the Golden Rule

Of all the things I teach (I am supposed to be teaching Drama) I stress the Golden Rule more than anything. It is so hard to get the kids to completely understand the Rule. Treat other people the way you want to be treated. I tell them to imagine that every other person on the planet is YOU. Everyone. Your mom is you. Your dad is you. Your teacher is you. All of your classmates are different versions of you. Think about how the world would be. Would there be any crime? Would people share with each other? Would there be any violence? Then I tell them the old shakespeare. If you prick my finger what will come out? Everyone is different, but there is the one thing that is constant. Everyone feels pain and can be hurt. DON'T HURT OTHER PEOPLE!!!

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Whenever two kids are trying to fight each other at school, I sometimes tell them, "Look, if you really want to fight this kid, why don't you invite him and his family over to your house. Then you and he can fight each other in the yard while your families watch and cheer you on." This usually gets them to start thinking about why they are fighting. I tell them that school is my job, and that there is no fighting allowed where I work. I also tell them something that Will Smith's grandmother told him and that I heard him recall in an interview. She said, "Will, truly intelegent people don't fight with their fists, they fight with their words."

Sometimes a kid will say, "Mr. Bowers, my mom told me that if someone hits me, I should hit them back. I ask them if they would bite a dog if he bit them first. Then I explain that their parents don't want them to be bullied around, but they want them to be smart. I tell them, "I think your parents mean that if you are being attacked, then you might have to fight back to protect yourself. When you get hit you have a choice. You can hit back, or ask the person why they are hitting you and try to figure out the problem. Hitting doesn't solve anything.

teeth and crying

Every time a kid tells me that he lost a tooth, I tell them to retrace their steps. This really confuses them. Sometimes, I will get the whole class to start looking on the ground real quick. The kid will usually start yelling, "No, no that's not what I meant!" I love it!
One time a kindergarten girl from Columbia told me, "Mr. Bowers, my tooth fell off."
I always argue with the kids about the price of teeth. When I was a kid the tooth fairy would usually give me a quarter. Nowadays, the kids sometimes get up to TWENTY DOLLARS! That is crazy! I tell the kids to leave the tooth fairy a note telling him that the price has gone up and that if he wants to buy a tooth, that it will cost him one hundred dollars! I haven't heard from any parents about this yet, but I bet I will soon.
Yesterday a class was walking down the hall and one of the kids was crying. I pretended not to see him and I stopped and told the kids to listen as I looked up at the ceiling. They all got real quiet and listened. All you could hear was the boy crying. As I looked at the ceiling I said, "Shhh, listen, someone's crying up there." The kid who was crying bust out laughing and yelled out, "It's me Mr. Bowers!" Turns out he just had a toothache.

Monday's are great!

One of the strange things about being a teacher is that the days of the week are kinda reversed. On Monday, the kids are real tired and so they sit real still and don't talk much. As for me, I am well rested and my tolerance is at a high. By the time Friday rolls around, the kids are climbing the walls and I have no tolerance.

Well, this past Friday, I told the kids when they walked into the room that my fuse was about "this long" and made the little thumb and forefinger signal for short. Well, the kids behaved really well, and we had a good time. As the kids were walking out, one kid says, "Mr. Bowers, your fuse looks longer now".

Mr. Bowers took my snack!

I teach Elementary School Drama and there are so many strange things that happen at my job. One time as the kindergarteners were leaving my room, I was giving them high fives. After all of the kids had left, I looked at my hand, and there was a nice rolled up booger stuck on the side of my finger. I then realized that some kid was gonna have to deal with the fact that Mr. Bowers had taken his snack.