I would present the letter to the girl! (publishing)

Next, I would watch as she would tear up the letter and yell at me to never speak to her again! (critic)

Vandals

We had a few vandals break into the school over MLK weekend. They got into a few classrooms and did some damage. Nothing was stolen but a few computers were ruined. My classroom looked like the Tasmanian devil had come through.

They dumped out six jigsaw puzzles, mixed in some crayons, markers papers, pencils, CD's, math manipulatives, books, etc.--all over the floor. Then I noticed that they tore up some of my teaching posters and a picture of my wife and I at the school Christmas party.

My first class of the day was 5th graders. They offered to help clean up the room and in about 30 minutes everything was back in its place--even the Christmas party picture. Some of the 5th grade girls had taped it back together!! HOW SWEET!! I told them that every time I look at the taped together picture I will not think of the ugly vandals who tore it, but of the beautiful children who helped me clean up my room!!! EVEN SWEETER!!!

To top things off, there was also a broken water pipe that left the library, copy/workroom and several classes flooded with water. Needless to say, our principal is not his usual jovial self--although he is handling everything like a champ.

There are rumors that the vandals were a few kids that were at our school last year and are now at a school close to here. I hope we find the real culprits, my wife wants to talk to them about the picture!

Bad Alarm Cock

The music teacher and I were doing "She'll Be Coming Around The Mountain" with the kindergarteners and we asked the kids why the song says that they will "kill the big fat rooster when she comes".

HANNAH: Because they are mad at the rooster cus he's annoying them and they want to sleep?

ADAM: So they can eat rooster meat?

(FYI: It's really so that they can "all have chicken and dumplins when she comes.")

Let's Go See A Giant Rat

I overheard a dad talking to his kindergarten daughter this morning as they were walking to class. His voice sounded a little like the famous rapper 50 Cent:

DAD: I'll tell you what...if you stay on "E" for the rest of this week...I'll take you to see Chucky Cheese on Friday...I promise...That's a PROMISE!

Cheese Cutter

SAM: James farted!
MR. BOWERS: Ok, well, that proves that he's not a robot.

Goals

I decided to teach the kids about goal setting:

MR. BOWERS: Let's say your goal is to stop hitting your little brother so much. Here's what you do: Keep track of how many times you hit your brother in a week. Let's say it's about twenty times a week. Well, the next week, you try just hitting him ten times and after you have hit him for the tenth time, you can't hit him again--no matter what! Then you lower it to five and so on. Eventually, you get down to hitting him only ONE time a week! That's when you will be using some good self-control because you will REALLY want to hit him but you might want to save it for something really bad.

REBECCA: But don't tell him he only gets one hit!!!

KIARRA: If I only hit him once this week, do I get to hit him twice the next week?!!

Too Much Christmas Pie

On the first day back from the holiday I was so happy to see the kindergarteners coming to my class:

MR. BOWERS: Hey you guys i am so happy to see you! Did you miss me?
CIENNA: You got bigger!

Ew!

Jonathan(kindergarten) is wandering around the cafeteria with a napkin, looking at the floor during breakfast:

MR.BOWERS: Hey, Jonathan, go sit down.
JONATHAN: I'm looking for my snot. I sneezed.

Teegerstrom's Crib

The 5th graders were working on adjectives and I came up with a game that I call "Imaginary Cribs" styled after the MTV program where celebrities show off their houses. In my game the kids have to get up and describe their bedroom--and act like they are in their actual bedroom-- using as many adjectives as they can and as they walk around, they can't bump into anything that they have put into the empty space.

After we finished, I told them that next time we will play the game where they can make up a fictional "crib" and tell us all about it. Here's what Teegerstrom had to say about that:

TEEGERSTROM: We get to tell about our imaginary house?! YAY! I'm going to tell about my wizard temple!


No one in the class was the least bit surprised--including me. That's how Teegerstrom rolls.

