Just Doin' My Job

Letter from a parent:

So I pick Sarah up yesterday and as she's getting into the car, she's so excited she can hardly speak straight..."Mommy, Mr. Bowers pulled a quarter out of my ear today for my birthday! I watched him real close and I don't know how he did it. He knows real magic!". Forget I drove to the donut store at 6:15 am for a chocolate donut with pink sprinkles, brought her a Happy Meal to school for lunch, lugged 24 melting cookie ice cream sandwiches to the school cafeteria in a cooler for her class to celebrate...the best part of her birthday day was having Mr. Bowers pull a quarter out of her ear. You rock, Mr. Bowers!

My response:

Maybe next time you'll bring twenty FIVE cookie ice cream sandwiches.

The Sto

MR. BOWERS:  Awww, I love those shoes, where did you get them?

DAGEN (KINDERGARTNER): At the sto.

MR. BOWERS:  Which store?

DAGEN:  Huh???

Sto--kindergarten definition:  The place where I get stuff like toys and candy--essentials.  I don't have to know one sto from another, they're all the same to me--I don't even have to know my way around the sto, I get to ride in a basket.

Maury Much?

Osa is a child with Autism so sometimes he says very random things or repeats things he heard earlier.  Yesterday, he cracked me up:

OSA:  You are NOT the father!

Mind Gardeners

MR. BOWERS:  Your teacher works for YOU.  You know that right?  You and your family pay taxes and those taxes are used to pay firefighters, teachers, policemen....so, what if you hired a gardener to work for you to build a nice flower bed outside your front door, so you could smell the wonderful flowers whenever you walked outside.  Then, when the gardener is out there building the garden, you SPRAY HIM WITH THE WATER HOSE!  Then, when he's planting the flowers, you RELEASE A HIVE OF BEES!  Would he want to do a good job working for you?

CLASS:  Noooo.

MR. BOWERS:  He's gonna finish that job as fast as possible and move on to the next job.  He's not going to want to do a good job for you! 
Well, your teacher is like the gardener of your mind, and she's WORKING ON YOU!  Every day!  Don't bother her with all this tattling, talking too much and bothering each other...and...don't spray her with water and release bees on her.

CLASS:  Okaaaaaaay.

Caroline is Blond BTW

--WEDNESDAY MORNING--

(Caroline, 4th grade safety patrol,  is wearing fashionable jeans with fashionable torn knees.)

MR. BOWERS: Hey, you should wear those jeans to church.
CAROLINE: Why?
MR. BOWERS:  Because they're "holy."
CAROLINE:  Hahahahaha.

--THURSDAY MORNING--

(enter ERIN, wearing fashionably torn jean jacket)

MR. BOWERS:  Hey, Caroline, Erin should wear that jacket to church, huh?
CAROLINE:  Uhh, yeah, because it's torn and she could donate it.
ERIN:  ?
MR. BOWERS:  (sigh.)