Oh, no!

This week, I instructed the 2nd graders to use the puppets to retell the tale of 3 Billy Goats Gruff from the perspective of one of the characters. Townsend began his story from the Troll's perspective:

Yesterday, there was some goats up on my roof, and we ain't havin' dat!

Has a Future in Apologies.

I sometimes buy fund raiser items from students, and in this case, former students. Bruce is a 6th grader.

Dear Mr. Bowers,

I regret to inform you that the cookie dough you ordered will not be shipped to you. This mishap is of my own wrong doing and foolishness. Apparently you were to give me the money as you were ordering. However, I didn't inform you about it thus making this my own fault. Maybe my ignorance would not get in the way in the near future. Once again I'm truly sorry.

from,

Bruce.

Singular or Plural?

JOSHUA: I like the Bulls!
TREVION: No, I like the Heats, the Heats is better!
JOSHUA: No, the Bulls are better, that's where Michael Jordan played.
TREVION: The Heats have LeBron James! They're better!
MR. BOWERS: Boys! Listen, it's not the "Heats" it's the "Miami HEAT" there is no "s" at the end. Just say, "Heat."
TREVION: OK, then, I like the HEAT.
JOSHUA: Yeah, and I like the BULL.
MR. BOWERS: (sigh)

The Funny Kindergarten Joke

PAOLINA (a kindergartener): What did the lion say to the other lion after he ate the clown?
MR. BOWERS: What?
PAOLINA: He said, "I feel funny because the clown was funny."
MR. BOWERS: Don't you mean, "That clown tastes funny?"
PAOLINA: No, he said, "I feel funny because the clown was funny."

Tough Love?

MR. BOWERS: Hey Elie, is Coach Reid still giving you a hard time?
ELIE: Yes.
MR. BOWERS: Well, that just means he loves you.
ELIE: He loves me BIG TIME.

I Want it on a T-Shirt!

RANDOM TEACHER: If he won't take his meds, can I have them so I can stand him?

Maybe Think it Through Next Time

First Graders laugh at pretty much any joke anyone tells them, so sometimes I'll let one or two of them rattle one off. They always laugh. Aaron ended that theory.



AARON: What did the pickle say to the astronaut?
CLASS: WHAT?
AARON: Please don't eat me.
CLASS: (silence)
MR. BOWERS: (silence)
CLASS: (more silence)
MR. BOWERS: Did you make that one up?
AARON: YEP!
CLASS: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Crying Now

Kentrell was having trouble behaving and I told him I was going to call his mom...he continued misbehaving:

MR. BOWERS: Kentrell, do you really want me to call you mom?
KENTRELL: No, I want you to call my dad.
MR. BOWERS: What? And tell him that you are misbehaving?
KENTRELL: No, tell him that I miss him.

First Grade Letter

Dear Mr Bowers

I will de good I will respect my dest Teacher I will de so good that yuo will let my go qlay


love
JaKorian.

Some New Students

We got two new students at our school and they have the most awesome names! It's like I have been waiting for this day forever. Their names are Dynasty and Luther! What a wonderful day!

We also got a new student last week named Paul (not that exciting) and he is hearing impaired. Turns out that this new kid named Luther knows sign language--someone is looking out for our school!

We usually get new students this time of year because the parents received the first report cards and weren't happy with the grades, so they changed schools. That makes sense, right?

I'm Done

I'm tired of what you are teaching me, I went to bed late last night, you are boring...basicly, I'm calling it a day.

Azana Comes Forward

We frown at gum chewing at our elementary school for obvious reasons, but no one frowns more upon it than the music teacher.

Today, a 4th grader who had been caught chewing gum was admitting that he got it from a classmate. The moment the music teacher asked him to tell us who gave it to him, Azana raised her hand to take responsibility.

I was amazed! Two years ago, she would have denied it and yelled and screamed at the other students. Two years ago, she would have cried and had a fit. Today, she got up, walked to the trashcan and tossed her gum. Sometimes they grow up right before your eyes.

Uhh, WHAT??

MR. BOWERS: ...he must be a redneck.
CONNELY: Awww, Mr. Bowers, you can't say that word!
MR. BOWERS: What?! Redneck? Why, what's wrong with that?
CONNELY: It means the same as another word you're not supposed to say.
MR. BOWERS: What word?
CONNELY: Retard.

