Tiny Dancer Dances

Ok, so the Talent Show happened. It was a great experience and an awesome night for the performers and the audience. We had 60-something kids performing--not all solo--most of them in groups (It ended up being about 33 acts). Everyone did their best and performed the way they practiced. It wasn't a competition, rather a night of entertainment. The best choice I made was asking the kids to keep their acts close to one minute long!

We had it outside and we didn't think about lighting--except to light the performers--we had one spotlight. The audience was maybe a little too dark but it was great because someone was giving out those glow in the dark necklaces. At one point I got this cool feeling like when I was a kid and I was trick-or-treating and running around in the dark with my friends. I know it made for some great memories for the kids.

K'yhana (3rd grade) told me that after she sang and the audience cheered, it made her mother cry. Her mom told her that the audience sounded like a thousand lions roaring. Of course her song was "I Believe I can Fly".

I had these two boys audition--one could kinda play the guitar and the other could kinda dance. I made them be in a group together and made the dancer dress like a monkey! It went great!

We had three magicians, loads of singers and dancers, two kids doing monologues, a kid bouncing a tennis ball on his raquet 100 times in a row while the audience counted, a gymnast, some piano players, an electric guitarist playing the intro to "Brown Sugar" and ended the night with three boys performing as Alvin and the Chipmunks!

Even as I typed this one of the kids came into the room to ask if we are doing it again next year.

My favorite had to be Kathleen. She didn't get shy and change things up--she got on stage and danced like there's no tomorrow.

Moody

There is a girl in first grade and her last name is Moody. Yes, her name fits. At least once a month she gets very upset in Drama class because she gets shy when she isn't the best at whatever we are doing. If she makes a mistake, the tears start to flow.

I have talked to her several times, but today I had kind of a breakthrough. I kept her after class and I found out that when everyone looks at her, she gets real freaked out. When she makes a mistake, she feels like everyone is looking at her and making fun of her. We talked about it some more and hopefully she will get over her fears.

Of course, I then realized what will happen when she returns to class. I asked her, "Now, when you open the door to go back into the room, what are the kids going to do?" She replied, "Look at me." I asked her, "Do you know why they all look when the door opens?" "No," she said. I told her, "They look because they think it might be Santa Clause."

Umm, OK

The music teacher told me that this morning, Hayden (kindergarten) came sashaying across the cafeteria and said to her, "This summer I get to wear girl clothes."

Tiny Dancer

About seven years ago, I was invited over to a former students' house by her mother to help the kid with an audition for a performance high school. We worked on the piece and then I hung out with the family for a little while. The youngest of the family was Kathleen. She was about three or four at the time and was an entertainer. She danced the whole time I was there while her family laughed and applauded.

Fast forward to the present--Kathleen is now in the 4th grade. She is very shy.

She tried out for the talent show last week. She danced. It was B-O-R-I-N-G. No energy. Nothing.

Afterwards, I pulled her aside and reminded her of that time I came over to her house. (She remembered it--right down to the reason I was there--to help her sister with acting.) I reminded her of how much fun she would have while she was dancing for her family. I told her that she needs to bring that fun to the talent show.

Yesterday, she came to rehearsal and said that she was using a different song. I was like, "Cool, let's see it".

BLEW ME AWAY! She looked like a 10 year old Paula Abdul. She tore it up! All of the kids screamed when she finished. I was amazed. All I could say was, "WOW!"

The Jacket

Xavier just moved to our school with only a month and a half left. He is FULL of anger. His teacher said that when she tried to talk to his dad, HE was full of anger as well. I talked to Xavier and he told me that his little brother and sister spend every day at home tearing up all of his stuff--including his XBox. After he told me that, here's what I said to him:

Dude, I'll bet you can't wait 'till you grow up and get to move out of the house. You know, the ticket out of town is COLLEGE! You can't come to school with all this anger. You will never learn enough to get to college.

You know when you get to school on a cold day how you take off your jacket? Well, you need to take off your anger just like that. When you get out of the car in the morning and wallk into the school, I want you to take that anger off--just like a jacket.

Good Little Garbage Cans

I was having trouble getting some 2nd graders to respect their teacher:

You know when a garbage collector comes down the street, do you think he wants to see all of the cans kicked over and the trash spilled all over the street? NO!! He wants to see all of them nicely lined up for his truck with the lids closed and the trash all inside the cans.

