I Eat That Also!

I was passing out the alphabet puppets for the PreK kids and the letter V-VULTURE went to... 

 AIDEN: My puppet eats DEAD FOOD!

This Witch Likes Cute Boys

RILEY (kinder): In the story, "Handsome and Gretle," the witch tries to eat Handsome.

Teaching From Home

Howdy!  I've been teaching Drama from home now, so now anyone can see my class!  Here was the first lesson I submitted and I was super nervous because I only had a few hours to get it together and it had to be 30 minutes. <3 p="">

https://blogs.houstonisd.org/hisdtv/2020/04/17/3rd-5th-fine-arts-theatre-acting-a-story/

Nice Costume

When a kid shows up with an injured wrist or some other injury that requires them to have a bandage wrapped around their arm or leg, I’ll say to the kid, “Nice start to your Mummy costume—if you finish it, no one will even know you’re injured.”

Mr. Bowers, He Pushed Me.

You know, if you like pushing so much, you should hang out by the swingset. You would be the most popular kid in school.

That's a New One

OLIVE (Kindergartner):  Awwww, I wish I had a little sister.
MR. BOWERS:  Olive, be careful what you wish for...haven't you heard the expression, "The grass is always greener on the other side"?
OLIVE: No, the only expression I have ever heard is, "Hold on to your hat."
MR. BOWERS: ???

The Song of the Fire

(LOUD FIRE ALARM SOUND During Bilingual Kindergarten)

ISABELLA:  Ohhhh, I'm scared!
MR. BOWERS:  Don't worry, it isn't a real fire.
CAMILA:  Yes, it's only the song.
MR. BOWERS:  ...That's right...it's only the song of the fire!


Now, that's what I will always call fire alarms and fire truck sirens.  I guess now police cars also make the song of the criminal.

Shouting Out

It drives me crazy when kids shout out stuff while I'm giving directions!  If they would just LISTEN!!!

MR. BOWERS:  Ok, now, we are going to move our bodies as though we are in an earthquake...
SANJEEV:  Oh! Oh! Can we pretend that it's an earthquake in Mexico, because--
MR. BOWERS:  Sanjeev!  It's just an earthquake--I don't care where it's happni--
SANJEEV:  Because--
MR. BOWERS:  IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE IT IS!!! It could be on MARS happening 1,000 years from now for all I care, it just needs to be an EARTHQUAKE!
SANJEEV:  That would be a MARSQUAKE!
MR. BOWERS:  SANJEEEEEEV!!!!!!......ok, that was pretty funny.

The Smelly Hand

Sometimes, when a class does really good, I give them The Smelly Hand, which means that I put a cool flavor of chap stick on their hand.  Today one of the kinder kids said, "Oooh, that smells heck of good!"

Evil Music Teacher

When playing the Recorder, your thumb should be behind the recorder.  The Music teacher tells the kids that it's like they are hiding their thumb from her...

MUSIC TEACHER:  If I see your thumb, I'm gonna chop it off and put it in my jar of thumbs!!
THE CLASS:  (GASP!!)
TIANNA:  You never know...people have secrets.

Selective Memory

A kid returned a book to the library that they found inside the Beans Bin at the local grocery store.  We looked up who checked it out last and then found the kid and asked him about it...

MR. BOWERS:  Leonel, did you shove this book into a bin of beans at the store?
LEONEL:  Umm, you know, I kind of don't remember things sometimes...

Bossy Evil First Grader

MR. BOWERS: Joseph, please go to your seat...Joseph, PLEASE go to your seat...NOW Joseph, please go to your seat!

JOSEPH:  Shut up!

MR. BOWERS:  Ummmm, Joseph, were you talking to me?  Did I just hear you tell me to SHUT UP?

JOSEPH:  Yeah, because you won't stop talking.

So Punny

COLE:  Mr. Bowers, I'm gonna give you a knuckle sandwich!
MR. BOWERS: No, thanks, Cole, I'm not hungry.
COLE:  No, that means I'm gonna give you a PUNCH!
MR. BOWERS:  I'm not thirsty either, and besides, punch has too much sugar in it--
COLE: NOOO, that means your gonna get some PAYBACK!
MR. BOWERS:  Cole, I never loaned you money, you don't owe me any payback!
COLE:  AAAGGGHHH!!!