BOO!

PABLO: I gotta get a ghost costume...all's we need is a dead sheet.

Colors Are Important, But Learn to Read!

As I was getting a drink of my Sparkling Water, Vivek (first grade) shouted out, "He's drinking a Bud Light!"

The Wasp

The wasps are still buzzing around the school. Today, one landed on a 3rd graders' shirt. He stood completely still and I gently pushed it off. The wasp slowly flew onto my leg, then down by my foot. I instinctively put my foot on top of the wasp. I suddenly regretted it because the whole class was watching. I told them to go into the room before I lifted my foot off of the wasp.

When I got in the class one of the kids asked, "Did it live?"

Another answered for me, "He gave it mouth-to-mouth."

I hated to kill it, but as I explained to the kids, a wasp that will so bravely land on people can not be allowed to fly where there are 4 year old kids (preK) running around.

:(

Should Be Thinking About School

She's not with it today...usually when we are rehearsing the 5th Grade musical, she is singing happily...today, she's grumpy. I ask her if she's ok, and i can see the tears start to come. We step outside. She unloads on me. It went something like this:

We got our lights cut off this morning because my mom didn't pay the electric bill and my she won't let me go see my dad because he won't pay child support and when he does pay child support my mom spends all the money on cigarettes and my little sister really made me mad this morning because she wouldn't leave me alone!

whew.

I offered the silver lining that at least she has both of her parents and that they both want to spend time with her. I told her to be patient and wait about 6 more years and she will have the freedom to go see her dad whenever she wants. I also told her that her little sister is in the same boat as she is and to give her some attention. I let her know that the electricity bill is out of her control and to try not to think about all of this at school.

If only I could stop thinking about it.

Sorry About That

KINDERGARTEN GIRL: My mom got pulled over by the police.
MR. BOWERS: Did she cry? My mom always cries when she gets pulled over.
KINDERGARTEN GIRL: I was crying, my mom got arrested.

Now Everyone Wants to Pee

We have new restrooms out here in the trailer park section of our school. The 4th graders in the main building don't get to come out here much to use them, so now when they come to my class they all want to go:

ASHLEY: May I go to the restroom?
MR. BOWERS: You don't really need to go, you just want to see the new restroom!
ASHLEY: They say it looks like heaven in there!
MR. BOWERS: Yeah, but it smells like the other place.

Are Ya Sure?

Jaden in Kinder said, "My momma gots a baby and it's gonna come out in two years."

A Pre-K kid today said, "My headache hurts."

**BONUS**
New Kinder Joke from Akhil: Why did the cow jump over the moon?...Because the farmer had cold hands.

Floodgates

Today, as I was calling roll one of the 2nd graders wanted to share how his mom and dad fight all the time and yell at each other. This led to about 10 other kids wanting to share. Each one had some tale of how their parents fight and even hit each other. The last one even shared that his big sister said that she wanted to kill their dad because he puts bruises on thier mom's arms. By the end, I was crying and it was a real bonding moment for the class because they all had so many problems. I teach DRAMA!

Toes

They're those little fingers on your feet.

Tippy Toes

MR. BOWERS: Hey Quinlan, why are you walking around on your tippy toes?
QUINLAN: Because that's how Ninja'a walk.

Screaming at Wasps

We have many wasps buzzing around our campus this time of year, and the kids always scream when they see them nearby. I try my best to keep the kids quiet.

Don't scream when you see a wasp, if the wasp sees your mouth wide open he might think that it is a great place to build a nest!

Not That Pocket.

I asked Destin (preK) to put his name clip in his pocket because it was broken. I didn't know that the only pockets he had were on the shorts that he was wearing under his pants or that he needed to take off his pants to get to his shorts, so, uh, yeah, he took his pants off. Ahhh, prek.

Those Crazy Kindergarteners

Carlos in Kindergarten came to my class for the first time, saw me, and immediately said, "I want to be fat, like you!"

The crazy thing is that I really think he meant it! He had this excitement in his eyes like he knew what he wanted and he had to have it.

It reminded me of another time in the past with the new kindergarten kids: Check THIS out!

Bees at School

There are many bees flying around our school right now and some of the kids are so scared of them! Here's what I told a 2nd grader this morning who was really freaking out:

Bees don't eat people--they go after flowers, so as long as you don't look like a flower, you'll be safe.

