Tie Your Shoes

MR. BOWERS: Hey, Tyonne, tie your shoes, the laces are draggin' on the ground. If you go in the bathroom, you're gonna get bathroom floor all over your laces and then when you go to tie your shoes, you will get bathroom floor on your hands and then when you go to pick your nose, you will have bathroom floor in your nose. You don't want bathroom floor in your nose, do you?
TYONNE: No.
MR. BOWERS: Then tie your shoes!


He tied them right away.

The other day, a little kinder kid, Elezar, had his shoes untied, so i tried to talk to his 1st grade sister, Celeste, about teaching him how to tie them. Her shoes were untied too. I went on up to their 4rd grade sister, Melanie, to talk to her about teaching them both and her shoes had velcro straps. (sigh).

The Dunking Booth

So, this weekend we had a carnival to raise money for the PTO. I volunteered to be in the Dunking booth. It was a blast--except for the following:

1. There was no border in front of the tank for the kids, so they kept running up and hitting the buzzer without perission. When I was a kid, and I did that , I had to be real sneaky and quick, you know, jump over a hay bail or something. These kids could just walk right up and no one seemed to object except me.

2. There was no border behind the tank to keep the kids from tripping the mechanism and dunking me. Luckily, a couple of parents stepped up and kept them away after a while.

3. There was a grandpa that also liked to walk behind the tank and dunk me in. Now I know where the kids get it.

4. The kids wanted to get splashed every time I got dunked, so they were all gathered around the tank. I don't know how many times I had to answer the question, "Can I get in the tank?" I always said, "I don't get to decide who gets in the tank, I am just doing my job."

5. The tank was only 3/4 full of water, and you can imagine how low the water was by the time I got dunked a few times. I was dropping like a stone--it was painful! We found the hose to refill it about the time I was getting out.

The best part was that the kids had a blast and I also got to see tons of former students--they all miss me, of course. I can tell because none of them COULD WAIT to dunk me.

My entire body is sore today.

Mad Scientist

I am making a little game show-type movie after school with some 5th graders. It's called "Lettuce Entertain You!" and it's about the 5 food groups. Avery and Kaitlyn were both cast as the host, "Grocery Guy" and have to sit inches from each other the entire time.

After the first rehearsal, I was reminded that they have been nemesis' since kindergarten. They both came to me complaining about the other. Here's what I told them:

You know how they say that fire and water don't mix? Well, you two are fire and fire. I'm hoping that you will get together and create a HUGE explosion of acting awesomeness and this will be the best show ever!........Or this could all blow up in my face...........I'm hoping for the awesomness.

The next day, they both came up to me individually and told me they agreed to get along.

Now we have had three more rehearsals and it is priceless. Sometimes a peek of the hatred comes out in the one who's not speaking's face--it kills me! They are so funny and they don't even know it!

Latest Words of Wisdom

Yesterday Wisdom came up to me and started telling me that he got in big trouble in his classroom. I couldn't believe it. Wisdom is a smart kid and sometimes gets in trouble, but he seemed really upset.

He really had me going when all of a sudden, he says, "Ahhh, APRIL 8TH!--GOTCHA!"

Wisdom has extended April Fools Day to include the whole month, I guess.

Bree's Cryin'

I don't usually have to deal with relationship issues in elementary, but now that we have 5th grade, there have been some conversations.

Yesterday, a group of 5th grade girls were huddled around Bree and called me over:

MACY: Mr. Bowers, Bree's cryin', say something to her--make her laugh!
MR. BOWERS: What's wrong, Bree? (I've taught Bree since she was in Kinder.)
BREE: J.P's gonna break up with me.
MR. BOWERS: Why?
BREE: (still crying) Because I got him in trouble!
MR. BOWERS: What! J.P. is a boy! He probably doesn't even remember why he got in trouble! He can't even remember his name half the time! That's why everybody thinks he's so cute--he always looks like he's thinkin' real hard! I don't know why you're even talking about boys anyway! The cute boys are in college--and they're smart too--cuz they're in college! Ain't that right, girls?
GIRLS: Uh, huh, that's right etc.


That's probably the best I can do--keep herdin' them in the right direction.