Like a Dog

MR. BOWERS: Hey Jorge, why are you yelling at Trevion?! What's going on?
JORGE: It's because he was yelling at me first!
MR. BOWERS: When someone is yelling at you, you don't just yell back! You have to try to figure out why they are so mad and make sure that they aren't mad at you. They could just be mad at something else. If a dog was angry and barking at you would you just start barking back at him? NO! If a dog is angry, you start trying to calm the dog down so you don't get bit--or get away from him. Next time, treat him like a dog!

The Double Apostrophe

We have had many children with an apostrophe in their names in the last few years. De'Mandre, K'yhana, Andra'Nique and even Ja'Kayla and Je'quaylin.

Now, for the first time ever at our school, we have the double apostrophy: Rae'Aja'Nique!

I think that is Aw'some!

The Bus Ride Home

The city bus is a little different on the way home. Yesterday, I was at the bus stop and I was on the phone with the mechanic--he was right in the middle of explaining the $1000 repair he had done to my wife's truck--when the bus rolled up and I got on.

"MR. BOWERS! MR. BOWERS"

The bus had just come from the middle school that some of my former students feed into. The bus was so loud--like a school bus--but with adults in long faces mixed in. The bus driver just ignored all the screaming kids. It was one of the wildest things I have seen in a long time.

At least now Karina's truck is fixed and I can once again drive to school. Oh yeah, as I was waiting for the bus, my principal drove past and gave me the "thumbs up" as if I was being a good cicizen and trying to save the planet.

The Crack

I was walking past John Paul's first grade class today while they were in P.E. and he was sitting there on the ground with his pants down so far that his crack was showing. I asked him, "Hey, John Paul, are you going to be a plumber when you grow up?"

Without hesitation, John Paul jumped up and started pulling up his pants and said, "Ok, ok." I asked, "Why are you pulling up your pants?" His reply, "It's because plumbers wear their pants down low."

So do rappers. I guess he's heard that one before.

The Bus

This morning I rode the bus to school because my wife's car was at the mechanic. I fell asleep on the bus and missed my stop. I decided to use this opportunity to teach the kindergarterers a lesson on problem solving:


MR. BOWERS: This morning I fell asleep on the bus and I missed my stop. I was far away from my school. How could I solve this problem?

NICHOLAS: You could have not falled asleep on the bus.


ANSWER--I got off the bus and called Coach Reed to come pick me up!

5th Grade Campout

This is my first year to teach 5th graders. Apparently our school district has a 5th grade campout every year where the kids spend a week out at a lake learning about stuff (I'll find out what they learned when they get back). Our principal went out there to visit them yesterday and the counselor told him that our kids were the most respectful and polite kids he has ever had! I guess we're doing something right!

U

My First graders were entering the room a little noisily:

MR. BOWERS: All right you guys, settle down. I don't want to have to change your grades from "E" Excellent to "S" Satisfactory. Earlier today one little girl would not calm down and I had to change her grade all the way down to "U"--

MARTIN: UNEXPECTED!

Puppeteer

I used to teach this quiet girl named Morgan and I found out one day that she makes puppets at her house. She makes them out of paper bags. I asked her if she wanted to bring them to school one day so that her class could use them as their puppets when we got to that lesson. She brought over 100 puppets to school! I was very impressed. I got a letter from her today:

Hi Mr.Bowers. This is Morgan from 4th grade! I am in 7th grade now! I miss you sooooooo much! You were such an awesome teacher that made my confidence boost alot! I still make puppets and other things too!
At my school, we are doing a school production of The Wizard of Oz! I don't have any major parts but i will have to dance.. D: I'm not much of a dancer..
Anyways, I just wanted to say that I missed you! Have a wonderful time and be great at everything you do!

Makes it all worthwhile.

