From Mrs. Farley

STUDENT: Mrs. Farley, you are like our mother, we spend all day with you!
ANOTHER STUDENT: Great! Now Mrs. Farley has 24 unwanted children.

Oops.

MR. BOWERS: I just gave the quiet sign! Raise your hand if you didn't hear it!


At this point, Paul raises his hand. I forgot that Paul is a hearing impaired lip reader.

Snow Cone Win

We had 2nd and 3rd Grade Field Day today:

FORRIS: I want another snow cone!!!
MR. BOWERS: Sorry, you only get one--but when you grow up and get a job, you can buy your own snow cone machine and have a many as you want.
DESTINY: My dad has a snow cone machine, and it serves ALCOHOL flavored snow cones!


mmm. I bet they're green.

Reached The End of Her Rope

Our walls are pretty thin at our school and sometimes you can hear what's happening in the classrooms as you walk past:

2ND GRADE TEACHER: I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER THING ABOUT FAT MAMMAS!!!

Secrets

MR. BOWERS: Hey, Desmond (1st grade) did your dad tell you that I am friends with him on Facebook?
DESMOND: No, but my dad always be keepin' secrets.

Monday Morning Blues

I walked into the school this wonderful Monday morning and found a 1st grader BAWLING!

MR. BOWERS: Marcus! What's the matter?
MARCUS: I left my Pokemon book at my dad's house! WAAAA!!!
MR. BOWERS: Hey! It's ok, at least you didn't lose the book! Think how sad you would be if you LOST your book!
MARCUS: WAAAA!!!
MR. BOWERS: Heeey, don't worry, you can get it back from your dad, when will you see him again?
MARCUS: I don't know, he drives a boat.

Bathroom Humor

I was walking past the restroom and heard some commotion. As I entered, I saw two 3rd graders both standing in the stall looking into the toilet. I quietly walked up behind them to see what they were looking at when I heard this discussion:

DEVIN: See, those brown marks in the toilet? They are make from dookie.
AARON: Yeah, it's dookie.
MR. BOWERS: I THINK IT IS DOOKIE, YOU'RE RIGHT!!!

They just about jumped out of their skin.

Not Impressed

I had to cover a 3rd Grade class for a minute while their teacher was away. I had a book in my hand, "Alice in Wonderland" and it had all of the other stories and poems that Carrol wrote, so it has about 1,600 pages--a really BIG book.

I asked the kids if they wanted to hear some of it. I opened to where my bookmark was and started to read. Not two seconds in to my reading--complete with English accent--Scarlett raises her hand:

SCARLETT: What page are you actually on?
MR. BOWERS: 35.
SCARLETT: Oh. :(
(pause)
MR. BOWERS: HEY! I JUST GOT THE BOOK THE OTHER DAY!

Let's Pretend

Here's a way to get through a lesson with a tough group youngsters:

Let's pretend that all of you are perfect students--and I'll pretend that I'm a perfect teacher! Ready, GO!