New Student Audition

We were having some 3RD grade auditions for one of our musicals. Jada is a new student.



MR. BOWERS: Jada, do you want to audition?
JADA: I don't think so.
MUSIC TEACHER: Were you in choir at your old school?
JADA: Yes.
MUSIC TEACHER: Well, you should audition.
JADA: No, I'm ok.
MR. BOWERS: Who do you live with?
JADA: My Auntie.
MR. BOWERS: What would she tell you to do if she were here--just sit there? Or, get up and audition?
JADA: Get up and audition.
MUSIC TEACHER: Well, then, let's go!


Jada came up and quietly sang for us.

MUSIC TEACHER: Jada, first of all, you hit every single note. Now go ahead and sing out and have confidence!

The next day, we got this letter from Jada:

I LIKE DRAMA AND MUSIC ROOM

Why I like Drama and Music room is because you get to sing and it's my favorite because I always sing and sometimes my aunt tell me to stop singing. I love plays. It's just that I’m very proud that I tried out for because a great man and a great woman said that I can do it and I believed in my self and I did so I know that I should try. YOU ARE GREAT PEOPLES!

From,
Jada

Fictional Cutting.

Today I was making a video of kids pretending to go on a field trip.

MR. BOWERS: OK, so, I need you guys to line up for this shot like we're going on a field trip, you don't need to get in any order because this is not a real line, we're not really going anywhere...
DEDRICK: HE CUT!!
MR. BOWERS: (sigh.)

Where Do You Live?

Sometimes the kindergarteners come up to me and say the most random things:

GABRIEL: Mr. Bowers, yesterday, at my mom's house in my dad's hotel, I learned to beat-box!

More PreK Caleb

This kid is FOUR!!! Unbelievable.


MR. BOWERS: Caleb, stay in your seat, I would hate to have to call your mother.
CALEB: Mothers are ridiculous!
MR. BOWERS: Even YOUR mother?
CALEB: Not my mother.
MR. BOWERS: You know what, I may have to call your mother.
CALEB: I know you wouldn't call my mother and tell her that I said she was ridiculous, I thought you were nice.

Maybe for your parents!

MR. BOWERS: There are stories all around us. In reality, we each have our own stories that we live every day. You know, you are all a big part of your parents' story--and your parents story goes way back before you were born. Your parents stories were going on for twenty or thirty years before you came along--
ANDREW: --and RUINED the story!!

Random 1st Grader

AINSLEY: Mr. Bowers, last night I went to the rodeo to see the Rascal Flat and I lost a tooth.
MR. BOWERS: How much did the Tooth Fairy give you.
AINSLEY: One dollar and 40 cents*!



*Her sister told me that she actually got one dollar--but it was 4 quarters--I can see the confusion :)

4th Grade John Paul

John Paul is now a 4th grader. Today, I saw him with a big stack of "starbucks." A starbuck is a kind of reward thing that we do at our school:

MR. BOWERS: John Paul, are you stealing Starbucks?
JOHN PAUL: No, Mr. Bowers, that would be un-patriotic.

PreK Logic

Today we were in the music room and Caleb (preK) was edging over near the drums.

MR. BOWERS: Caleb, what are you doing over there? Come back over here and sit with the class.
CALEB: But, I wanted to show y'all how those drums sound.
MUSIC TEACHER: We already know how they sound.
CALEB: But I don't.

5th Grade Science FAIL

Today there was a little friut fly stuck in Patrick's hair. His 5th grade friend Juan was trying to let him know:

JUAN: Hey, Patrick, there is a little animal in your hair.

I Made up a Star Wars Joke

Q: What time does R2D2 get out of school?








A: C3PM

Too Much TV?

LIBRARIAN: So, over the course of his lifetime, George Washington owned 36 dogs.
SOFIE: OH MY GOSH--HE'S A HOARDER!!

Mother Goose

The Kindergarteners are performing their nursery rhymes today in the cafetorium:

MR. BOWERS: Hey, little kindergarten actors, break-a-leg today!
MITCHELL: I'm gonna break an EGG!!
MS. CARLISLE: He's playing Humpty Dumpty.

