Friday, September 29, 2006

Very Corny

One of my students jumped off the stairs while exiting the stage:

"Hey, if you want to jump down stairs you have to do it when your parents are around because I am not ABLE to take you to the HOSPITAL when you hurt yourself. That's because, I'm not HOSPITABLE. " -MR. BOWERS

*Sometimes teachers have to make jokes to amuse themselves.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

A New Hope

I walk through the office and find little first grader, Shakur, bawling his eyes out and shouting, “I DON’T WANT TO GET A U!!!!!!” The Assistant Principal asks me to take him for a walk and get him to calm down.

I take him outside and tell him, “When I’m feeling down, I get good feelings from the Sun.” I tell him to close his eyes and put his arms out and put his face up to the Sun. He does. He stops crying. I ask him to tell me what’s wrong. He immediately starts bawling again, “I DON’T WANT TO GET A U!!!!!!”

“Why not?” I ask. He tells me through the tears, “If I get a U, my mom will take away my video game.”

I am stunned for a second, then I rip off this rant, “What? A video game? A video game? Wait a minute, what system are you runnin’? A PS2? Me too. What’s your game? Star Wars Battlefront? Man, I OWN that game! What character do you play? Darth Maul? Man, I roll with Boba Fett. I love to fly up to the rooftops. You better hope I never get to play against you, I’ll tear you up!”

At this point, I have his attention off of his current dilemma. I ask him if he ever plays as Anakin. He says, “Sometimes.” I ask him if he knows who Anakin turns into. He knew that Anakin turned into Darth Vader. I ask him why he turned. He says, “He was tricked into being a bad guy.”

We talked about how angry Anakin was when he realized what he had done. I told Shakur that when I saw him in the office, he looked like HE was turning into Darth Vader. Shakur laughed. I asked if he remembered when Luke lost his hand. I told him, “It seemed like it was the end of Luke, but he came back stronger than ever. I asked him, “If you get a U in conduct for the day, are you going to give up, or come back strong and get an E in conduce tomorrow?” He shouted, “I’ll get an E!” I took him back to the office to face his Assistant Principal.

The Force is strong with this one.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

You've Got It Backwards

Kids will usually raise their hand to answer a question and then when you call on them they will reply, "Uhhh, Ummm..."

I tell them, "You have it backwards! You are raising you hand first and then thinking of an answer. The way to do it is to think first, then raise your hand when you have the answer so that when I call on you, you can shout out the answer immediatly."

Friday, September 08, 2006

stinky sounds

Today I heard someone make a stinky sound in the classroom and suspected that it might be a fake. I questioned the suspect.

"Did you make that stinky sound? (Yes) Did you make it with your mouth or your bottom? (My mouth) OK, well, that is unacceptable. Now, if you had made the stinky sound with your bottom that would have been acceptable. See, our human bodies sometimes make stinky sounds come out of our bottoms and we can't help it. It just comes out. If you make the stinky sound with your mouth, then you CHOOSE to make the sound. That's why it is unacceptable, because it disrupts the class."

"If someone next to you ever makes a stinky sound with their bottoms, the polite thing to do is to pretend that you didn't hear it and pretend (and hope!) that you didn't smell it. If you make a big deal out of the stinky sound it will embarrass the person that made it. If the stinky sound came out of YOUR bottom, wouldn't you hope that no one knew it was you who made it?"

(If only the kids knew how much I love to make stinky sounds!)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Everyone is Happier

My mom asked me how my school year has been going so far. Everyone is happier. Last year was so crazy because of Katrina. Every week new kids would show up with these dazed looks on their faces wondering how long they would stay at this school. Enevitably, they would move on out a few weeks later.

This year I was happy to see that many of the long-faced kids that came to our school because of the hurricane have stayed over the summer and are now shiny happy people! Last year there were unfortunate lables being placed on the children like, "the Katrina kids" or "the New Orleans kids". This year all the kids are with new teachers who don't care where they are from. This year they all have smiles on their faces and they are happier than I ever saw them last year.

This year I love and appreciate my job more than ever because of the changes in the faces of the kids I teach.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


I get the feeeling that I will be talking about George a whole bunch this year. George is a forth grader--for the second time. He came to our school from New Orleans last year near the end of the school year. I think his family is still mostly in Louisianna because he goes back almost every weekend. I would describe George as a combination of Woody Woodpecker and Bugs Bunny combined. He loves to talk and loves to act silly. He gets in trouble occasionally, but in a Woody and Bugs kind of way--nothing too serious.

Every morning he walks next to me on the track and we talk about life and what's happening and stuff. The other day a couple of boys walked by us and they were wearing their cub scout uniforms. (I must mention that these particular boys were pretty small because it is relevent to the story). I said to them, "Y'all look nice in your uniforms." George asked them, "What grade y'alls in?" One of them answered that they were in forth grade. George said, "WHAT?! FORTH GRADE!? Man, y'alls some sma--" George stopped what he was saying and looked at me with wide eyes like he was in trouble.

After the two boys had got a little ways ahead of me I complimented George, "That was nice, George. You were about to tell those boys how small they were, but you caught yourself, didn't you?" "How'd you know?" he asked. I told him, "Because I was thinking the same thing." I am proud of you for catching yourself. Now, would you have caught yourself if I wasn't standing beside you?" George thought about it. "No", he finally said. At least he is honest. I told him, "Hey, you gotta start catching yourself even when I'm not around. That will keep you outta trouble."