Home School Success!

Let's listen in on this conversation between a 1st grade teacher and her new student--fresh from Home School:

MRS. MONROE: Here you go, you can put this paper inside your desk.
HOME SCHOOLER: What's a desk?

2nd Grade Letter of Apology

Dear Mr. Bowers,

I am sorry that I raised my big mouth at you. I will be more good in your funny classroom. My paronts and Mrs. Williams talk to me about being respectfully. After all you are the coolest teach!

Thank you for accepting my apology.

Russell

New Restrooms!

Upon my return to school, I noticed that we have new restrooms outside in the temporary buildings. That is a welcome sight because the old ones were nasty! That didn't stop the kids from playing in them, though. I always find footprints on the toilet seat because the boys love to climb. Finally, I decided to take a picture of a footprint to do a little investigating and, sure enough, I found the culprit--it was Keyden! In fact, he was so excited to see his matching footprint, he quickly admited that he was one of the kids climbing! Gotta love those investigations.

Visit to My Parents House

remember when...

MOM: (angry.) Were you eating that giant candy cane in the freezer?

LITTLE MR. BOWERS: No, I was just tapping it with my tongue.

---

UNCLE CHARLES: Why did you put your bread slices in the fridge with mustard on them?

LITTLE MR. BOWERS: I like my mustard "chilled."

---

present day...

MR. BOWERS: Wow! Driving this rental car makes me think about when I took Drivers Ed.! I'm going to drive that way.

BROTHER BRIAN: Uhh, that's how you're supposed to drive all the time.

What Did You Name It?

HANNAH: I got a new rabbit!
MR. BOWERS: Hey, ya know what's a good name for a rabbit?
HANNAH: What?
MR. BOWERS: mister bowers.


MATTHEW: I won a goldfish at the rodeo!
MR. BOWERS: What did you name it?
MATTHEW: I didn't name it!
MR. BOWERS: You know what you should name it?
MATTHEW: What?
MR. BOWERS: mister bowers.


RACHEL: My mom is having a baby!
MR. BOWERS: I know a good name for a baby!
RACHEL: What?
MR. BOWERS: mister bowers. boy or girl.



Gets 'em every time. Only once did that name get chosen for a pet. That's how I ended up with my turtle.

Tre's Mom

After school, one of the 5th grade girls, Tyrea, was horsing around with Tre (3rd grade) and punched him in the stomach--a little too hard, he started crying. I got on to the 5th grader, checked out Tre, and sent them both home.

The next day, Tre's mom called to discuss the indecent.

MR. BOWERS: I'm sorry that this happened, I have talked Tyrea about this...
TRE'S MOM: Well, you talk to her again and tell her that I'M the only one allowed to hit my son!
MR. BOWERS: ...ok...

The Grumpiest 4th Grader

Jada (4th grade) was being her usual grumpy self, so I decided to do something about it.

I took her to see Elaje (3rd grade) Elaje is a very grumpy 3rd grader. I pulled her out of class for a second.

MR. BOWERS: Hey, Elaje, Jada here is having a bad day, could you tell her a joke or something to maybe entertain her or something?
ELAJE: (folding her arms and putting on a very grumpy face) I CAN'T ENTERTAIN ANYBODY! (she stomped back into class).

Jada's mouth dropped, she couldn't believe how grumpy that little girl was!

Next, I introduced Jada to Kheyana. Kheyana (5th grade) was the grumpiest 4th grader last year, but this year, she has been praised for her turnaround. She is usually smiling and gets along with everyone better.

I asked Kheyana to tell Jada what turned it around for her. She said her mom did it with this advice:

-What do you have to be GRUMPY about?!?
-You have wasted your whole 4th grade year being grumpy!
-Your face is gonna stick like that and you're gonna be an ugly adult!

Jada smiled immediately.

Dear Mr. Bowers,

Dear Mr. Bowers,

Remember when you said you tried to add something new each year to

SCHOOL

HOUSE

ROCK?

Why notdo scooter computer &Mr. chips this year? I sudjest the hardware one.

Your A+ Student,

Krysia


P.S. am I still Interplanet Janet?

P.S.S. the Mr. Chips costume could be a box or something.