Bad Case of the Stripes

EMERSON (1st Grader)  Where's Kamryn today?

MADELINE:  She's sick--she says she has a STRIPED throat.

Falling Teeth

WALLID:  (Kinder)  Mr. Bowers, I have a moving tooth!
MR. BOWERS:  And, what does it mean to have a moving tooth?
WALLID:  When your tooth is moving, it's about to fall down.

Another Time Period

MR. BOWERS:  Your Imagination Journey can happen in any place and even any time period.
MELIA:  Oooh!  We can even write about the olden days, like back in 1999.
MR. BOWERS:  The olden days, huh?  When were you born?
MELIA:  I was born in 2007.
MR. BOWERS:  Ok, then, yes, you can write about the olden days...way back in 1999.

 :-(

Not a Winning Tooth

Kindergartners are so funny when they don't know how to talk right!  haha!

NADINE:  Mr. Bowers, guess what? I have a LOSING tooth and I'm gonna get something from the tooth fairy!

Never Shaving Again

One of the Kindergardeners was in India for three months and just returned today:

MR. BOWERS:  Hey! Vedant, welcome back--do you remember me? When you left I had just shaved my beard! Now, it's grown back!

VEDANT:  Ohhh, yeah.

AKSHATA: Oh, yeah, I remember that--I thought you looked funny, but I didn't  say anything!

Yes...It Does.

Today, In Kinder Drama, I was trying to pantomime that I was playing a CD on a Boom Box:

MR. BOWERS:  C'mon, you kids know this!  What am I doing?
KIDS:  Dancing?  Playing music?
MR. BOWERS:  Yes, but where does music come from?
ZARA:  From a phone!

First Grade Goal

MR. BOWERS:  Hey, Joshua, what do you want to be when you grow up?
JOSHUA:  An UNCLE!!!

TMI

NAMELESS THIRD GRADER:  My baby brother is always bothering me!
MR. BOWERS:  Yeah, but is he bothering you because he's mean or is he still just a baby?
NAMELESS THIRD GRADER:  He's not a baby, he's three years old--but he's still drinking my momma's milk!!
MR. BOWERS: ...

He Must Be Big

JOCELYN:  I had to share my Husky dog with my Aunt because my Husky doesn't fit in my house but it fits in her house.

MR. BOWERS:  Why doesn't he fit in your house?

JOCELYN:  It's because my dad buys a bunch of furniture and it takes up big space.

Tiny Bars of Soap

MR. BOWERS:  Yeah, so we got a cat and he has fleas, so this weekend we had to give him a flea bath.

YARA:  What?  How do you give fleas a bath?

Old School

MR. BOWERS:  Ohhhh, Kaitlyn, I like those shoes!  You know, those are Converse All-Stars, but people call them, "Chuck's" because of the name, Chuck Taylor there on the logo.  Those shoes have been around a long time, they're old school!
KAITLYN:  No, they brand new.

We All Figure it Out Sometime

NIA:  Hey, Mr. Bowers, I just figured out that my birthday is the same day I was BORN!!!

Cowboy Haircut?

DAVID:  Mr. Bowers, today I get to go get my hair cut at a SALOON!

Sign of the Times

Lina is a Kindergartener...so, she's like 5 years old.  Maybe 6. 

I was headed to class this morning and I noticed a juice box on the floor.  I asked Lina if she would throw it away for me.  I saw her go to the trash can and pause.  I then saw her pull the straw out of the juice box and look at it for a second...then she threw away the juice box and took the straw to the recycling bin.  It just warmed my heart to see someone that age recycling!  That's all.  haha.

Yo Mamma

SARA:  Mr. Bowers, those boys are over there telling "Yo Mamma" jokes.
MR. BOWERS:  Thanks, Sara, I'll go check it out.

(Mr. Bowers walks over to the area where the jokesters were seated.)

