That Other Movie

MR. BOWERS:  Hey, kindergarterers, do any of you like the movie. "Annie?"
DIAMOND:  I like BROWN Annie!

Pushing

MR.BOWERS:  I'm tired of y'all pushing and shoving all the time!  Y'all can't even line up without all this PUSHING!! If y'all like pushing SO MUCH, why don't you go hang out around the SWING SET?  There are children out on the swings RIGHT NOW just WISHING or somebody to PUSH them! You'd be the most popular kid in school!!!

Excuses

MR. BOWERS: Ma'am, we have told the children all week that they are NOT to bring ANY of their Halloween candy to school...your son knew better.
PARENT:  Well, he probably didn't know he had it.
MR. BOWERS:  Ummm, he "had it" in his mouth...so...

Way Too Little

Today, I was helping a preK class get their drink from the water fountains:

MR. BOWERS:  Ok, y'all, some of y'all are taking waaaay too long! Get you a drink and move on, don't sit there and drink up all the water!

(The next kid in line must have JUST turned four, because her little arms and fingers couldn't even push the button hard enough to get any water out!)

TALEAH:  Oh, someone must have drinked all this one.

That's All?

One of the preK'ers was really studying my new watch--which is just the basic two hands and numbers kind of watch--nothing special. After a little bit, the curiosity finally took over. He blurts out, "What does your watch do?"

A Cucumber, Maybe?

I was talking about being proactive with the 1st Graders:

MR. BOWERS: Ok, so what else will we need for a beach trip? What can we put over our eyes to help block the sun?
SEBASTIAN:  A PICKLE!!!
MR. BOWERS:  ???
SEBASTIAN: Because pickles are cold!

Politics Ain't my Thang

AUBRIE (1st Grade girl):  Mr. Bowers, have you heard of Donald Trump?
MR. BOWER: Yes, I know who he is.
AUBRIE:  He wants to get rid of all the Mexicans, and I AM A MEXICAN!!
MR. BOWERS: He can't get rid of you, I WON'T LET HIM!!!

In Case of Storm...

Last week, there was a huge storm brewing outside and the thunder was super LOUD!  I thought I could head off any problems by calmly talking to my frightened kindergartners:

MR. BOWERS:  Heeeey, y'all, we're inside!  We're safe from the storm.  In fact, pretty much the only thing that could happen is that the lights may go out; you know, we may lose power.  If the lights go out, just stay calm and I will open the door and let more light in.  In fact, we can practice!  I am going to walk over and turn out the lights and we can see what it will look like if we lose power!  Then, if we lose electricity there will be nothing to be afraid of!

(Mr. Bowers calmly goes over and switches off the lights.)

KINDER CLASS:  AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kinder Talk

TYSON:  Mr. Bowers, last night I got to watch 101 DONATIONS.

That is What They Use, Afterall

After our first graders production of Frog and Toad, the kids were helping us put up all the folding chairs. I had a chair in each hand, so I flipped one of them up and caught it at the other end so I could put it away on the rack. I hear one of the first graders comment:

Ooohh, Mr. Bowers look like he 'bout to hit somebody with that WRESTLING CHAIR.

Sew Sweet

Jodi is a 2nd grader. She noticed that my Goldilocks puppet had a torn dress and offered to take it home to sew it. She brought it back the next day:

MR. BOWERS: Wow! Great job! Dd your mom help you?
JODI: No, sir.
MR. BOWERS:  Well, I bet she is super proud of you.
JODI:  I don't know.
MR. BOWERS: Didn't you show her?
JODI:  No, sir.


A week or so later Jodi came up to the music teacher and I offering to sell us some chocolate covered strawberries. Then she got out a little notebook and took our order. Then the music teacher asked her what she was raising money for--you know, was it for a club or something?

JODI:  Nah, I'm just helping raise money to give to my mom to help pay for rent. :(

We each contributed $5 and said a prayer for such a sweet, kind and loving student!

A Beating From the Future

In about 60 years, that girl might just be a GRANDMA!! What if YOUR Grandma told you that some boy used to bother her when she was a little girl? Wouldn't you want to go back in time and beat that boy up? Well? Do you want some kid from the future coming back in time to hunt you down?  TREAT THESE GIRLS WITH RESPECT!

Pay Attention in Math

Sara lost one of her little kindergarten teeth. I told her to let me know how much money she gets from the tooth fairy.  I got my answer the very next day--kinda:

SARA: Mr. Bowers, the tooth fairy came!
MR. BOWERS:  That's great, Sara, how much did the Tooth Fairy give you for your tooth?
SARA: He gave me ELEVEN!
MR. BOWERS:  Wow! Eleven what?  Eleven dollars? Eleven cents?
SARA: ...Eleven money!

Okaaaaaay

OKIKI:  Mr. Bowers, Za'Qualyn is making fun of my name.

So Polite!

As I was walking down the hall today, I see Roman (2nd grader) come out of his classroom and stand right outside the door:

MR. BOWERS:  Howdy, Roman!  Are you in trouble or something?
ROMAN:  Nope, just needed to step outside the room.
MR. BOWERS:  Ahh, were you getting upset and needed to calm down?
ROMAN:  Nope.
MR. BOWERS:  Well, why are you in the hallway?
ROMAN:  Just needed to pass gas.
MR. BOWERS:  Ahhh, excellent!


Then, Roman turned and walked back into the room.

My Bad

(Dykiya's teacher is on her way to pick up the class from Drama. Dykiya spots her rounding the corner.)

DYKIYA:  Mr. Bowers, there go our teacher.
MR. BOWERS: No, no Dykiya, you mean, "THEY go our teacher," no, no...wait a minute...it's  "Here comes our teacher."  That's the one!

Everybody makes mistakes .

They Call Me Lando

MR. BOWERS:  Hey, Orlando? Have you ever considered going by the name, "Lando?" You know, like Lando Calrissian from Star Wars?
ORLANDO: No.
MR. BOWERS: You like Star Wars don't you?
ORLANDO:   Yes.

(The next day.)

LANDO:  Hey, Mr. Bowers, they call me Lando, now.
RICHARD: Yeah, he's Lando.
MR. BOWERS:  Awwwww, you old scalawag!