The Last Journey

I found one more Journey to share. This one's written by Danna (4th grade):


First you see yourself on a subway. Then the subway comes to a stop and you can't open he door so you decide to knock it over. The subway starts and you throw yourself out of the window and end up in the middle of nowhere, so you just walk around but you find out you are in a cardboard box, so you just walk around in circles and end up in Las Vegas. You explore the place and see a man drinking wine and singing so you run over to the man but instead you run into a room--just a room with no furniture, just a window and a door. You look out the window and all you see is a tree and a lake. You decide to open the door. When you open it you get covered by macaroni and cheese. You taste it and it tastes like wood chips so you spit it out and swim out of the macaroni looking stuff and you end up inside a closet and find yourself shrinking smaller, smaller and smaller.

Jonathan

Jonathan is a 4th grader and he is pretty pathetic. He plays in class and doesn't listen to the teacher and all of his classmates are tired of him acting up.

When his class did their Imagination Journeys, he could hardly think of anything to write and when he did finally get to work, it was about ten words and it was about a wrestling video game. Also, his handwriting was horrible--large letters like chicken scratches--like a first grader would write. Later that day I pulled him aside in the lunchroom:

"Hey Jonathan, I gotta talk to you man to man--not teacher to student. You know that writing you did today in Drama? Well, it was horrible! If you ever want to send a note to a girl asking her out on a date or something, she would laugh in your face! You need to get that handwriting in check! I mean it! You need to work hard in school and quit playing around!"

The next week he came to Drama, I about flipped out when he handed me a paper with every letter in the alphabet written twenty times each in really nice handwriting! I was so proud of him, I really propped him up. I also gave him a new pencil with one of those cushy things that helps a tired hand and also one of those erasers that you stick on the end.

The Journey Continues

Here is Austin's (4th grade) Imagination Journey:

You are standing next to an elevator. You are in a room with no doors and no windows. You decide to press the elevator button. You get on the elevator. It is empty. The doors close and the elevator descends, you start going down. You go faster and faster and faster and faster and faster and faster and faster until you can't take going any faster. Then the elevator stops and you get off and you are amazed by what you see. In front of you is a tower that is so high you can't see the top, but what makes it fascinating is that it's made of pure gold. Suddenly, you fall through a trap door!

Another Journey

I may be posting several of these kids journeys. Here is an offering from Joseph (4th grade) who came to our school in second grade because his family evacuated New Orleans after Katrina:

You wake up and you are in a palace. They have three doors. You choose door two and when you walk in you see Soulja Boy and he says, "Let's do the Soulja Boy dance called 'Superman'". When you do the dance, water comes gushing through all sides of the wall. Then you try to swim for the door, but it's locked. You try to look for some windows but there aren't any more. Then you see The Hulk bust through the door and he's just standing there letting out all of the water. Then when all the water is gone he tries to stomp his ten-foot long foot on your face but you keep on running. Then when you hop out of the busted door and run outside there were cops all over and they thought you broke into the house and they brought you to jail and you try to run free and they catch you.


On a side note; one girl named Miridiat wrote that, "...an octopus swims by and grabs you by its specticals".

Imagination Journey

Once a year I will take the 4th graders on an Imagination Journey where they will act things out as a group while I narrate. Then the next week, they will write their own journeys and I will read them while they act those out. Every once in a while I will get a really strange journey:

Written By DeMarco (4th grade)

Monkeys and robots are fighting in space and you are on the monkey's side. You start to shoot the robots, but the robots are out numbered. A monkey bites you and you turn into a monkey and you scream, "Oo-ohoh!" Then you tell them to take you to their master. Then they take you to Monkey Zilla. Monkey Zilla swings you around and around and you get sick and he starts laughing at you when you throw-up. Then he ate you and he had no organs and he had long toe nails. Then Dracula came to kill Monkey Zilla and he turned into Monkey Zilla Dracula.


Needless to say, the kids had a wonderful time acting this one out!

Should've Kept Your Mouth Shut

I walked into the Chess Club's meeting and challenged Christopher to a game of Chess. Christopher was the best player in the school and had even beat up on most of the kids in the city in his age group.

