First Grade Goal

MR. BOWERS:  Hey, Joshua, what do you want to be when you grow up?
JOSHUA:  An UNCLE!!!

TMI

NAMELESS THIRD GRADER:  My baby brother is always bothering me!
MR. BOWERS:  Yeah, but is he bothering you because he's mean or is he still just a baby?
NAMELESS THIRD GRADER:  He's not a baby, he's three years old--but he's still drinking my momma's milk!!
MR. BOWERS: ...

He Must Be Big

JOCELYN:  I had to share my Husky dog with my Aunt because my Husky doesn't fit in my house but it fits in her house.

MR. BOWERS:  Why doesn't he fit in your house?

JOCELYN:  It's because my dad buys a bunch of furniture and it takes up big space.

Tiny Bars of Soap

MR. BOWERS:  Yeah, so we got a cat and he has fleas, so this weekend we had to give him a flea bath.

YARA:  What?  How do you give fleas a bath?

Old School

MR. BOWERS:  Ohhhh, Kaitlyn, I like those shoes!  You know, those are Converse All-Stars, but people call them, "Chuck's" because of the name, Chuck Taylor there on the logo.  Those shoes have been around a long time, they're old school!
KAITLYN:  No, they brand new.

We All Figure it Out Sometime

NIA:  Hey, Mr. Bowers, I just figured out that my birthday is the same day I was BORN!!!