When your teacher comes to school, she wants to see all of you in nice straight lines with your mouths closed or if you are talking, you should be saying nice things to each other--not spewing garbage all over the room by using ugly words!

Koby Almost Cursed

We were playing an april Fools game where one person stands behind the person who is "it" and says, "April fools" and the person who is "it" will try to guess who it was.

Well, Koby (3rd grade) was mad that someone guessed his voice and almost shouted out the twelve letter word that begins with M and ends in R. He actually got out the word "mother" before I stopped him. He was shocked that the word had even come that close to being said. I said to him, Koby I am ashamed that you would even think about saying that--especially at school! What would your mom do if she heard you say that?" Koby said, "She would turn me into a GHOST!"

Mr. Prince

There is this kid in 4th grade and his last name is Prince--he is anything but a prince. He is always in trouble. I got a note from him today:

Dear Mr. Bowers,
Thank you for being such a wonderful teacher this intire school year. You've tauht us some prettey fun, funny, and cool stuff. I also wan't to say thank you for helping me with my anger problems and my temper, I'm doing so much better now.

Sincerelly,
J.

P.S. Happy teaching!!!

I asked his classmates if he really was doing a better job, and they actually said that he was! We'll see how long it lasts. I hope it lasts a long time, he is a neat little guy.

April Fools 2008

I was ready this Year:

"Hey Mr. Bowers, what's that on your head!?"

MR. BOWERS: Oh, that's a spider. He always climbs up there on April fool's Day.

One kid did get me on the "Your shoe's untied" bit. My response..."Your breath stinks."

More Special Powers

It's that time of year again...that's right...it's time to find out what Jenni's Birthday wish will be! This year, she wishes to have thousands of imaginary friends. Don't worry, she says that she already has thousands of imaginary friends, but she wants thousands more! She wants a whole country of imaginary friends. By the way, last year's wish still hasn't come true, but we're not giving up!

Yummy!

Jaylen (PreK) said, "I can't stand green peas because they smell like diapers!"

OM

We had 4 Odyssey of the Mind teams this year. OM is a creative competition where kids have to put on plays and solve problems without the help of anyone outside the seven kids on the team--including any of the kids parents.

Zoe (5th grade) and her teamates were ready for the competition. However, for some reason, during the performance, their cardboard set kept falling down and this threw them off. The play was a catastrophe. After the show some of the kids were crying--they were so upset that they weren't going to make it to the state tournament.

Zoe saw all of her teammates’ whining and complaining and crying and she just said, "I don't care if we don't win, I had a blast building the sets and costumes and doing the play--this was awesome!"

Later that night at the awards ceremony, Zoe was the only member of her team that showed--and guess what? Her team won third place! I guess all the other teams in their division really blew! Zoe got to go up on stage and collect all seven medals for her team! Now they are on to the state tournament!

Hayden (Kindergartner) Said:

Somefing hit my heart yesterday and now it might be half bwoken.

A Kindergartener Heard Me POOT!

I looked at her. She looked at me. She said, "It wasn't me!" Everyone screamed!

ALLRIGHT--EVERYBODY FREEZE!!!!! Yes, it was me who pooted. I'm sorry. Right now I think the smell is behind me and I don't smell it yet. If everyone will just HOLD STILL I don't think the smell will move. If everyone starts moving around a breeze will start up and the smell will travel.

I still don't smell it, I think this is working. Does anyone smell it yet? (They are still holding still, but their little noses start wiggling) "No", they say. OK, then I think the smell is gone. Let's get back to work.

It's That Time

On February 14th, Jonathan came up to me and handed me this HUGE Snickers bar--which happens to be my favorite candy bar:

JONATHAN: Here Mr. Bowers, this is for your violence times.
MR. BOWERS: Huh?
JONATHAN: You know, for your violence times.
MR. BOWERS: Oh, you mean when I get mad at the kids, this will calm me down?
JONATHAN: No! You know, for violence times day--here is your violence times gift.
MR. BOWERS: Ohhh, Valentines--OK, thanks. Happy Violence Times Day to you Jonathan.

Bow to the Queen

Jada was being disrespectful to her teacher. I caught wind of the situation and decided to lend a hand:

Jada, I know you are a princess, right? I know that this is your kingdom and the rest of us are just living here, but you are forgetting one thing. You may be the princess, but your teacher is the Queen. No matter how big the princess gets, she still has to bow to the Queen. Whatever the Queen says, the princess does it. You got that?

