stinky sounds

Today I heard someone make a stinky sound in the classroom and suspected that it might be a fake. I questioned the suspect.

"Did you make that stinky sound? (Yes) Did you make it with your mouth or your bottom? (My mouth) OK, well, that is unacceptable. Now, if you had made the stinky sound with your bottom that would have been acceptable. See, our human bodies sometimes make stinky sounds come out of our bottoms and we can't help it. It just comes out. If you make the stinky sound with your mouth, then you CHOOSE to make the sound. That's why it is unacceptable, because it disrupts the class."

"If someone next to you ever makes a stinky sound with their bottoms, the polite thing to do is to pretend that you didn't hear it and pretend (and hope!) that you didn't smell it. If you make a big deal out of the stinky sound it will embarrass the person that made it. If the stinky sound came out of YOUR bottom, wouldn't you hope that no one knew it was you who made it?"

(If only the kids knew how much I love to make stinky sounds!)