I Smile Too Much

I have known Barbara (4th grade) for about three years. When she was in second grade, she wrote me a story and I praised her and let her read it to the class. She participates in my class and has always been a very good Drama student.

A few months ago her big brothers were picking her up to walk home with her and it was raining. I gave them my umbrella to use and told them to just let Barbara give it back tomorrow. The next day Barbara gave me the umbrella back and told me, "My brothers said that you are TOO nice." I asked her what they meant by that and she didn't know. I didn't think anything more about it.

Today we read an old poem, "The Spider and the Fly" by Mary Howitt. The poem is about a spider who tries to trick a fly by being nice to her and stuff like that. I told Barbara that that is probably what her brothers meant that day when I loaned her the umbrella. We started talking about it and I said, "Even though you know me, if I ever offered you a ride, you shouldn't accept it because you don't know me that well and I would have to have your parents permission." She said, "I wouldn't get in the car anyway because you smile too much. I don't trust you. I don't like how you are always smiling all the time. Why are you so happy?" I told her, "What do I have to be sad about? I had a pretty good childhood, I went to college, I have a job that I love, I have a beautiful wife--wait, I know why I smile so much--I don't have any kids!" The class laughed and we went on with the lesson.

After class, I asked her if that was how she really felt. She said yes. I told her honestly, "The reason I smile at people so much is because they usually smile back at me. When a person smiles back at me it makes me feel good about myself and it makes me feel accepted. I'm sorry that I make you feel uncomfortable.” She kinda grinned and I let her off the hook. I never thought smiling too much would be such a problem.