P.S.S.S. I have a school house rock Movie

P.S.S.S.S. fill in the bubble and send it back to me, please

A. Defentaly doing it
B. Good idea!
C. we will consider it
D. no thank you
E. Never

GET OUT!

Sometimes, when I have had enough of a kid and need a little break, I will send the kid to my friend, the music teacher, next door. It's a common technique used by many teachers.

Well, today I had had enough of 1st grader Isaiah shouting out and asked him to go next door. He refused. I asked him a second time. He continued to just sit there looking grumpy. So, instead, I asked the rest of the class to go next door. They all got up and left him sitting there looking grumpy.

Then he and I had a little talk about when he grows up gets a job and how he is going to have to start following orders at some point!

Two more days 'till summer!! woohoo!!

Birthday

YASIN: Mr. Bowers, I'm gonna be eight on Monday!
MR. BOWERS: Who's gonna eat you?

Animals You Would Find on a Farm

JOSE: Uhh, cow, chicken, uhh, horse, uhh, pig, uhhh chupacabra...
CLASS: NO! That's not a farm animal...you're wrong...etc...
MR. BOWERS: Wait! He could be right! Jose, what do chupacabras eat?
JOSE: Goats.
MR. BOWERS: And where do goats live?
CLASS: On a farm!

Awwww!

Natalie (2nd grade) had her toenails painted like little watermelon slices.

MR. BOWERS: Natalie, your toenails make me happy.
NATALIE: Mr. Bowers, YOU make me happy!

I've got the best job ever!

Pony Boy

Luis hasn't seen "The Outsiders" but he sports the same hairstyle as Pony Boy. His teacher and I have been calling him Pony Boy ever since he changed his hair to the "greaser" style and he likes the nickname.

Yesterday, we were having 3rd Grade Field Day and he came over to where I was working the Battle Ball game under the shaded area of the Blacktop. I asked him if he got in trouble and was asked to come sit out and he said that he chose to come over because he didn't want to get any sun damage on his skin. Being fair complected myself, I told him that I understood.

A few minutes later, he pointed out that one of the Dunwell twins was gonna get a nasty sunburn if he didn't sit out too. Then he told me that he is really good at feeling other people's pain.

I gave him some of my sun screen and sent him back out to join his class. I offered some SPF30 to the Dunwell twin and he declined. He said that he goes to the beach all the time and he could tell that the sun wasn't strong enough to burn him today.

I'll have to be sure and give him a good pat on the shoulder on Monday;)

4th Grade Writer

In 1st grade, Caitlin would always write stories about her two imaginary friends, Mary and Lloyd. Now she is in 4th grade and writes stories about cats:

GRAYMIST by Caitlin 4th Grade

Graymist Warrior-cat Princess sat back in her throne and observed her new common room of business. Her pink metal water-goblet sat at the ridge of her slick wooden table, and two leather mini-thrones stood in a corner. A grand window loomed to her right, next to a crimson pot with a green sort of plant growing in it. She leaned backward and sighed. As long as she kept the place private, no one would ever think of entering room C-51 of Damwell Enterprises, in the Catland Suburbs.

No one but Peacenfur.

Peacenfur Highrah was one of the most annoying of hippies in the Catland Suburbs. He and the other hippies, Peaceoall and Peaceandlove, roamed the city in search of people in need of “personal hippies.”

And worst of all was the hippie train. You could hear it coming from a mile away, for it had boom boxes and a karaoke system installed on the sides. Sometimes, just sometimes, Peacenfur could be seen singing crazy hip-hop songs on the ceiling of the train!

Graymist brushed her long hair with a rhinestone brush, and settled in for a relaxing day.

How wrong was she.

Somewhere in the afternoon, when she had just settled into a nice afternoon nap, there was a sudden blast from outside as the hippie train sped past. Anyone would’ve thought that they were just passing by, but they weren’t.

Peacenfur was at the door of Damwell Enterprises.

Graymist was having a wondrous dream about the medieval times, when suddenly there was a rather loud and annoying knock from somewhere. She woke with a start and stared around wildly, looking for the source of the noise. “Oh, no,” she thought as her eyes laid upon the metal door, “Not already!”

Then she heard Peacenfur’s shout, “I’m your personal hippie!” Graymist groaned as she pulled on a maroon cloak and got out of the spinning throne. Walking toward her door she searched for a large brass doorknob or a golden keyhole, but found none. Instead, she saw a metal plate and keyhole, with silver keys dangling from a hook to the left.

