Caleb has been having problems with biting other PreK'ers:

MR. BOWERS: Why did you bite him?
CALEB: He was being rude to me by touching my desk.
MR. BOWERS: Is that a good reason to bite someone? Listen, people don't bite each other, that's what animals do.

(ANOTHER TEACHER walks up.)

MR. BOWERS: Caleb bit ANOTHER kid.
ANOTHER TEACHER: Caleb! That's nasty! I talked to you about germs--you can get sick biting other kids!

(A DIFFERENT TEACHER walks up.)

MR. BOWERS: Caleb bit ANOTHER kid.
A DIFFERENT TEACHER: That's it! Mr. Bowers, wipe off Caleb's arm. Caleb give me your arm, I'm gonna bite you and let you see how it feels!


I like how A DIFFERENT TEACHER asked me to wipe off his arm. She must have heard ANOTHER TEACHER giving him the business from down the hall. Too bad she didn't hear me just telling him that people don't bite each other. They do. I forgot.

PreK Antics

The Coach and I played this awesomely mindless color game with about 30 PreKers today to work on their color skills. You tell them to go and find something in the room of a certain color and touch it. ex. Boys! Touch something red! Girls, count 'em down...10...9...8... I found that if you count down slowly, the kids won't run.

It was great!

Try it yourself at home or in the office! Go! Touch something GREEN!

What The Nun Said

Several of our 5th graders didn't get to go to camp for one reason or another (most because they were responsible for younger siblings after school) and one in particular was sitting in the library eating by herself. I ran into her as I was heading to wash out my dish.

HER: My so called friends don't want to eat with me.
MR. BOWERS: Well, some of your friends are at camp.
HER: I don't have any friends.
MR. BOWERS: You know what, the best way to get a friend is to be a friend. You know what a nun told me when I was a kid?
HER: What's a nun?

(a few minutes later)

MR. BOWERS: Anyway, a nun told me that the way to get friends is to be nice, treat people with respect and don't hit people and don't bother people and instead of arguing all the time, just be nice. Or something like that. Anyway...you may not find great friends until next year in middle school or in high school or even college...but remember where your path is taking you--to college.

She nodded and went back to her meal. With her friends. :(

But only because I had already eaten. :)

Our FAVORITE PreK'er

I was talking to Caleb's teacher to find out if anything crazy had happened with him lately and she droped off this gem:

Caleb had tried to cut his own hair. She asked him why he had done it. He said, "I only wanted to be a barber."

Then the computer teacher told me about the time he was upset in the lab.

CALEB: We need to arrest that table because it hit me in the testicles!

Former Student

I was at an event called "Apartment Outreach" where teachers and volunteers from our school visit apartment complexes for a night of fun and education. We get to meet parents and see current and former students. I ran into Pigeon--that's his last name, he is in 5th grade, but goes to a different school down the street.

PIGEON: If I was at y'alls school, I would be the fastest kid there.
MR. BOWERS: Well, Donovan here is pretty fast, and he's in 5th grade.
DONAVAN: I'm second fastest in the school.
MR. BOWERS: OK, Donovan, you can race Pigeon.
DONOVAN: Nah, I don't feel like it.
MR. BOWERS: OK...well...Pigeon, you just go run around, and we'll tell you if you're the fastest.
PIGEON: Get outta here!

Milli Vanilli

MR. BOWERS: Y'all, the show is coming up soon, if you don't know the words to the songs by now, you better learn to lip sync.
JESS: Yeah, last year at my other school, they wanted us to sing some childish song, so I just lip sync'ed it.

I Asked for the News, Not the Weather!

Today, as I was talking to the class, I apparently spat on the kids in the front row:

TREVOR: Ugh! You spitted on me!
JOHN PAUL: Wow! It's like the splash zone at Sea World in here.

From Across the Room I Hear...

AZIZA: I'M URANUS!

I look over and she's holding the Uranus costume from "School House Rock."


Imagine my surprise.

Cookie Monster

Let me preface this by telling you that my mom says my first words as a baby were, "I wanna cookie."

I have to supervise some of the kids during dismissal. I told Gabriel that if he didn't keep up with his backpack, I was going to eat his cookies that he had just showed me. Within a few minutes he was over playing by the tree--without his backpack, so I proceeded to eat one of his cookies. HE GOT SO MAD!!! "I'M GONNA TELL MY MAMA ON YOU!!!"

I decided that it would be best if I told his mom first, so she wouldn't think I was totally crazy. She offered me ANOTHER one of his cookies and told Gabriel to keep up with his backpack in the future.

I love reasonable parents.

New Jordan's

It seems like every time I have this preK'er, he's crackin' me up:

MR. BOWERS: Caleb, I like your new shoes, those are Jordan's aren't they?
CALEB: Nuh-uh, they're mine! They cost 99 BUCKS!