Know Your Audience

Seiei is a third grader. His name is pronounced like "Say-Yay". He is from Korea and he has this innocence that comes across as immaturity--but his classmates love him and don't make fun of him at all. Even if they were to make fun of him, I don't think he would even know they were doing it.

Yesterday, we were creating scenes in Drama where kids were playing baseball and they break an old man’s window. In Seiei's group, he was playing the part of the "old man". They came to the part where his window got broken and he comes running out saying, "Whoever broke my window--I'm gonna hug and kiss you!"

At first I thought I misunderstood or something. Then he says, "If you break my window again, I’m gonna hug and kiss you!" Then he starts chasing the kids around the room like he is gonna do it! The kids were rolling with laughter.

When the scene finished, I decided to ask Seiei about what he said. I thought the other kids must have put him up to it. I said, "Seiei, why did you say that if they did it again, you were gonna hug and kiss them?" Seiei said, "It's because I wanted the scene to be funny."

He was right, it was funny.

True Dat

On the same weekend that the vandals broke into the school, the water pipes busted in one of the bathrooms and flooded the library, teacher workroom and a couple of classrooms. For the last couple of weeks, these rooms have been "out of order" as the repairs take place. In other words, the kids have not been to the library in quite a while.

So, the other day I was having a conversation with a new student:

MR. BOWERS: So, what do you think of our school so far?
KENYANIQUE: It's OK, my old school was better.
MR. BOWERS: Oh really? How was the Drama department at your school? Did you have a really cool Drama teacher?
KENYANIQUE: We didn't have Drama at our school.
MR. BOWERS: What? No Drama! How can your old school be better than this one if you didn't have Drama?
KENYANIQUE: You know, we just had better stuff, you know, like we had a better library and stuff.
MR. BOWERS: Hey, our school has a great library!
PERRY (who was eavesdropping): NOT NO MO WE DON'T!

The Writing Process

I was teaching the writing process to my 5th graders:


OK, like you know when I was in High School, I would sometimes write love letters. Before I would write, I would think about all the things I want to tell the girl. You know, how much I love her, how pretty she is and things like that. (pre-writing)

Then, I would pour out my soul onto the paper and tell her everything, you know, get it all out. (rough draft)

After I finished, I would go back and read it to myself and think about the girl and how she may react when she reads it. Then I would think, "Oh man, I can't say that, she'll think I’m crazy!" So, I would go back and change it up a little bit to make it better. (revising)

Then, you know, I didn't want her to think I was dumb, so I would go back and double check all of my punctuation, grammar, capitalization--stuff like that. I would make sure that I have crossed all of my t's and dotted all of my i's. Sometimes I would make the dots on the i's be like little hearts. (edit)

Now, I had the note just the way I wanted it, so I would get out a new sheet of paper and a really fancy pen and copy the letter in my best handwriting with no mistakes on it so the girl would think I was perfect. Maybe I would spray a little cologne on the paper to make it extra special. Then, I would present the letter to the girl! (publishing)

Next, I would watch as she would tear up the letter and yell at me to never speak to her again! (critic)

Vandals

We had a few vandals break into the school over MLK weekend. They got into a few classrooms and did some damage. Nothing was stolen but a few computers were ruined. My classroom looked like the Tasmanian devil had come through.

They dumped out six jigsaw puzzles, mixed in some crayons, markers papers, pencils, CD's, math manipulatives, books, etc.--all over the floor. Then I noticed that they tore up some of my teaching posters and a picture of my wife and I at the school Christmas party.

My first class of the day was 5th graders. They offered to help clean up the room and in about 30 minutes everything was back in its place--even the Christmas party picture. Some of the 5th grade girls had taped it back together!! HOW SWEET!! I told them that every time I look at the taped together picture I will not think of the ugly vandals who tore it, but of the beautiful children who helped me clean up my room!!! EVEN SWEETER!!!

To top things off, there was also a broken water pipe that left the library, copy/workroom and several classes flooded with water. Needless to say, our principal is not his usual jovial self--although he is handling everything like a champ.

There are rumors that the vandals were a few kids that were at our school last year and are now at a school close to here. I hope we find the real culprits, my wife wants to talk to them about the picture!