CHAYNE:  Well, Yo Mamma--Yo Mamma..uhh (Chayne sees me coming.)
MR. BOWERS:  Yo Mamma is soooo AMAZING!  She can create LIFE--JUST LIKE GOD!  Right?  Doesn't God create life?  Didn't your mom create YOU!  And YOUR mom and HIS mom and MY mom!  When you tell jokes about someone's mom, it's like you are telling jokes against GOD.  People who go against God seem to have a tough life...Hey, y'all enjoy your breakfast.

mic. drop. exit.

Lion King

We were already in the workings of putting on Lion King before my father passed away.  I knew it would be tough because every time I hear He Lives in You, I tear up and sometimes outright bawl.   At rehearsals the other day, the later happened:

MR BOWERS:  See Nicco, the Raffiki are tricking Simba.  They tell him to that his father is alive!  They tell him to look into the water and he will see his father.  For a second, Simba gets excited--for a second, he thinks...

Only if Necesary

During Kinder Drama a fire alarm sounded:

MR. BOWERS:  That's the fire alarm, line up y'all.
AUSTIN:  Stop, drop and roll!
MICAH:  That's right!

Then, they rolled.

Burp.

MR. BOWERS:  Wow!  Those asian noodles I had for lunch are making my burps taste like Funyuns!
CLASS:  Ewwwwww!
MR. BOWERS:  No, it's not a bad thing, I like Funyuns.
CLASS:  Ohhhhh.
ISAIAH:  Yeah, Funyuns are good.

Help the Homeless Teacher

The Music Teacher was talking to the first graders about following the rules:

MS. DANOWSKI:  If I didn't follow the rules at work, what would happen to me?
KIRA:  You would get fired!
MS. DANOWSKI:  That's right!  Then, I wouldn't get any money to pay for a house to live in--I'd be homeless!
KIRA:   Ms. Danowski, if you were homeless, I could give you some money--I have a jar that I put money in to give to poor people.

This is Why

"My favorite teacher ever was my drama teacher in elementary school, Mr. Bowers. He and I had a special connection together. I'd star in his plays in a heartbeat. He knew how to use my talents. Even after elementary, we still talked to each other once in a while. Most of all, I'd like to thank him for giving my love of Drama and inspiring me to be a Director."

-Karim 7th Grader and former student of Mr. Bowers.

Not Quite

KAYLEE:  Mr. Bowers, my mom says that she knew someone who died in the World Trade Center when those planes blew it up.
MICHAEL:  Oh, she's talking about SEVEN-ELEVEN!
MR. BOWERS:  Close, umm, but it's actually called NINE-eleven.

Social Drama

Today in 5^th Grade Drama the kids were building scenes based on a given situation.  Katherine’s group was stuck in an elevator:

KATHERINE:  OMG, the elevator just stopped moving!  I need to TWEET this out!

CLAUDIA:  We need HELP!

KATHERINE:  Ok, I’ll take our picture and post it to my INSTAGRAM.  Hashtag—STUCK!

CLAUDIA:  You need to call 9-1-1!

KATHERINE:  Maybe I can SNAP CHAT with the police!

Then they all fell down like the elevator crashed, while I fell out of my chair laughing!

That Other Movie

MR. BOWERS:  Hey, kindergarterers, do any of you like the movie. "Annie?"
DIAMOND:  I like BROWN Annie!

Pushing

MR.BOWERS:  I'm tired of y'all pushing and shoving all the time!  Y'all can't even line up without all this PUSHING!! If y'all like pushing SO MUCH, why don't you go hang out around the SWING SET?  There are children out on the swings RIGHT NOW just WISHING or somebody to PUSH them! You'd be the most popular kid in school!!!

Excuses

MR. BOWERS: Ma'am, we have told the children all week that they are NOT to bring ANY of their Halloween candy to school...your son knew better.
PARENT:  Well, he probably didn't know he had it.
MR. BOWERS:  Ummm, he "had it" in his mouth...so...

Way Too Little

Today, I was helping a preK class get their drink from the water fountains:

MR. BOWERS:  Ok, y'all, some of y'all are taking waaaay too long! Get you a drink and move on, don't sit there and drink up all the water!

(The next kid in line must have JUST turned four, because her little arms and fingers couldn't even push the button hard enough to get any water out!)

TALEAH:  Oh, someone must have drinked all this one.

That's All?

