Paranormal Gasses

One of the First Graders passed gas in a really loud way!  Before I could say anything, Parker shouts out, "IS THERE A GHOST IN HERE?"

I can't wait to use this one on my dad.  He passes gas quite often and blames it on, "Barking spiders."

A Kinder Spider

As I was getting ready to call roll, I slid my chair in front of the class:


KATE:  Yeeees, sit on your precious TUFFET.

Wolves Eat Pigs.

Xavier is a 1st grader and we were doing puppets today.  Xavier chose the Wolf puppet:

XAVIER:  I am a wolf and I like to eat PORK!

Charolette's Something

There are plenty of bilingual kids at our school, and they say the darnd'est things:

LESLI:  Mr. Bowers, there is something of the spider there!
MR. BOWERS:  What??
LESLI:  There is SOMETHING of the spider there!
MR. BOWERS:  Uhh, you mean a WEB?
LESLI:  Yes, there is a web of the spider there!

Gifted

One of our 2nd grade teachers said, "Some of my gifted children haven't opened their gifts yet."

Wild Child

This Wild Child has been out of control since PreK and is now in 1st grade.  I decided that it would be best for her to sit in the front of the rug on the purple squares.  She shouts out that she wants to sit on THE RED SQUARES--which were on the back!  I had a great idea!  I got everyone to move off of the rug, turned it around so the red was on the front and asked everyone to sit back down.  Wild Child went back to her seat on a RED SQUARE which was now in the front of the room.  However, she remained WILD.  I'll try again next time.

Listening With Respect

To show respect to your teacher, you should listen to her like she's the favorite part of your favorite movie.  If she calls on one of your classmates to speak, then they are your new favorite part. If someone next to you is talking out of turn, encourage them to also watch and listen to your "favorite part!"