Bad Alarm Cock

The music teacher and I were doing "She'll Be Coming Around The Mountain" with the kindergarteners and we asked the kids why the song says that they will "kill the big fat rooster when she comes".

HANNAH: Because they are mad at the rooster cus he's annoying them and they want to sleep?

ADAM: So they can eat rooster meat?

(FYI: It's really so that they can "all have chicken and dumplins when she comes.")

Let's Go See A Giant Rat

I overheard a dad talking to his kindergarten daughter this morning as they were walking to class. His voice sounded a little like the famous rapper 50 Cent:

DAD: I'll tell you what...if you stay on "E" for the rest of this week...I'll take you to see Chucky Cheese on Friday...I promise...That's a PROMISE!

Cheese Cutter

SAM: James farted!
MR. BOWERS: Ok, well, that proves that he's not a robot.

Goals

I decided to teach the kids about goal setting:

MR. BOWERS: Let's say your goal is to stop hitting your little brother so much. Here's what you do: Keep track of how many times you hit your brother in a week. Let's say it's about twenty times a week. Well, the next week, you try just hitting him ten times and after you have hit him for the tenth time, you can't hit him again--no matter what! Then you lower it to five and so on. Eventually, you get down to hitting him only ONE time a week! That's when you will be using some good self-control because you will REALLY want to hit him but you might want to save it for something really bad.

REBECCA: But don't tell him he only gets one hit!!!

KIARRA: If I only hit him once this week, do I get to hit him twice the next week?!!

Too Much Christmas Pie

On the first day back from the holiday I was so happy to see the kindergarteners coming to my class:

MR. BOWERS: Hey you guys i am so happy to see you! Did you miss me?
CIENNA: You got bigger!

Ew!

Jonathan(kindergarten) is wandering around the cafeteria with a napkin, looking at the floor during breakfast:

MR.BOWERS: Hey, Jonathan, go sit down.
JONATHAN: I'm looking for my snot. I sneezed.

Teegerstrom's Crib

The 5th graders were working on adjectives and I came up with a game that I call "Imaginary Cribs" styled after the MTV program where celebrities show off their houses. In my game the kids have to get up and describe their bedroom--and act like they are in their actual bedroom-- using as many adjectives as they can and as they walk around, they can't bump into anything that they have put into the empty space.

After we finished, I told them that next time we will play the game where they can make up a fictional "crib" and tell us all about it. Here's what Teegerstrom had to say about that:

TEEGERSTROM: We get to tell about our imaginary house?! YAY! I'm going to tell about my wizard temple!


No one in the class was the least bit surprised--including me. That's how Teegerstrom rolls.

Like a Dog

MR. BOWERS: Hey Jorge, why are you yelling at Trevion?! What's going on?
JORGE: It's because he was yelling at me first!
MR. BOWERS: When someone is yelling at you, you don't just yell back! You have to try to figure out why they are so mad and make sure that they aren't mad at you. They could just be mad at something else. If a dog was angry and barking at you would you just start barking back at him? NO! If a dog is angry, you start trying to calm the dog down so you don't get bit--or get away from him. Next time, treat him like a dog!

The Double Apostrophe

We have had many children with an apostrophe in their names in the last few years. De'Mandre, K'yhana, Andra'Nique and even Ja'Kayla and Je'quaylin.

Now, for the first time ever at our school, we have the double apostrophy: Rae'Aja'Nique!

I think that is Aw'some!

The Bus Ride Home

The city bus is a little different on the way home. Yesterday, I was at the bus stop and I was on the phone with the mechanic--he was right in the middle of explaining the $1000 repair he had done to my wife's truck--when the bus rolled up and I got on.

"MR. BOWERS! MR. BOWERS"

The bus had just come from the middle school that some of my former students feed into. The bus was so loud--like a school bus--but with adults in long faces mixed in. The bus driver just ignored all the screaming kids. It was one of the wildest things I have seen in a long time.

At least now Karina's truck is fixed and I can once again drive to school. Oh yeah, as I was waiting for the bus, my principal drove past and gave me the "thumbs up" as if I was being a good cicizen and trying to save the planet.

The Crack

I was walking past John Paul's first grade class today while they were in P.E. and he was sitting there on the ground with his pants down so far that his crack was showing. I asked him, "Hey, John Paul, are you going to be a plumber when you grow up?"

Without hesitation, John Paul jumped up and started pulling up his pants and said, "Ok, ok." I asked, "Why are you pulling up your pants?" His reply, "It's because plumbers wear their pants down low."