Cursive

MR. BOWERS: First graders, why do you think we teach people to write in cursive?
DELILAH: So that adults won't have to write like kids?

Kindergarten Stray

MR. BOWERS: If you see a dog without a home, that's called a "stray dog."
ETHAN: And if you see a homeless man, that's called a "stray person!"

3rd Grade Valentine

Feb.10, 2011

Dear Mr. Bowers,

Happy Valentines!

I found out yesterday at PE I could fit my fist in my mouth.

Your Friend,
Lauren

Speaking of Hitting

Is there a good reason to hit someone at school?

Yes, if they have an ant or mosquito on them. However, if they are on fire, you might want to push them down and tell them to roll around to put it out.

Conversation With a Mom

One of the 4th graders' mom stopped me after school. She and I have good conversation on a daily basis, so this was all a friendly conversation about her son:

A MOM: I hear my son got in trouble today in Drama today.

MR. BOWERS: Yeah, he said that you told him if someone hits you, you can hit them back--even if it's a girl. I told him that his mom doesn't want him to get bullied, that she wants him to fight back...not this little play slapping with a girl...and that he shouldn't be hitting girls in the first place.

A MOM: Yeah, I told him that...a girl that age shouldn't be hitting a boy and I told him that if someone initiates contact, he should hit them back.

MR. BOWERS: Well, maybe you could tell him that if he wants to hit someone, to invite them home so you can watch!

A MOM: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Granite Granted.

ARIA (3rd grade): I read this book that said, "Don't take anything for granite, because tombstones are made out of granite."

Do you see?

do you see people being beaten all around you? do you see anyone being smacked in the face for cutting in line or taking a pencil? is there any reason to lie about the mistakes you make? just tell the truth and try not to make too many mistakes, and don't make the same mistakes twice.

and if someone is bothering you, just say, "please don;t do that, it's bothering me."

(there's a few mistakes in punctuation and spelling here, sorry"

My Own Kindergarden Joke

I saw my dad this weekend and he told me a joke that I made up when I was a kid.

Q: Who is Booger Boy?
A: Why, that's Booger Man's son.

That Makes Perfect Pre-K Sense

MR. WALKER: Destin! Why did you go to the bathroom on the playground!?
DESTIN: Because my mamma said she was gonna whoop my A$$ if I pee'd in my britches!
MR. WALKER: But now you're still going to be in trouble.
DESTIN: Not as much trouble as if I pee'd my britches!

Today in 5th Grade Drama...

...Caitlin came to the realization that every audience member sees the play from a different perspective. This led to the class coming to the realization that each audience members background also influences how they perceive the play.

Not part of my lesson plans, it just came out of a discussion in class.

Now they WANT to go see plays!

Vivek Again

Vivek is a wise-crackin' 1st grader. Today, I was calling role and one of the students was missing.

MR. BOWERS: Juliet...Juliet...?
ALEXIS: Hey, Juliet was here earlier...where is she?
VIVEK: She vanished!

It's Just For You

Teddy (2nd grade) was walking in the dirt next to the new sidewalk.

MR. BOWERS: Teddy! What are you doing? Why aren't you using the sidewalk?
TEDDY: I don't know.
MR. BOWERS: Don't you remember those guys building the sidewalk earlier this year? Remember, they had that big tractor and everything?
TEDDY: Oh, yeah!
MR. BOWERS: Well, they built that sidewalk for you! Do you want me to call them and tell them that you aren't using it?
TEDDY: No!
MR. BOWERS: They would be so mad, they would CRUSH you with their tractor! So where are you going to walk from now on?
TEDDY: The sidewalk!
MR. BOWERS: Good job!

Mindful

MR. BOWERS: When you are on stage, you have to be aware of your spatial relationships with everyone around you.
RAINA: Like a Jedi?
MR. BOWERS: Yes...like a Jedi.

Not Heart Broken--Leg Broken

HEATHER (2nd grade): I don't know why my mom married my dad, she only liked him because he had a broken leg.
MR. BOWERS: Does she still like him?
HEATHER: Yeah, because he's cute. But his leg's not broken anymore.