I pretty much just know the rules of Chess and have no strategies or tricks--I just play.

After about five minutes, Christopher makes a move and then immediatly gets all frustrated with himself and says, "Aw, man, you won."

Before I could even question him he is rattling off, "Now you're gonna move here and then I will have to move here to block you and then you will move here and have me in Check Mate".

My response: THAT'S RIGHT!

No Rules Day at Wal-Mart

While discussing the importance of rules, I gave this analogy:

Let's imagine that it's no rules day at Wal-mart. We walk into the store and the greeter says, "Welcome to Wal-Mart. Today there are NO RULES!"
SWEET! First thing I would do is go get a bike and start riding it around the store! I have always wanted to do that! What would you guys do?

-I would go and play with the toys!
-I would get some money!
-I would eat at the McDonalds in Wal-Mart!
-I would throw the footballs!
-I would get me some movies!
-I would steal everything in the store!

OK that all sounds fun--if it was just us. However, if there was a no rules day at Wal-Mart then you know everybody and their dog would come out to the store and get in on the fun.
If I was riding my bike in the store and a bunch of little kids were running around--what could happen?


If I was playing with some toys and a bunch of older kids came up and wanted to play with the same toy as me, what might they do?


If I was getting some money out of the cash register and other people saw me doing it and they decided that they wanted that money too, then what could happen?

It might be fun to have a no rules day, but you see, rules are necessary for the safety of all of the people.

Top Kindergarten Occupations

Every year I ask the kindergarteners to act out what they want to be when they grow up and the other kids try to guess what it is. A couple of years ago, Melissa was doing what looked like mixing chemicals so we guessed "scientist"--only to find out that what she really wanted to be was "bartender". Here are some of the top things kindergartners want to be when they grow up:

Wrestler
Ballerina
Runner
Wal*Mart worker
Princess
Cowboy
Cop
Power Ranger

Trisha

MR. BOWERS: Trisha, that was a good answer, did you already know it or did you think about it?
TRISHA: (a pre-k student) I tinked it.

Yep

LESLIE: (A kid in pre-K.) Mr. Bowers, I know what catsup's made of--"
MR. BOWERS: What's catsup made of, Leslie?
LESLIE: Potatoe!

The Hampster

(Taylor, a third grader, raises her hand at the beginning of class)

TAYLOR: (In a matter of fact like voice) Mr. Bowers, my hampster died!

MR. BOWERS: I'm sorry. Did you bury him in the back yard?

TAYLOR: (matter of factly) We made him this box and we put some of his toys in it and made him a little bed with some tissue...and...well it just happened this morning...(here come the tears.)

MR. BOWERS: Oh my goddness, I'm so sorry, "Yall, listen up, her hampster just died this morning!"

(Everyone kind of gives these honestly sympathetic whimpers and those sitting next to her instantly comfort her an she gets herself together)

MR. BOWERS: Hey, you know what I always do when my wife starts worring about our turtle dying someday? I just say, "(I bust out a beautiful song...) It's the circle of liiiiiiiife."

THE CLASS: Yeah, that's right!

MR. BOWERS: Taylor, did he have a good life while he was with you?

TAYLOR: Yes.

MR. BOWERS: Did you feed him and take good care of him and play with him?

TAYLOR: Yes.

MR. BOWERS: Did you ever let any cats chase him or anything?

TAYLOR: (laughing a little) NO!

MR. BOWERS: Then he had a better life than most rodents!


At this point we all laughed and this seemed to really comfort Taylor. Then we all had a really nice time interviewing each other as if we were inventors.

Not A Lazy American

During a lesson on RESPECT, I gave the following example:

"This summer my wife, my cousin and my brother in-law were in the Philippines and we went to this lake way up in the mountains. At the lake, these two Filipino dudes were selling rides across on their Banka boat; which is like a canoe. We noticed that there were 2 extra oars to row with. Now, class, what would they think about us if we didn't help them row the boat? (CLASS: That y'll were lazy!) Not just lazy, but lazy AMERICANS.

