You're Preachin' to the Choir

When the 1st grade teacher dropped off her class, she told me, "Mr. Bowers, can you talk to Dorian, I've had it with him."

I took the class into the room and put Dorian up on a chair--standing. I asked him why adults make children go to school. After a minute or so, I finally got him to come to the conclusion that we make kids go to school to learn how to someday become good adults.

Then I said to him, "Dorian, do you see how much taller you are than me when you are standing in this chair? Well, it won't be too many years until you ARE taller than me--for real! See, I'm only 5'4"--that's pretty short for an adult. You are gonna be way taller than me, and you need to learn how to behave appropriately."

Out of the blue, Quinlyn raises his hand. Quinlyn is a new student (he's only been in Dorian's class for two days) and this is the first time he has ever been to my Drama class. I wonder what he has to say, so I call on him. He says, "Dorian isn't a bad kid, he's just making bad choices."

BLEW MY MIND--FIRST GRADE!! THAT IS SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN TELLING THESE KIDS FOR YEARS!!! I'm always saying, there is no such thing as a bad kid--only good kids who make bad choices."

I asked the class, "Who wants Dorian to try harder? (All raise their hands) See, Dorian, your class supports you. Who thinks Dorian can do better? (All raise their hands.) See, Dorian, your class believes in you too. Now, let's get busy with some Drama"

You're Tellin' Me "NO"?

MR. BOWERS: Angelo, go to the front of the school--your mom is late. She's gonna have to pick you up there.
ANGELO: Nooooo! Just a few more minutes--she'll come!
MR. BOWERS: Now.
ANGELO: Nooooo. Pleeeeease!
MR. BOWERS: Angelo, what do you want to be when you grow up?
ANGELO: A carver. You know, one of those guys that carves stuff in the wood for the buildings when they are building them--like a carpenter or something.
MR. BOWERS: Umm, OK, well, how would you feel if the boss gave you the tools to carve with and they were all dull and stuff and they wouldn't cut the wood the way you wanted them too?
ANGELO: I would hate it.
MR. BOWERS: Well, that's how I feel when a kid tells me "no". Don't be a dull wood cutting tool--be a sharp one...and go to the front of the school and wait for your mom.

Thieves

When it is discovered that something is missing, it is so hard to get it back. Kids DO NOT want to tell the truth when they have taken something. Today, I actually got something back that was taken, and I have no idea who took it--and neither does anyone else!

I was sharing my room with the Librarian because the PTO was using the library. She took a toy away from a kid who was playing with it (it was a little skateboard) and set on the computer. Later we noticed that the toy wasn't there anymore.

We tried telling whoever took the toy to give it back now and there wouldn't be any trouble--I have never got that one to work, by the way. We tried talking to them about how we could search them and find it and that would be more embarrasing than giving it back now--that didn't work either.

Finally, I told all of the kids to gather around the rug. Then I had them all turn their backs to the rug. Finally, I said, "OK, now I want everyone to get out one thing to toss on the rug behind you. It can be a necklace, a shoe, a watch--whatever--I am gonna toss my keys. Whoever has the skateboard, you can toss it--and no one is allowed to look. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1--TOSS!"

There, among all of the other things that the kids tossed, was the skateboard.

"Thank you, now can we please get back to the lesson!?"

That's Not What I Meant

MR. BOWERS: Oh, hey Jessica! Did you cut your hair?
JESSICA (1st grader): No. My mom did.

Poo and Pee

Some boys were playing around in the restroom.



Mr. Bowers enters. Makes a loud echoing whistle to get all boys' attention, then calmy says:



You actually choose to play in here? This is a place where people go to pee and poo--and this is where you choose to play? Wouldn't it be more fun to play on the playground? How can you stand the smell of this place long enough to play? When I come in here, I hold my breath and only stay long enough to take care of my business! What is wrong with you kids?

Don't Do That

I asked the PreK'ers, "What are some things that your mom tells you not to do?"

RAMAN: My mom says, "Don't wear that make-up--that's for me!"

A Good Reason to Run

Whenever I see a kid running in the halls at school, I get real excited and ask them, "Hey, is your teacher givin' out free donuts today!?" They usually say, "No" or "I don't know".

That's where I tell 'em, "Well, you don't need run, then. You only need to run if your teacher is givin' out free donuts. You know how to tell when she is givin' out free donuts?-- Well, you'll see me runnin' too!"

Kinder Name

I forgot to add this one to the list of new kinder names that I love:

Ashatasha

Sounds just like it's spelled--asha-tasha

There You Are!

KINDERGARTENER: Mr. Bowers, I can't find the inside of my jacket.

All You Need is Time

One of the third graders was telling me about his parents getting a divorce and how sad it was making him feel. Here's what I told him:

You know, my parents got divorced when I was in kindergarten? It was terrible. I missed my mom so much.

You know what, though? If my parents hadn't got divorced, I wouldn't be your teacher!

See, I moved to Houston to go to college because that's where my mom was. I loved it here and decided to stay in Houston after I graduated--that's when I started teaching here! I love this job!

I even met my wife in Houston! I love her! She's the best thing that ever happened to me!

See, if my parents hadn't got divorced, I would have NEVER even moved to Houston!

Just give it some time, and things will get better--you'll see.