Talk To It!

ITZEL: Mr. Bowers, Elijah told me to "talk to the butt."
MR. BOWERS: Well, did you talk to it?
ITZEL: NO!!
MR. BOWERS: Aww, you should have! You could have told it, "HEY! YOU STINK!"

The Joke's on Me

I was joking with Madajah (2nd grade) because my coffee was sitting right where she was working:

MR. BOWERS: Hey! I see you trying to drink my coffee--don't you drink my coffee!
MADAJAH: I only drink de-caff.

The Preamble

The Music teacher, and I are putting together our annual production of School House Rock. Today she videoed one of the songs as we were practicing outside.

Trash on Campus

So, I guess I'm kind of mean sometimes, like when I find a piece of wadded up paper on the ground and it is some kids' schoolwork, I will see if the kids' name is on it and take it to them like it is something important that they "lost". I don't give them a speach about littering or anything, but I make a big deal about it, like they should thank me, as if I have recovered their missing property.

PreK-Bilingual

MR. BOWERS: OK, who can give me a "D" word?
LESLIE: Mis-DUH-Bowers.

It's Not The Cutters That Bother Me

I get tired of all the kids tattle-telling on the line cutters. I've started telling them, "Hey, people are gonna cut in line--it just happens--even adults cut each other off in traffic. If cutting bothers you, then line up at the back of the line, nobody cuts in line back there."

3rd Grade Joke

Q: Where does Captain Hook like to shop?
A: The Second Hand Store.

But It's Wednesday

Yesterday after school.

CECILIA (first grade): I love when it's Thursday 'cuz then tomorrow it's Friday.

Anyone?...Anyone?...

MR. BOWERS: Ok, 5th graders, so, today we're doing group improv's. Your group will have one minute to plan out your scene...the first scene is called "Elderly people go bird watching"...anyone?...no? Ok, who wants to do this scene called, "Kids bring home a very unusual pet and their parents won't let them keep it"?....anyone?...no. Okaaaay. "First day working at McDonalds"??? No one? Well, how about this one, "Robbers breaking into a safe in a bank?"

ALL 5TH GRADERS: ME! ME! PICK US! WE'LL DO THAT ONE!!!!

MR. BOWERS: (sigh)