A Request

I overheard a kindergartner's request in the office as I was signing out today. Maria, the lady in charge of the cafeteria was the recipient of this request.

Can you serve chicken nuggets tomorrow?

Almost a Football Fan

FYI: On January 2nd the Houston Texans played the Jacksonville Jaguars.

HAYDEN: Hey Mr. Bowers, on the day after New Years Day I saw a game, it was the Houstons against the Leopards.

Strong Enough for a Man

D'Mitri is a first grade BOY and today he had shiny silver lips.

MR. BOWERS: D'Mitri, why are you wearing lip gloss?
D'MITRI: It's "man-gloss."

She Would Know

JONATHAN: Mr. Bowers, today is my birthday!
MR. BOWERS: No, it's not, I don't believe you.
JONATHAN: Yes it is, my mom told me!

Aurora's Grumpy

Aurora is a kindergartener and I have met her little brother Luke who is 3, I think. Today is the first day back from winter break. Aurora was looking a little grumpy:

MR. BOWERS: What's wrong Aurora?
AURORA: Nothing.
MR. BOWERS: Come on, what is it?
AURORA: NOTHING!
MR. BOWERS: I know, I bet you miss Luke! You got to spend all that time with him over the break and now you miss him, don't you?
AURORA: Yes.
MR. BOWERS: Ohh, I wonder what Luke is doing right now. He's probably in your room playing with all your dolls!
AURORA: No he's not!!!



Grumpy gone.

Oh, no!

This week, I instructed the 2nd graders to use the puppets to retell the tale of 3 Billy Goats Gruff from the perspective of one of the characters. Townsend began his story from the Troll's perspective:

Yesterday, there was some goats up on my roof, and we ain't havin' dat!

Has a Future in Apologies.

I sometimes buy fund raiser items from students, and in this case, former students. Bruce is a 6th grader.

Dear Mr. Bowers,

I regret to inform you that the cookie dough you ordered will not be shipped to you. This mishap is of my own wrong doing and foolishness. Apparently you were to give me the money as you were ordering. However, I didn't inform you about it thus making this my own fault. Maybe my ignorance would not get in the way in the near future. Once again I'm truly sorry.

from,

Bruce.

Singular or Plural?

JOSHUA: I like the Bulls!
TREVION: No, I like the Heats, the Heats is better!
JOSHUA: No, the Bulls are better, that's where Michael Jordan played.
TREVION: The Heats have LeBron James! They're better!
MR. BOWERS: Boys! Listen, it's not the "Heats" it's the "Miami HEAT" there is no "s" at the end. Just say, "Heat."
TREVION: OK, then, I like the HEAT.
JOSHUA: Yeah, and I like the BULL.
MR. BOWERS: (sigh)

The Funny Kindergarten Joke

PAOLINA (a kindergartener): What did the lion say to the other lion after he ate the clown?
MR. BOWERS: What?
PAOLINA: He said, "I feel funny because the clown was funny."
MR. BOWERS: Don't you mean, "That clown tastes funny?"
PAOLINA: No, he said, "I feel funny because the clown was funny."

Tough Love?

MR. BOWERS: Hey Elie, is Coach Reid still giving you a hard time?
ELIE: Yes.
MR. BOWERS: Well, that just means he loves you.
ELIE: He loves me BIG TIME.

I Want it on a T-Shirt!

RANDOM TEACHER: If he won't take his meds, can I have them so I can stand him?

Maybe Think it Through Next Time

First Graders laugh at pretty much any joke anyone tells them, so sometimes I'll let one or two of them rattle one off. They always laugh. Aaron ended that theory.



AARON: What did the pickle say to the astronaut?
CLASS: WHAT?
AARON: Please don't eat me.
CLASS: (silence)
MR. BOWERS: (silence)
CLASS: (more silence)
MR. BOWERS: Did you make that one up?
AARON: YEP!
CLASS: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Crying Now

Kentrell was having trouble behaving and I told him I was going to call his mom...he continued misbehaving:

MR. BOWERS: Kentrell, do you really want me to call you mom?
KENTRELL: No, I want you to call my dad.
MR. BOWERS: What? And tell him that you are misbehaving?
KENTRELL: No, tell him that I miss him.