Assuming that these keys fit in the doorknob, she chose a baby-blue colored key and fit it through the keyhole, opening the door.

Graymist looked around, confused. Had she just imagined the knock, or was—“Aaahhh!” Graymist stumbled backward as Peacenfur somersaulted in. Her cloak fell off her shoulders and her pearl necklace snapped, sending pearls flying in the air, nearly poking her in the eye.

“PEACENFUR!!” Graymist screeched, “GET-OFF-OF-ME!” Peacenfur fell backward on the tile, his long hair falling back in place. He looked awfully wild in a rainbow striped long shirt and bowler pants. A leather belt with a peace sign held up his pants and he wore crazy cowboy boots. No one had ever seen his eyes for they were almost always covered with crazy multi-colored dread locks. In fact, the only people who’d ever glimpsed his cat-eyes were Peaceoall and Peaceandlove.

Graymist pulled her cloak up and picked up her necklace. Shoving it in her pocket, she noticed Peacenfur break in a huge grin, “I’m your personal hippie!”

Graymist backed up on all four paws and scowled at Peacenfur. But Peacenfur wasn’t paying attention; he was edging toward Graymist’s water goblet. Graymist gasped as it dawned on her. Instinctively, she fell backwards into her closet and pulled it closed with a string she had tied long ago. She reached under her rack of clothes for an umbrella, and finally grasped a handle. Fortunately, Peacenfur hadn’t yet—

“Aaaaack!!” Graymist screeched as her door flew open and Niagara Falls came pouring down on her. In the midst of all the rush and fuss, she heard Peacenfur’s loud annoying laugh.

Though it may have looked like Graymist was absolutely fuming and wet, on the inside she was actually expecting this. Her mind was whirring with thoughts and ideas and a single thought hit her suddenly. Peacenfur was laughing so hard that he didn’t notice the ground fall under the warrior princess, but when he did, it was too late.

Graymist slid down a dirt-made tunnel complete with small lights and tiny gems. As she did, she couldn’t help noticing that the ceiling was dripping and the stalagmites were touching the stalactites. She was going to have to call the royal builder and get him up to do the job.

Once she got to the end, she closed a door behind her, dried herself with an old towel, and blow dried her hair. She switched into a dry outfit and, with a flourish, opened an exit door and left her secret room.

Meanwhile, Peacenfur Highrah stared at the place where Graymist Warrior-cat Princess had disappeared, bewildered.

The Nest

Birds come and make their nests in our back courtyard. They have done it for years. Anyway, recently, there have been some renovations in the courtyard and the nests had to be removed. One of the nests had babies in it, and the science teacher built a box for the baby birds to nest in and hung it in the courtyard. You can see right into the nest from the courtyard balcony. The nest that the birds had built was so cool! Besides the usual grass, sticks and twigs, there were several different colored shreds of construction paper and some ribbon and feathers. Now, with it all stuffed in the science teachers' box it looks like a wonderful gift basket!

You Think?

Contrel (3rd grade) looks very similar to his two younger brothers—who look just like each other because they are twins!

MR. BOWERS: Hey Contrel, how can I tell you apart from your two younger brothers?
CONTREL: Because they’re idiots.

Kindergarten Field Day 2010!!!

I got to run the parachute!!! It was so COLD in there!!! I wasn't sweating at all!!! And I was able to use my quiet voice all day long!!!


Seriously, though, I had the most fun ever!!!

Charles's Tree

For three years now Charles (5th Grade) has been checking on his lunch box stuck in the tree out by my afternoon patrol duty spot. The other day, it was gone. We thought it would be there forever. I mean, it made it through Hurricane Rita. Now, there were some men out there with ladders working on the building next to the tree, so we decided that they must have gotten hungry.

In a related story, a bird was having trouble getting out of the stairwell in the back courtyard and Charles took off his shirt (he was wearing two) and gently grabbed the bird. When he took it outside to let it go, it flew into the same tree that held his lunch box for so long. On the way back to class, Charles spotted a caterpillar on the ceiling and wanted to help it too. I told him, "No, but you could feed it to the bird."

He declined.

What is a Bully?

The Music Teacher asked a kindergartner, "What is a bully?"
He answered, "A really fat person."

