He Can't Hitchhike Either

For some reason the squirrels on our campus have been making a nest in the internet wire box outside.

Today, the school district caught a squirrel in one of their cage\trap thingys.

MR. BOWERS: Oh, look 2nd graders, they caught a squirrel!
LIZBETH: He can't get out because he doesn't have any thumbs.

Where You Goin?

MR. BOWERS: Ashton! You aren't supposed to be out here in the T-Building area in the morning! You need to be in the Kindergarten Hallway with your class.
ASHTON: But, I'm 'lergic to hallways :(

Old English?

My second graders, yesterday:

PEYTON: Shakespeare? That's what they speak in Harry Potter!
AARON: No, that's Parselmouth!

Money Maker

The other day, Aaron showed up wearing a hoodie and not letting anyone see his hair. Apparently, he had tried to cut his own hair and messed up and his mom was making him wear the haircut as punishment. I told him to OWN it and tell his classmates what happened. Then, tell 'em if they want you to cut their hair too, it'll cost 'em $5.

What Are Ancestors?

NICHOLAS (2ND GRADE): An ancestor is like my great, great, great, caveman grandfather.

Dear Cupid,

Can you please NEVER make Valentines Day happen on a school day EVER AGAIN!!!

Sincerely,

Teachers