So do rappers. I guess he's heard that one before.

The Bus

This morning I rode the bus to school because my wife's car was at the mechanic. I fell asleep on the bus and missed my stop. I decided to use this opportunity to teach the kindergarterers a lesson on problem solving:


MR. BOWERS: This morning I fell asleep on the bus and I missed my stop. I was far away from my school. How could I solve this problem?

NICHOLAS: You could have not falled asleep on the bus.


ANSWER--I got off the bus and called Coach Reed to come pick me up!

5th Grade Campout

This is my first year to teach 5th graders. Apparently our school district has a 5th grade campout every year where the kids spend a week out at a lake learning about stuff (I'll find out what they learned when they get back). Our principal went out there to visit them yesterday and the counselor told him that our kids were the most respectful and polite kids he has ever had! I guess we're doing something right!

U

My First graders were entering the room a little noisily:

MR. BOWERS: All right you guys, settle down. I don't want to have to change your grades from "E" Excellent to "S" Satisfactory. Earlier today one little girl would not calm down and I had to change her grade all the way down to "U"--

MARTIN: UNEXPECTED!

Puppeteer

I used to teach this quiet girl named Morgan and I found out one day that she makes puppets at her house. She makes them out of paper bags. I asked her if she wanted to bring them to school one day so that her class could use them as their puppets when we got to that lesson. She brought over 100 puppets to school! I was very impressed. I got a letter from her today:

Hi Mr.Bowers. This is Morgan from 4th grade! I am in 7th grade now! I miss you sooooooo much! You were such an awesome teacher that made my confidence boost alot! I still make puppets and other things too!
At my school, we are doing a school production of The Wizard of Oz! I don't have any major parts but i will have to dance.. D: I'm not much of a dancer..
Anyways, I just wanted to say that I missed you! Have a wonderful time and be great at everything you do!

Makes it all worthwhile.

The Last Journey

I found one more Journey to share. This one's written by Danna (4th grade):


First you see yourself on a subway. Then the subway comes to a stop and you can't open he door so you decide to knock it over. The subway starts and you throw yourself out of the window and end up in the middle of nowhere, so you just walk around but you find out you are in a cardboard box, so you just walk around in circles and end up in Las Vegas. You explore the place and see a man drinking wine and singing so you run over to the man but instead you run into a room--just a room with no furniture, just a window and a door. You look out the window and all you see is a tree and a lake. You decide to open the door. When you open it you get covered by macaroni and cheese. You taste it and it tastes like wood chips so you spit it out and swim out of the macaroni looking stuff and you end up inside a closet and find yourself shrinking smaller, smaller and smaller.

Jonathan

Jonathan is a 4th grader and he is pretty pathetic. He plays in class and doesn't listen to the teacher and all of his classmates are tired of him acting up.

When his class did their Imagination Journeys, he could hardly think of anything to write and when he did finally get to work, it was about ten words and it was about a wrestling video game. Also, his handwriting was horrible--large letters like chicken scratches--like a first grader would write. Later that day I pulled him aside in the lunchroom:

"Hey Jonathan, I gotta talk to you man to man--not teacher to student. You know that writing you did today in Drama? Well, it was horrible! If you ever want to send a note to a girl asking her out on a date or something, she would laugh in your face! You need to get that handwriting in check! I mean it! You need to work hard in school and quit playing around!"

The next week he came to Drama, I about flipped out when he handed me a paper with every letter in the alphabet written twenty times each in really nice handwriting! I was so proud of him, I really propped him up. I also gave him a new pencil with one of those cushy things that helps a tired hand and also one of those erasers that you stick on the end.

The Journey Continues

Here is Austin's (4th grade) Imagination Journey:

You are standing next to an elevator. You are in a room with no doors and no windows. You decide to press the elevator button. You get on the elevator. It is empty. The doors close and the elevator descends, you start going down. You go faster and faster and faster and faster and faster and faster and faster until you can't take going any faster. Then the elevator stops and you get off and you are amazed by what you see. In front of you is a tower that is so high you can't see the top, but what makes it fascinating is that it's made of pure gold. Suddenly, you fall through a trap door!