Talk To It!

ITZEL: Mr. Bowers, Elijah told me to "talk to the butt."
MR. BOWERS: Well, did you talk to it?
ITZEL: NO!!
MR. BOWERS: Aww, you should have! You could have told it, "HEY! YOU STINK!"

The Joke's on Me

I was joking with Madajah (2nd grade) because my coffee was sitting right where she was working:

MR. BOWERS: Hey! I see you trying to drink my coffee--don't you drink my coffee!
MADAJAH: I only drink de-caff.

The Preamble

The Music teacher, and I are putting together our annual production of School House Rock. Today she videoed one of the songs as we were practicing outside.

Trash on Campus

So, I guess I'm kind of mean sometimes, like when I find a piece of wadded up paper on the ground and it is some kids' schoolwork, I will see if the kids' name is on it and take it to them like it is something important that they "lost". I don't give them a speach about littering or anything, but I make a big deal about it, like they should thank me, as if I have recovered their missing property.

PreK-Bilingual

MR. BOWERS: OK, who can give me a "D" word?
LESLIE: Mis-DUH-Bowers.

It's Not The Cutters That Bother Me

I get tired of all the kids tattle-telling on the line cutters. I've started telling them, "Hey, people are gonna cut in line--it just happens--even adults cut each other off in traffic. If cutting bothers you, then line up at the back of the line, nobody cuts in line back there."

3rd Grade Joke

Q: Where does Captain Hook like to shop?
A: The Second Hand Store.

But It's Wednesday

Yesterday after school.

CECILIA (first grade): I love when it's Thursday 'cuz then tomorrow it's Friday.

Anyone?...Anyone?...

MR. BOWERS: Ok, 5th graders, so, today we're doing group improv's. Your group will have one minute to plan out your scene...the first scene is called "Elderly people go bird watching"...anyone?...no? Ok, who wants to do this scene called, "Kids bring home a very unusual pet and their parents won't let them keep it"?....anyone?...no. Okaaaay. "First day working at McDonalds"??? No one? Well, how about this one, "Robbers breaking into a safe in a bank?"

ALL 5TH GRADERS: ME! ME! PICK US! WE'LL DO THAT ONE!!!!

MR. BOWERS: (sigh)

Deflated

Apparently, I haven't straightened my classroom in a while because Eliel (pronounced ee-lee-el) discovered some half deflated balloons in the corner behind the computer.

ELIEL: Hey Mr. Bowers, why do you have all these dead balloons here?

That's Legal

In my Drama class, the 5th graders were acting out solo improv's where I give them a situation with an obstacle and they have to act their way through the obstacle.

For example, they come home from school and have to use the restroom very bad, but when they get to the door, they realize they forgot their key.

I tell the boys that, no, they can't just urinate on the ground--that's against the law in the city.

Some went to a neighbor's house, some climbed through a window, others broke down the door.

Floyd explains his scene thus:

"See, what I did was, I lit a match and set the grass on fire, then I pee'd on the grass to put out the fire, then when the cops came, I was innocent!"

Ninjas in Training

I found this on the ground at school. I find these all over the place. One year, a kid made a bunch of them to sell. The interesting thing about this one is that the paper used to make it is obviously something that the science teacher gave them to study. I'm sure the science teacher didn't teach the kids how to make these in class.

Groundhog Day Pix

I took this one after school. I love how he is soooo excited about his groundhog--not really.

Read The Box

I was talking to the First Grade ESL (English as a Second Language) class about ways to become a better reader:

MR. BOWERS: When I was a kid I would read the back of the cereal box in the morning when I ate my cereal. You know, there are usually games and stuff on the back of the box. Celeste, do you eat cereal for breakfast?
CELESTE: Jes. (This is how she says, "yes")
MR. BOWERS: Ok, so what kind of cereal do you eat?
CELESTE: Uhh...umm...
MR. BOWERS: Come on, what is is? Fruity Pebbles?
CELESTE: Um, no.
MR. BOWERS: Ok, then what? Frosted Flakes? Honey Bunches of Oats?
CELESTE: No.
MR. BOWERS: What is it? Come on, you remember, don't you?
CELESTE: It's dee...dee...de Crunch of de Captain!

Fixin' A Kindergarteners' Cut Finger...