One of the preK'ers was really studying my new watch--which is just the basic two hands and numbers kind of watch--nothing special. After a little bit, the curiosity finally took over. He blurts out, "What does your watch do?"

A Cucumber, Maybe?

I was talking about being proactive with the 1st Graders:

MR. BOWERS: Ok, so what else will we need for a beach trip? What can we put over our eyes to help block the sun?
SEBASTIAN:  A PICKLE!!!
MR. BOWERS:  ???
SEBASTIAN: Because pickles are cold!

Politics Ain't my Thang

AUBRIE (1st Grade girl):  Mr. Bowers, have you heard of Donald Trump?
MR. BOWER: Yes, I know who he is.
AUBRIE:  He wants to get rid of all the Mexicans, and I AM A MEXICAN!!
MR. BOWERS: He can't get rid of you, I WON'T LET HIM!!!

In Case of Storm...

Last week, there was a huge storm brewing outside and the thunder was super LOUD!  I thought I could head off any problems by calmly talking to my frightened kindergartners:

MR. BOWERS:  Heeeey, y'all, we're inside!  We're safe from the storm.  In fact, pretty much the only thing that could happen is that the lights may go out; you know, we may lose power.  If the lights go out, just stay calm and I will open the door and let more light in.  In fact, we can practice!  I am going to walk over and turn out the lights and we can see what it will look like if we lose power!  Then, if we lose electricity there will be nothing to be afraid of!

(Mr. Bowers calmly goes over and switches off the lights.)

KINDER CLASS:  AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kinder Talk

TYSON:  Mr. Bowers, last night I got to watch 101 DONATIONS.

That is What They Use, Afterall

After our first graders production of Frog and Toad, the kids were helping us put up all the folding chairs. I had a chair in each hand, so I flipped one of them up and caught it at the other end so I could put it away on the rack. I hear one of the first graders comment:

Ooohh, Mr. Bowers look like he 'bout to hit somebody with that WRESTLING CHAIR.

Sew Sweet

Jodi is a 2nd grader. She noticed that my Goldilocks puppet had a torn dress and offered to take it home to sew it. She brought it back the next day:

MR. BOWERS: Wow! Great job! Dd your mom help you?
JODI: No, sir.
MR. BOWERS:  Well, I bet she is super proud of you.
JODI:  I don't know.
MR. BOWERS: Didn't you show her?
JODI:  No, sir.


A week or so later Jodi came up to the music teacher and I offering to sell us some chocolate covered strawberries. Then she got out a little notebook and took our order. Then the music teacher asked her what she was raising money for--you know, was it for a club or something?

JODI:  Nah, I'm just helping raise money to give to my mom to help pay for rent. :(

We each contributed $5 and said a prayer for such a sweet, kind and loving student!

A Beating From the Future

In about 60 years, that girl might just be a GRANDMA!! What if YOUR Grandma told you that some boy used to bother her when she was a little girl? Wouldn't you want to go back in time and beat that boy up? Well? Do you want some kid from the future coming back in time to hunt you down?  TREAT THESE GIRLS WITH RESPECT!

Pay Attention in Math

Sara lost one of her little kindergarten teeth. I told her to let me know how much money she gets from the tooth fairy.  I got my answer the very next day--kinda:

SARA: Mr. Bowers, the tooth fairy came!
MR. BOWERS:  That's great, Sara, how much did the Tooth Fairy give you for your tooth?
SARA: He gave me ELEVEN!
MR. BOWERS:  Wow! Eleven what?  Eleven dollars? Eleven cents?
SARA: ...Eleven money!

Okaaaaaay

OKIKI:  Mr. Bowers, Za'Qualyn is making fun of my name.

So Polite!

As I was walking down the hall today, I see Roman (2nd grader) come out of his classroom and stand right outside the door:

MR. BOWERS:  Howdy, Roman!  Are you in trouble or something?
ROMAN:  Nope, just needed to step outside the room.
MR. BOWERS:  Ahh, were you getting upset and needed to calm down?
ROMAN:  Nope.
MR. BOWERS:  Well, why are you in the hallway?
ROMAN:  Just needed to pass gas.
MR. BOWERS:  Ahhh, excellent!


Then, Roman turned and walked back into the room.