First Grade Letter

Dear Mr Bowers

I will de good I will respect my dest Teacher I will de so good that yuo will let my go qlay


love
JaKorian.

Some New Students

We got two new students at our school and they have the most awesome names! It's like I have been waiting for this day forever. Their names are Dynasty and Luther! What a wonderful day!

We also got a new student last week named Paul (not that exciting) and he is hearing impaired. Turns out that this new kid named Luther knows sign language--someone is looking out for our school!

We usually get new students this time of year because the parents received the first report cards and weren't happy with the grades, so they changed schools. That makes sense, right?

I'm Done

I'm tired of what you are teaching me, I went to bed late last night, you are boring...basicly, I'm calling it a day.

Azana Comes Forward

We frown at gum chewing at our elementary school for obvious reasons, but no one frowns more upon it than the music teacher.

Today, a 4th grader who had been caught chewing gum was admitting that he got it from a classmate. The moment the music teacher asked him to tell us who gave it to him, Azana raised her hand to take responsibility.

I was amazed! Two years ago, she would have denied it and yelled and screamed at the other students. Two years ago, she would have cried and had a fit. Today, she got up, walked to the trashcan and tossed her gum. Sometimes they grow up right before your eyes.

Uhh, WHAT??

MR. BOWERS: ...he must be a redneck.
CONNELY: Awww, Mr. Bowers, you can't say that word!
MR. BOWERS: What?! Redneck? Why, what's wrong with that?
CONNELY: It means the same as another word you're not supposed to say.
MR. BOWERS: What word?
CONNELY: Retard.

BOO!

PABLO: I gotta get a ghost costume...all's we need is a dead sheet.

Colors Are Important, But Learn to Read!

As I was getting a drink of my Sparkling Water, Vivek (first grade) shouted out, "He's drinking a Bud Light!"

The Wasp

The wasps are still buzzing around the school. Today, one landed on a 3rd graders' shirt. He stood completely still and I gently pushed it off. The wasp slowly flew onto my leg, then down by my foot. I instinctively put my foot on top of the wasp. I suddenly regretted it because the whole class was watching. I told them to go into the room before I lifted my foot off of the wasp.

When I got in the class one of the kids asked, "Did it live?"

Another answered for me, "He gave it mouth-to-mouth."

I hated to kill it, but as I explained to the kids, a wasp that will so bravely land on people can not be allowed to fly where there are 4 year old kids (preK) running around.

:(

Should Be Thinking About School

She's not with it today...usually when we are rehearsing the 5th Grade musical, she is singing happily...today, she's grumpy. I ask her if she's ok, and i can see the tears start to come. We step outside. She unloads on me. It went something like this:

We got our lights cut off this morning because my mom didn't pay the electric bill and my she won't let me go see my dad because he won't pay child support and when he does pay child support my mom spends all the money on cigarettes and my little sister really made me mad this morning because she wouldn't leave me alone!

whew.

I offered the silver lining that at least she has both of her parents and that they both want to spend time with her. I told her to be patient and wait about 6 more years and she will have the freedom to go see her dad whenever she wants. I also told her that her little sister is in the same boat as she is and to give her some attention. I let her know that the electricity bill is out of her control and to try not to think about all of this at school.

If only I could stop thinking about it.

Sorry About That

KINDERGARTEN GIRL: My mom got pulled over by the police.
MR. BOWERS: Did she cry? My mom always cries when she gets pulled over.
KINDERGARTEN GIRL: I was crying, my mom got arrested.

Now Everyone Wants to Pee

We have new restrooms out here in the trailer park section of our school. The 4th graders in the main building don't get to come out here much to use them, so now when they come to my class they all want to go:

ASHLEY: May I go to the restroom?
MR. BOWERS: You don't really need to go, you just want to see the new restroom!
ASHLEY: They say it looks like heaven in there!
MR. BOWERS: Yeah, but it smells like the other place.