...is tough. It's like trying to put a band-aid on a pencil.

Video Games Much?

The Music teacher asked our 3rd graders, "What is a 'round'?" Joey answers, in all seriousness, like he is giving all of us the correct answer, "A bullet."

Half Eaten Biscuit

I was visititg this year's new kindergarten teachers' classroom and discovered a napkin with a half-eaten sausage biscuit wrapped up in it. I held it up and asked, "Who left this here? We're not supposed to take food from the cafeteria." Tyler spoke up, "But I forgot to bring a snack today." :(

The new kindergarten teacher got a ziplock bag for him to put his biscuit in for snack time.

She's doing a good job!

Cutest Turd Ever

Ok, so, I'm walking past the 1st graders' restrooms, and the most awful smell ever is filling the entire hallway. I think, "That has to be coming from the boys restroom--one of these little 1st graders must have forgotten to flush."

I walk into the restroom and am greeted by a tiny little turd-let on the floor. I investigate further and find that one of the toilets has poo all over it and is filled with toilet paper as if someone was trying to clean up their mess.

I then realize that the small "gift" left on the floor is only a portion of the mess and that the entire floor has tracks of poo on it from where kids have been walking in it AND the tracks have spread out into the first grade hallway--which is why the smell was so powerful.


How are the restrooms at your workplace?

Two Conversations With Jenaya Today

Jenaya was here in kinder, then moved away. All I remember of her is a blur. She was a little ball and never sat still--and she liked to fight with teachers (verbally, of course.)

Now she is in 3rd grade. She's REAL calm. I ran into her this morning:

JENAYA: Mr. Bowers, you like my purse?

It's very stylish and fun looking, black and white with a long strap.

MR. BOWERS: Oh, yeah, that's cool, I like that.
JENAYAH: I got it from my grandma. She just died. Yeah, I've had about 12 people in my family die just now. My uncle, my grandma, uhh, this other man...i think he was related...
MR. BOWERS: Oh, my goodness, I'm sorry...well, you sure have a lot of people waiting for you up there in heaven...you'd better be good and make sure you get there!


Then I see her again this afternoon:

JENAYA: Whew, my medicine makes me sleepy.
MR. BOWERS: Oh, do you take some medicine to help you behave at school?
JENAYA: Yeah.
MR. BOWERS: Oh, haha, I bet you got in a lot of trouble at your other school after you left our school, didn't you?
JENAYA: (with a huge grin) Yeah.
MR. BOWERS: Well, do you think the medicine is working?
JENAYA: Oh, yeah, I never get in trouble.
MR. BOWERS: Does it keep you focused in school?
JENAYA: Yeah.
MR. BOWERS: Well, you seem to be doing a good job, keep it up.

work samples

Little Mr. Bowers

Guess which one's me?

The Tooth That Got Lost Twice

Coach Reid and I were teaching some Pre-K kids when suddenly Connie starts screaming. We go over to her and her mouth is bleeding and there is a fresh hole where a tooth used to be.

We both were so excited for her that we kind of ignored the fact that she was crying. We were saying things like, "Oh boy, you lost your tooth...now the tooth fairy will come...is this your first tooth?...did you pull it out yourself?..." I drug her over to the mirror so she could see the hole in her mouth--but this made her cry more.

She didn't seem to know how her tooth came out and in fact, she didn't even know where the tooth was. We looked in her mouth and couldn't see it anywhere. I thought she had swallowed it or something, then finally one of the other kids found it on the floor. It was the tiniest tooth ever!

Finding her tooth helped her stop crying so we sent her to the nurse. The nurse at our school gives the kids a necklace with a little container on it—shaped like a tooth--to keep the lost tooth in. Connie came back to class smiling with her new necklace.

I saw her the next day and she said that she got $2 from the Tooth Fairy. Man, prices keep going up and up for these kids’ teeth!

Unclear on the Concept

I was talking to a student about the gifts she got for Christmas on the day we returned from winter break. Phillip walked up on the conversation:

PHILLIP: (Smiling as usual) I didn't get to celebrate Christmas.
MR. BOWERS: What? I thought you said your mom was a Christian.
PHILLIP: She is.
MR. BOWERS: Well, did y'all go to church on Christmas day?
PHILLIP: Yes.
MR. BOWERS: Well, then you celebrated Christmas.