Another Journey

I may be posting several of these kids journeys. Here is an offering from Joseph (4th grade) who came to our school in second grade because his family evacuated New Orleans after Katrina:

You wake up and you are in a palace. They have three doors. You choose door two and when you walk in you see Soulja Boy and he says, "Let's do the Soulja Boy dance called 'Superman'". When you do the dance, water comes gushing through all sides of the wall. Then you try to swim for the door, but it's locked. You try to look for some windows but there aren't any more. Then you see The Hulk bust through the door and he's just standing there letting out all of the water. Then when all the water is gone he tries to stomp his ten-foot long foot on your face but you keep on running. Then when you hop out of the busted door and run outside there were cops all over and they thought you broke into the house and they brought you to jail and you try to run free and they catch you.


On a side note; one girl named Miridiat wrote that, "...an octopus swims by and grabs you by its specticals".

Imagination Journey

Once a year I will take the 4th graders on an Imagination Journey where they will act things out as a group while I narrate. Then the next week, they will write their own journeys and I will read them while they act those out. Every once in a while I will get a really strange journey:

Written By DeMarco (4th grade)

Monkeys and robots are fighting in space and you are on the monkey's side. You start to shoot the robots, but the robots are out numbered. A monkey bites you and you turn into a monkey and you scream, "Oo-ohoh!" Then you tell them to take you to their master. Then they take you to Monkey Zilla. Monkey Zilla swings you around and around and you get sick and he starts laughing at you when you throw-up. Then he ate you and he had no organs and he had long toe nails. Then Dracula came to kill Monkey Zilla and he turned into Monkey Zilla Dracula.


Needless to say, the kids had a wonderful time acting this one out!

Should've Kept Your Mouth Shut

I walked into the Chess Club's meeting and challenged Christopher to a game of Chess. Christopher was the best player in the school and had even beat up on most of the kids in the city in his age group.

I pretty much just know the rules of Chess and have no strategies or tricks--I just play.

After about five minutes, Christopher makes a move and then immediatly gets all frustrated with himself and says, "Aw, man, you won."

Before I could even question him he is rattling off, "Now you're gonna move here and then I will have to move here to block you and then you will move here and have me in Check Mate".

My response: THAT'S RIGHT!

No Rules Day at Wal-Mart

While discussing the importance of rules, I gave this analogy:

Let's imagine that it's no rules day at Wal-mart. We walk into the store and the greeter says, "Welcome to Wal-Mart. Today there are NO RULES!"
SWEET! First thing I would do is go get a bike and start riding it around the store! I have always wanted to do that! What would you guys do?

-I would go and play with the toys!
-I would get some money!
-I would eat at the McDonalds in Wal-Mart!
-I would throw the footballs!
-I would get me some movies!
-I would steal everything in the store!

OK that all sounds fun--if it was just us. However, if there was a no rules day at Wal-Mart then you know everybody and their dog would come out to the store and get in on the fun.
If I was riding my bike in the store and a bunch of little kids were running around--what could happen?


If I was playing with some toys and a bunch of older kids came up and wanted to play with the same toy as me, what might they do?


If I was getting some money out of the cash register and other people saw me doing it and they decided that they wanted that money too, then what could happen?

It might be fun to have a no rules day, but you see, rules are necessary for the safety of all of the people.

Top Kindergarten Occupations

Every year I ask the kindergarteners to act out what they want to be when they grow up and the other kids try to guess what it is. A couple of years ago, Melissa was doing what looked like mixing chemicals so we guessed "scientist"--only to find out that what she really wanted to be was "bartender". Here are some of the top things kindergartners want to be when they grow up:

Wrestler
Ballerina
Runner
Wal*Mart worker
Princess
Cowboy
Cop
Power Ranger

Trisha

MR. BOWERS: Trisha, that was a good answer, did you already know it or did you think about it?
TRISHA: (a pre-k student) I tinked it.

Yep

LESLIE: (A kid in pre-K.) Mr. Bowers, I know what catsup's made of--"
MR. BOWERS: What's catsup made of, Leslie?
LESLIE: Potatoe!

The Hampster

(Taylor, a third grader, raises her hand at the beginning of class)

TAYLOR: (In a matter of fact like voice) Mr. Bowers, my hampster died!

MR. BOWERS: I'm sorry. Did you bury him in the back yard?

TAYLOR: (matter of factly) We made him this box and we put some of his toys in it and made him a little bed with some tissue...and...well it just happened this morning...(here come the tears.)