Now, see kids, in some other countries, people recognize Americans right away. The way we dress, the way we act, how we talk, how we carry ourselves...To some people, Americans are thought to be lazy--and in many ways we are! We eat too much fast food; we watch too much TV and many of us--including me--are just a little bit overweight.

We wanted to show those Filipino dudes that we weren't lazy, so we helped row the boat across the lake to the waterfall.

Now, at first it was fun, but it took us about 20 minutes and we worked very hard. We were doing our best to keep up the same pace as the man in the front of the boat. I was sweating and my arms were on fire! It was so hard!

When we got to the other side of the lake, those two guys looked at us with RESPECT because they knew how hard we had worked.

I want you to know that just like I was working hard to get some respect for my country, you have to work hard at school to get respect for yourself, and for your family! If you are lazy at school and don't behave, that reflects poorly on family and your mom and dad because it’s your mom and dad who first teach you how to behave and they are the first ones who tell you what is expected of you at school."

KAITLYN: Mr. Bowers, I went to a lake before!
MR. BOWERS: (sigh)

Greater Than/Less Than

I am teaching the 1st graders the concept of greater than/less than like in this example:

8>6

I will have the kids come up with a choice for their class like; whoever likes pizza, go on this side of the room and whoever likes spaghetti go on the other side of the room. Then the kid counts the groups and stands in the middls of the room and makes the "greater than" sign with their hands towards the larger group.

So, it's finally Kevin's turn. He is the last one. He has participated in all of the other kids' surveys and has had all this time to think of what his question is going to be.

KEVIN: Whoever likes to draw art go on this side of the room and whoever likes to run around in their underwear go on the other side of the room.

I went to the underwear side of the room which made our side have 10 to the art-sy side's 9. Underwear WINS AGAIN!

He's an Umpire!

I had this Pre-Kindergarten kid in my class who is missing his two front teeth. One of his classmates told me he was an umpire. You know, because it is close to Halloween. Get it? Because of his fangs. Get it?

Waiting for the Anger

I have come to a realization. Some kids will not cooperate with an adult until the adult becomes angry. I can ask kids politely to get quiet several times and get no cooperation, but as soon as I raise my voice and show them that I am angry, they will get quiet right away. Sometimes I will pretend to be angry just to get them quiet, then quickly return to a polite person and continue teaching. When I yell at them, they get quiet for a few minutes, then the cycle starts over again--like they forgot how mad I was a few minutes ago--and I start asking them to get quiet again nicely--until I get angry again--AAAGGGHHH!!!.

I asked some of my classes if that's how it is at home and--guess what--it is. Their parents can't beat them, so they yell at them. I told them how it was when I was a kid:

"See, when I was a kid, if the teacher or parent got mad, that usually resulted in a whoopin'. You don't forget about a whoopin' in just a few minutes. You usually remember that for the rest of the day--especially if getting a whoopin' at school meant that you would get another whoopin' when you got home. The pain and humiliation of getting a whoopin' would sometimes cause you to behave for even a few days."

One Man Show

A first grader was actin' a fool in his class and his teacher said, "Joe, are you putting on a little one man show over there?" Another kid in the class was heard saying, "That would be a pretty boring show."

I thought it was funny. I don't know if it really is or not. Sorry if it's not.

The Year 2066

That is the year that some of our 5th graders will turn 70. When the 5th graders figured out the year they will turn 70, one of the kids said, "Wow! 2066! There will propably be flying cars!" I remember thinking that about the year 2000 when I was a kid.

Some of the kids I am teaching were born AFTER 911. Some of these kids are awesome, but some of them are, like, wow. I just don't know.

I still believe that the future is bright. Even the worst class at my school has a majority of well behaved kids in it--it's just that the ill-behaved kids are way louder than the others.

The kids who do have it together are REALLY smart. I am so impressed with the way some of these kids think.

Imagine what kind of humor and creativity comes out of a 10 year old who grew up in a world where "The Simpsons" is on every day after school. When I was 10, I propably wouldn't have even understood most of the jokes on that show. Although, I can't complain about getting to watch the Buggsbunny Roadrunner Show--that was the BEST TV SHOW EVER!!!

Your Brain is a Butler

I was talking to the kids about CONCENTRATION. I told them that concentration is when you are thinking attentivly. I taught the word "attend" by using the example of a butler.

A butler will attend to your every need. He will wash your socks, fix your food, get you toys--what ever you need, he will do. I told them that when you concentrate, you brain is like a butler to whatever you are concentrating on.

Martin (1st grade) said, "I have a butler--my mom and dad--they cook for me!"

I also told them that they can be butlers for their teacher. I know their parents told them to do whatever their teacher tells them to do, so in a sense they are butlers for their teacher. I also told them that their teacher will never tell them to wash her socks!

I DID NOT TAPE HIM DOWN!

Just for the record--C.J. (kindergartener) was NOT taped to his seat!

However, C.J. was having trouble staying in his seat and I WANTED to tape him to it. I decided to take a chance. I know C.J.'s mom and I hoped she would approve of what I did, but I want to make it clear that he was NOT taped to his seat. I laid a piece of tape across C.J.'s lap and told him to imagine that he was taped to his seat. The deal was, If my class ended and he was still "taped down" then he would recieve a sticker. C.J. was very excited to try it.

He succeded.

I would like to take full credit for this idea, but I actually heard about it a long time ago when I was training to be a teacher. I heard that you can do the same thing with a piece of string if you are worried about being sued, but like I said, "I DID NOT TAPE HIM DOWN!!!!!!"

A Good Leader

This morning I saw Hannah (3rd grade) tying a kindergartener's shoe. Then, I saw her walking with her to make sure she made it o.k. to the cafeteria. Next, I saw her sitting with the kid at breakfast. Then later at breakfast, I was cleaning up a mess near where they were sitting and Hannah offered me her napkin to help clean up the mess.

I told all of this to a group of 5th graders as an example of leadership. I want them to be leaders for the younger kids at our school. One of the 5th grade girls remembered that when she was in kindergarten, she was lost and a 4th grader helped her find her class. She says that she never forgets that time. I asked her if she knew the 4th graders’ name and she didn't. It made me so proud of that kid--even though I didn't know who it was--I knew that it had to be one of my students at that time. I almost cried--but that doesn't make me a sissy--just a sensitive tough guy, right?

I Learned to Drive in Kindergarten

I am trying to teach the kindergarteners to walk in line. I compare it to when their parents are driving:


What happens if someone cuts in front of your mom in traffic? Does she honk at them? Sometimes. Does she say, "I'll show them!" and ram her car into theirs? NO! You have to be like that in line. You can't just shove another kid outta line just because they cut in front of you! You have to "honk" at them. Tell them, "Please don't cut in front of me."

Sometimes when your mom honks at people, they are rude to her. Sometimes when you tell a kid not to cut in front of you, they will be rude to you. You will learn that there are rude people all over the world, there's not much you can do about that. The rude people will learn their lesson the hard way. Someday they will be rude to their boss and get fired, or they will be rude to a policeman and get in trouble. You can teach them a lesson in kindness. If a kid sticks his tongue out at you, you just smile and wave at them.

At this point Jalen raises his hand, "If someone honks at my mom, she gives them the fanger!"

That's Gotta Hurt!

I walked into the classroom after all of the kids had entered the room. Joseph, a third grader, was doubled up on the floor with his hands around his mid-section. I asked him what was wrong and his response was, "He kicked me in my journals!"

New Vocabulary

"Do we posta?"

translation: Are we required to?

example: Mr. Bowers, do we posta bring a pencil to Drama Class?

The First Metaphore of the Year

It's only the second day of school and I have already busted out a new metaphore.