MR. BOWERS: Oh my goddness, I'm so sorry, "Yall, listen up, her hampster just died this morning!"

(Everyone kind of gives these honestly sympathetic whimpers and those sitting next to her instantly comfort her an she gets herself together)

MR. BOWERS: Hey, you know what I always do when my wife starts worring about our turtle dying someday? I just say, "(I bust out a beautiful song...) It's the circle of liiiiiiiife."

THE CLASS: Yeah, that's right!

MR. BOWERS: Taylor, did he have a good life while he was with you?

TAYLOR: Yes.

MR. BOWERS: Did you feed him and take good care of him and play with him?

TAYLOR: Yes.

MR. BOWERS: Did you ever let any cats chase him or anything?

TAYLOR: (laughing a little) NO!

MR. BOWERS: Then he had a better life than most rodents!


At this point we all laughed and this seemed to really comfort Taylor. Then we all had a really nice time interviewing each other as if we were inventors.

Not A Lazy American

During a lesson on RESPECT, I gave the following example:

"This summer my wife, my cousin and my brother in-law were in the Philippines and we went to this lake way up in the mountains. At the lake, these two Filipino dudes were selling rides across on their Banka boat; which is like a canoe. We noticed that there were 2 extra oars to row with. Now, class, what would they think about us if we didn't help them row the boat? (CLASS: That y'll were lazy!) Not just lazy, but lazy AMERICANS.

Now, see kids, in some other countries, people recognize Americans right away. The way we dress, the way we act, how we talk, how we carry ourselves...To some people, Americans are thought to be lazy--and in many ways we are! We eat too much fast food; we watch too much TV and many of us--including me--are just a little bit overweight.

We wanted to show those Filipino dudes that we weren't lazy, so we helped row the boat across the lake to the waterfall.

Now, at first it was fun, but it took us about 20 minutes and we worked very hard. We were doing our best to keep up the same pace as the man in the front of the boat. I was sweating and my arms were on fire! It was so hard!

When we got to the other side of the lake, those two guys looked at us with RESPECT because they knew how hard we had worked.

I want you to know that just like I was working hard to get some respect for my country, you have to work hard at school to get respect for yourself, and for your family! If you are lazy at school and don't behave, that reflects poorly on family and your mom and dad because it’s your mom and dad who first teach you how to behave and they are the first ones who tell you what is expected of you at school."

KAITLYN: Mr. Bowers, I went to a lake before!
MR. BOWERS: (sigh)

Greater Than/Less Than

I am teaching the 1st graders the concept of greater than/less than like in this example:

8>6

I will have the kids come up with a choice for their class like; whoever likes pizza, go on this side of the room and whoever likes spaghetti go on the other side of the room. Then the kid counts the groups and stands in the middls of the room and makes the "greater than" sign with their hands towards the larger group.

So, it's finally Kevin's turn. He is the last one. He has participated in all of the other kids' surveys and has had all this time to think of what his question is going to be.

KEVIN: Whoever likes to draw art go on this side of the room and whoever likes to run around in their underwear go on the other side of the room.

I went to the underwear side of the room which made our side have 10 to the art-sy side's 9. Underwear WINS AGAIN!

He's an Umpire!

I had this Pre-Kindergarten kid in my class who is missing his two front teeth. One of his classmates told me he was an umpire. You know, because it is close to Halloween. Get it? Because of his fangs. Get it?

Waiting for the Anger

I have come to a realization. Some kids will not cooperate with an adult until the adult becomes angry. I can ask kids politely to get quiet several times and get no cooperation, but as soon as I raise my voice and show them that I am angry, they will get quiet right away. Sometimes I will pretend to be angry just to get them quiet, then quickly return to a polite person and continue teaching. When I yell at them, they get quiet for a few minutes, then the cycle starts over again--like they forgot how mad I was a few minutes ago--and I start asking them to get quiet again nicely--until I get angry again--AAAGGGHHH!!!.

I asked some of my classes if that's how it is at home and--guess what--it is. Their parents can't beat them, so they yell at them. I told them how it was when I was a kid:

"See, when I was a kid, if the teacher or parent got mad, that usually resulted in a whoopin'. You don't forget about a whoopin' in just a few minutes. You usually remember that for the rest of the day--especially if getting a whoopin' at school meant that you would get another whoopin' when you got home. The pain and humiliation of getting a whoopin' would sometimes cause you to behave for even a few days."