Tony is a new 4th grader at our school and he, "don't trust nobody," and he is "tired of my teacher always telling me about her rules". I tried to tell him why his teacher is trying to get him to "run with the herd".

Your teacher is a cowboy. She is driving her herd across the country and trying her best to protect them. What happens if one of the cows tries to run away from the herd and get off into the canyon? There could be rattlesnakes, coyotes, scorpions--who knows what else! What do the cowboys do when one of the cows runs off? They go and rope 'em and bring 'em back to the herd. That's what your teacher is trying to do, she is trying to protect you and keep you safe and teach you how to be independent. Now go and be a good cow.

Tony said, "I don't get it."

Where Have I Been?

In the Philippines with my wife! We had a family wedding to attend so we saved up our money and hit the road--or the air--whatever. Anyway, I have many stories to tell, but just one today.

The town where my family lives is in Dumaguete in Negros Oriental on the Island of Negros in the Philippines. In the town is Silliman University and the it has a school for all ages--starting in elementary! (I might just have to move there to teach for a few years.) The school is the best in the country for learning English, so most of the people in the town speak it pretty well--which worked out great for me!

One day my wife, brother-in-law and I were walking past the elementary school just as it was letting out. Of course, I was pretty much the only white guy in the town so I was used to all the kids freaking out when they saw me walking around, however I was surprised when one of the little Philippino kids started talking to me. She looked to be in about 2nd grade:

LITTLE PENOY: Hello, sir, how are you?
ME: I am fine.
LITTLE PENOY: What is your name?
ME: I am Mr. Bowers, what is your name?
LITTLE PENOY: My name is Margarette, it's nice to meet you.
ME: Nice to meet you too!

So there I was, so impressed with this little kid speaking such fluent English, when my wife says to me, "You know her teacher probably tells the kids to practice their English whenever they see an American!"

Suddenly I had flashbacks of my 8th grade Spanish classes.

Wade

Wade is this really cool kid who I may never see again. I have known him and his two brothers and sister for two years now. His real dad is in prison and he lives with his mom and step dad. His step dad got arrested and now his mom can't afford to pay the rent. She works at Wal-Mart and they just don't pay enough to cover a three bedroom apartment.

Wade wants to drive trucks when he grows up and he even has this card collection of truckers and their rigs (like baseball cards). He keeps the cards in a binder and always has them with him. He says that he is going to be a good father some day because he has learned from all the mistakes of his two previous fathers. Most of all, he says that he is never gonna drink beer.

Lines of Symmetry

I did a cool lesson on symmetry in summer school last week. I put a long tape line in the middle of the room and divided the kids up into two groups. One group would make a disign with their bodies on one side of the taped line and then the other group would have to create the same design on their side of the line. I would then take a picture of the kids using a digital camera and show it to them so they could see if the pictrure that they created had symmetry. It was a big hit with the kids and I think they actually learned what symmetry was.

Magnet

Today is my first day of summer school. This new kid walks up with his mom and she is telling me at the door what a bad kid he is. I quickly get him as far away from his mom as possible.

The funny thing is, the kid is not so bad. He does good work. He makes a few jokes. He seems intelligent. Then lunchtime rolls around. He has somehow pinpointed the group of kids who ARE the "bad" ones in the class and is sitting with them! I couldn't believe it! He is like a magnet!

I told his mom after school--and the kid--that he's not as bad as she thinks he is. The problem is that he’s just not a good friend picker.

Summer School Blues

I'm only subbing in summer school this year. I kinda messed up during the application process for teaching summer school and ended up just getting a substitute position. I guess that's gonna be ok, because I will enjoy the days off.

I am a real chicken because I only signed up to sub at my own school which will be so much easier because I already know all of the kids. More importantly, the kids know me and they know that I don't play around when it comes to horsing around in class--at least THEY are not allowed to horse around! Hey, it's summer school!

Actually, I really do buckle down in summer school. I almost work more on self control with the kids than anything else. If the kids who are in danger of repeating are the same ones who are getting in trouble for not listening, then the problem is not always with their skills--just their control. My first day is this Friday. 2nd grade--my specialty!

Summer school is like an all-star game for the class clowns. You can have five class clowns all in the same room! I have to really go back to basics with some of them:

A couple of summers ago, I taught this one kid to actually raise his hand in class--a skill he didn't pick up in kinder or first grade.
I once taught a class of 2nd graders to walk in a straight line! I took 30 minutes, but we got it!
I will teach some of them to say the words, "Please don't do that, it bothers me."
The other kids will work on saying, "OK, I'm sorry."
Instead of hitting back, we will practice saying, "Hey! Why you hittin' me, huh?"

The Bad With the Good

Right after a good week of kids coming to the school with good news about how they are succeeding, the last visitor was kind of a downer.

Two fifth grade boys came by and delayed me from getting to my car on the last day of school, telling me some of the newest corniest things they had done in the past year at their new school. Luckily they delayed me just long enough for Desiree to come strolling up.

She is fresh off of failing the 7th grade. She looked pretty bad. Her eyebrows were all painted on and her hair was dyed and faded. She was happy so see me, but she seemed a little ashamed when she told me the news. I talked to her and her friend Kailyn (another former student still on the right path) for about 15 minutes and then took them to see their 4th grade teacher and get some encouragement from her.

From evertyhing she told me it has been a rough year and she says she is very regretful. I hope she means it. Her Dad's path and mine cross occasionally and he told me she was having a tough time, but I thought that meant that she was getting B's or something, she was a great student in elementary. Next time a parent tells me something like that, I will take them more seriously.

MJ's Dad

I would see MJ's dad up at the school quite a bit while his kids were here. His mom was always up here helping out as a valuable PTO member. His dad would be kinda cheking things out. He used to say, "If I was having a house built, I would check on things while they were building it. Making sure it had a solid foundation and everything. I am doing the same with my kids."

MJ

Today I heard that MJ mentioned me in his speach as Valedictorina of his 8th grade class of about 150 kids. I was blown away that MJ had earned that honor. As you know, I teach Drama, however, there was one year that I just taught 2nd grade. I had a class of my own. MJ was one of my favorites--and he was a mess at times.

He used to get so mad that he would turn into The Hulk! He hated it when he would lose his temper because he usually cried at some point during his rage. I told him one day, "MJ, if you get really mad and feel like you're gonna 'Hulk out' then you have permission to run out of the room and go hug the tree outside the classroom." See, my room was outside in one of the temporary buildings and I wanted him to release his anger on the tree instead of his classmates. He used the tree several times that year--usually because he didn't get a 100 on his spelling test.

He cried when he couldn't figure something out and felt like it was the end of the world. I remember the day we studied maps. I had him draw a map of a toy truck that he had, viewing it from above. He finally got it.

I taught him Drama in kinder, 1st, 3rd and 4th grade also so I was able to really watch him grow up. I went to several of his football games and taught both of his sisters. He has great parents--so friendly and they don't put up with any mess from any of their kids.

I know that he earned the Valedictorian title, because he was, without a doubt, the hardest working 2nd grader in my class.

They Don't Even Remember Space Jam

I was talking with some 4th graders about getting into a good book and enjoying reading when a Kindergarten kid name Owen walked by. I asked Owen to show the 4th graders how well he could read. He pulled out his book and started reading. One of the 4th graders (Shane) was very impressed with his reading skillzzz and asked him who his teacher was:

SHANE: Who is your teacher?
OWEN: Mrs. Johnson.
SHANE: Oh, I know this kid in there named Jordan. Do you know him?
OWEN: Oh yeah, Jordan's cool! He even has his name on his shoes!

(I about lost it. Shane did too, he got it immediately and we both bust out laughing.)

OWEN: No, really, his name is on his shoes right there (He points at his shoe).